Do I not like therapy or is it my psychologist I dont like?

[My-life-is-a-constant-Mess]

Hi everyone I have been seeing a psychologist since early 2016 but I dont think im getting anything out of it. At the beginning of last year I started seeing the councillor at my school for symptoms of depression I was slightly uncomfortable but I got over that in the first 1-2 sessions and now I enjoy going sure I still get uncomfortable when discussing my issues especially when talking about my self esteem and low self worth but I still enjoy going and I get on well with her I prefer her to the psychologist I just get on better with her and we just seem to connect better) and I told her something was causing a great deal of stress and worry and that was I thought I might of been transgender. luckly my psychologist specialised in Gender Identity Disorder but i feel like thats all we talk about instead of the issues that are really causing me problems we rarely talk about my self esteem and negative attitude on everything I just dont think I connect with her I kind of feel awkward seeing her and during sessions i feel kind of "off" and uncomfortable and dont think the therapy is helping me I still feel just as bad as I did before actually I think Im getting worse Iv now developed anxiety and Im having anxiety attacks Im scared to get in a car im scared of being on the train I cant sleep because im scared something bad will happen when I sleep etc. I'm specifically terrified of spiders and i feel like they are all over me and are out to get me and that they are going to bite me while im asleep and ill die. (I spoke to her about this and all she did was suggest finding a way to keep the spiders out instead of helping me deal with the issue she kind of brushed it aside) I like talking to my school councillor, I even prefer talking to my GP but shes going on maternity leave in a month, I really dont like seeing my psychologist I dont know why It just feels "off" but It will be real hard to switch psychologists because the one I currently see is the only one who specialises in Gender issues that isnt in the city and real expensive she's the only one in my area and I really dont want to be more of a burden on my family than I already am by making them drive me to the city. I feel like I have too many issues to deal with and I dont know where to start. Sorry its so long I just need to vent, any advice, suggestions or opinions are welcome

[BballJ]

Hi My-life-is-a-constant-Mess,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

One thing i was taught when I got my first referral to my psych was that you may not get along with the one you find find first and may not click because finding a good psych is like finding a good friend.

After reading your post I feel like the main issues are outside of the transgender topic currently, you seem to have other things that are more concerning to you, apologies if this is incorrect, just how I read your post but you my need to see a different psychologist to iron out the anxiety etc get that under control, that's just something I thought might help?

My best for you,

Jay

[White_Rose]

Dear My Life is a constant mess

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Thank you for posting. I have to agree with Jay that it may well be a good idea to see another professional health person. Can you visit your GP and explain the situation, including how well you get on with your school counsellor. Your GP may be happy for you to talk to the school counsellor only.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to the psychologist I really urge you to find an alternative. Finding someone you really click with can take a little time. You appear to have resolved the gender issue so there is no need to see someone who specializes in these matters. Psychologists are expensive because there is no Medicare rebate except for the first ten sessions. Private medical insurance covers some costs but not a lot.

Would you consider going to a psychiatrist? I suggest this purely for financial reasons. If you find a psychiatrist you like and get on with, it's great. Their fees are claimable through Medicare so reduce the cost a lot.

Have a chat to your GP before she goes on maternity leave. Have you discussed with her who will manage your mental health while she is away? I think it's important to know who you well see on a regular basis while the usual GP is away. You don't want to see someone different every time.

I would love to continue this conversation with you.

Mary

[My-life-is-a-constant-Mess]

I did consider seeing a psychiatrist but to my knowledge they deal more with the medical side than the therapy. Also the biggest factor is I already feel like a burden and I feel guilty for making my parents have to put up with me and my issues and having to take me to appointments so I really don't want to make them drive to the city as thats where all the psychiatrists are its about a 2 hour drive from my house and I don't want to make it harder for them.

I had a chat with my GP last week to renew my mental health care plan so I have 4 sessions then I have to go back. She has said she wants me to continue to see the psychologist and give it a few more sessions and then change if it doesn't get better so Im going to have 4 more with her and If i see no changes I might look for a new psychologist. As I'm on the health care plan I get the 10 sessions a year so that less than 1 session a month and I find that very difficult to form a connection and see any results with so little sessions I would prefer a regular session once every 2 weeks would probably be good but my family is having some significant money issues and I go to private school so its expensive and I have been unable to find a job so we cant afford much. My parents constantly go on about money and me not having a job and I feel very guilty, my brother has a job but I don't and all they do is go on about how I should be more like my brother.

My GP is never coming back she is moving states so Im going to try and see if I could see one of the other doctors at the practice my mum works there as a receptionist so she tells me her suggestions and I have picked who Im probably going to be seeing she is on leave until April so ill have to find a substitute for a few months.

[White_Rose]

Dear Life

Hope it's OK to shorten your name.

Psychiatrists are able to prescribe medication because they are doctors. It's useful to have the same person prescribe who is managing your depression. You have four sessions left with your psychologist and any further sessions will need to be entirely paid for by your family. With a psychiatrist the fee is claimed back via Medicare. No it won't be 100% but the gap will be a lot less than the total psychologist fee after the next four sessions. And of course when the Medicare Safety Net kicks in it will will further reduce the fee cost to your family. Ask your GP about this. In my opinion the 10 visit mental health plan only scratches the surface of a person's problem. Just as you feel comfortable and start working you need to wait until the following year to continue or pick up the entire tab on your own,

Psychiatrists are therapists so no need to find a separate psychologist. They do not merely prescribe medication. In fact in most cases that is one of smaller areas of discussion. It's all about you and your problems, how to define them, help you understand where these things originate, and work out how to manage. The sooner you start managing the better it will be for your whole life. What are you expecting to change in your life any time soon? If you are depressed the change does not happen quickly. It takes a great deal of effort from you to make it work. Is your psychologist used to dealing with young people? I hope so.

I suggest you contact the Kids Helpline. 1800 55 1800 and explore their website. www.kidshelpline.com.au These are people with lots of experience in helping young adults such as you. They may have online counselling, but I'm not sure.

If you are going to need paid professional help then you need to find someone that can help you best. Do you have a sense of rapport with your psychologist? All psychologists, and for that matter psychiatrist, are not born equal, to paraphrase. Some are much better than others so choose carefully.

Mary