Done with bipolar medication

[Loula]

Done with bipolar medication

I've been really trying hard to keep my bipolar at bay. I became really sick late this year on a holiday and my bipolar and anxiety had me acting out. I did crazy out there stuff and had anger depression tantrums. I actually had panic attacks so bad I lost all feelings in my body and passed out 3 times at a gas station in central QLD and was rushed to hospital. Who the hell passes out from panic attacks. But I did kick my painkiller addiction while on holidays. 3 months clean!

I decided to take action and the first pill I went on made me toxic. The second one hello 16 hours sleep and not being able to function. I'm now on a 3rd and I can see it's working. My anger has gone and my lows and high are still a bit to extreme but we are still adjusting the amount I should take.

But I'm hating it. Everyday I can feel it clouding my brain. I can feel it changing my personality. I don't like it. I hate it!! I just want off. I just want to be me. I don't like this feeling.

Is there anyone living a functional life with out medication? I'm more then happy to change my diet, do more exercise, talk to someone.

I just can't do the pill life. I'm just really tiered and can't do it and hate hate hate hate hate being told your medication is no different to some one with asthma of diabetes. Um yes mine is because it messes with my brain.

[white knight]

Hi Loula, welcome

Yes, you have a fellow medication marathon person here.

We can't discuss too much about meds here as per our rules but I can say this...

Ive tried 12 different meds but most of those were for bipolar 1...a misdiagnosis. Once diagnosed correctly in 2009 with bipolar 2 I tried a few meds then bingo!! For me it was a mood stabiliser and a very small amount of anti depressants.

Fine tuning was needed and now I'm very stable. Of course there are factors like are you bipolar 1 or 2, have depression or dysthymia like me but its worth asking you doctor if mood stabilisers are for you.

Endurance and tolerance are things we struggle with. Sometimes we need to consider radical ideas to make our lives more pliable.

Google

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Topic: realism, you are what you are- beyondblue

Topic: do we expect a smooth road in life- beyondblue

Glad you're here.

Tony WK

[Loula]

I was mis diagnosed to with depression for many years and would be up for days baking. I've been on 5 different types of anti depressants.

The doctors think I have bipolar 1 but now rapid cycling bipolar. There still not 100% sure and I don't want to see a phycatrist because it's to hard and painful.

Ive tried mood stabilisers but got toxic from it.,

Im now on the heavy stuff and I can just feel it working on my brain and it's the worse feeling and sending my anixety through the roof.

[Kazzl]

Hi Loula

I'm sorry to see you in such a bad way, and I do understand. Medication is such a vexed issue for us. Sometimes it takes so long to get it right, and there is a price to pay, including brain fog and fatigue, which I get too.

All I can say is that for me, drugs are necessary.

You mentioned you don't want to see a psychiatrist. Does that mean you're just seeing a GP for medication? Could you possibly rethink that? They are more expert in medications than GPs (my GP said from the outset that she would refer me on if the first lot of meds weren't successful because a psychiatrist would be more experienced in complex needs such as anti-psychotics). Worth considering.

Very best wishes to you Loula

Kaz

[Loula]

Last time I saw a phycatrist I didn't speak for 3 weeks and nearly ended my life twice. I'm not ready for it. This new med has taken away the anger like the meds the phycatrist first gave me so im assuming that's a good thing. I just feel fogged, it in my brain and an emotional reck. And the last 3 days the nightmares have started. I was sleeping good on them for 3 weeks. 8 hours a night instead of 4

[white knight]

OK Loula.

Maybe you'd like to tell us a little about yourself. Hobbies, sports, interests?

We are a friendly bunch here.

Tony WK

[Dogdude]

Hi Loula,

​I see this post was a few months ago and I truly hope things have improved for you. I like yourself, am really struggling with the whole medication and treatment thing. After being originally treated with depression, Iknow have a diagnosis of 'potential' Bipolar 2 with an underlying dysthymia, that was about 3 years ago. Nothings changed and I'm still in potential land.

All this made me decide to go off them, this didn't last long. If nothing else it made me realise that no matter how much I didn't like being on them it was so much better than the place I returned to without them.

So in a nutshell it was a case of selecting the lesser of the two evils, and the medication won out on that front.

If you are still thinking about changing, make sure you work with your PDoc.

Take care of yourself.