Exposed and vulnerable.

[Pixie15]

Hi, I have recently started to see a psychologist for the first time ever. I am feeling a bit exposed and vulnerable at present. It is a bit of an odd sort of relationship. To spend an hour talking about myself which is something that I generally avoid doing is part of the difficulty. But it is also odd to have another person know so much about me when I really have very limited information about them. I invariably get a case of the Oh No's did I really need to share that's. Then I have to process the stuff that came up which leads to search activity for more information of one kind or another. It seems to be taking over my life. Does this sound usual? Thanks. Chris

[bman42]

OPEN and VULNERABLE yes you hit the nail right on the head there. I have also started seeing a psychologist for the first time and can relate to what you are feeling. It is very hard for me to trust people and am finding extremely hard to open myself up to her for the feeling of being vulnerable. I think it is a defence mechanism to just put walls up to protect ourselves from being hurt but probably not a healthy one. Trust is such a big thing to give someone

The thing I am struggling with now is that she gave me an exercise to question all the negative thoughts I am having and replace them with positive thoughts. This is great in theory but it has made me question my own ability to judge any given situation. I had always thought I had good judgement but maybe not. There are times I think that you have to have negative thoughts, maybe I am wrong

But to answer your question, I think it does sound usual as its taking over my life as well as it is one of the hardest things I have done. That and getting used to these anti meds I have just started taking!!!

Thanks for your post chris, its comforting to know i'm not the only one going through this. I hope you keep it up and get something out of it. Please let us know how it progresses for you

Bman

[Blackecho]

Hey Chris.................

Felt exactly the same way..........I would torment myself for a few hours after thinking the same stuff...................but........... as the sessions went on became a lot more comfortable and trusting. A good psychologist isn't there to judge you........they help. Stick with it .........it helps and gets better..............even share those feelings about the difficulties you are having ...........I did ............and was told yeah ...pretty normal.

All the best

Geoff

[geoff]

dear Chris, I think this is a feeling we all have, why should we open up to a stranger, who may in turn reject us, but with psych's it's different, they are there to help us and yes we have to unburden to them.

What Bman has said about writing down in an exercise book about the negativity and when and why it happened is what my psychologist asked me to do as well, but for some reason I never did it.

The reason for this was that I thought that an experience or event from 6 days ago which had me worried I didn't feel like talking about it then, because there were other concerns to talk about that happened yesterday.

Chris this feeling of should I tell someone else about my depression also worried me, simply because from experience once I told someone who was close to me about my depression or suicide attempt, they would just disappear, never to be seen again.

So it's a catch 22 position, but this shouldn't happen with your psych., and if it does then it's time seek other counselling. Please look after yourself. Geoff.

[Pixie15]

Hi guys, Thanks for responding. Bman you are right about the defence mechanisms. It is hard to let down the guard and trust someone else. Blackecho it is good to hear that it may become easier. Geoff I am very sorry that you have been treated badly by people close to you. But from what I have seen of your posts it is their loss.I do feel somewhat better for having posted. cheers, Chris.