Dissapointed with therapist and doctor

[Nancyblue]

I would like to talk about how a bad experience with a therapist and doctor can totally destroy all of the progress that has been made for ones mental health.

After relocating after many years i made sure i set up supports. I had a doctor and therapist who knew me well where i used to live and now having to go over my history again and again I felt totally unsupported by any of the GPs that i met. limited by time contstraints and always running late. Things went from me "treading water" to feeling like I was drowning. I got to a point that I was suicidal (I had thoughts in the past but this was the worst.). Being familiar with mental health, i did what i was meant to do and went to the GP. I knew i needed some support. The GP was totally dismissive and abrupt. I Asked her to put me on a mental Health plan so i could see a psychologist. I asked her to increase my meds which she did. At no point did she enquire how i was feeling or any concern. Thank goodness I know what to do be cause she did not. Starting with her lack of concern. Not once did she ask about my safety. (yes of course i am still here but the point is she did not seem in the least concerned at all). There was no follow up appointment. NOTHING!!

I sorted it out on my own as usual. Yes I sound bitter and angry but that is why I am posting because i need to get it out there. I didn't hurt myself because i have children, two dogs and a husband. I think I could have easily done something. I even have the method picked out. The doctor knew none of this and didn't even ask.

I got stuck in. Saw a therapist, did yoga, ate and slept.Then I got very down again and needed to see my therapist recently. It is an effort to see her. The last visit i had with her was a disaster. I arrived at her waiting room to see another lady waiting as well who was on her first appointment and she too had travelled quite a distance. Turned out my therapist had double booked us AND was running 30 minutes late. The lady waiting was very upset but i reassured her that the therapist was worth the wait. I gave my appointment to the lady waiting and got back in my car and drove an hour and half back home again. The therapist rang saying "these things happen sometimes". I however think that in this sort of profession it is inexcusable and i am not sure if i will go back again. I felt so unimportant and fragile. It has knocked me so much. The lady who was also booked to see her apparently cancelled her session. Not a good start

[PamelaR]

Hello Nancyblue and welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Life sounds very difficult for you at the moment. It's good you are getting it out. The community here is caring, friendly, supportive, safe and non judgmental.

When you've done all the right things and you get treated like that, you do feel let down hey. I guess the biggest thing is - it's not a reflection on you. The doctor was having a bad day and passing it on to you and the therapist, well, not a good way to start with a new person.

All the change you're going through at the moment - moving, setting up new place to live. Maybe you're hard on yourself too. If I were going through all that, I'd be a bit of a mess really. Here is you sounding, very well organised and on top of things. Well done to you.

Are you going to think about see a different doctor next time? What about another visit to the therapist - 1 1/2 hrs drive is an awful long way to go. Maybe you could ring next time to make sure they booked it correctly? I truly hope it hasn't put you off going.

Keep reaching out here, if and when you want to. You're not alone Nancyblue.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Nancyblue]

Thanks Pamela. I have been to a few doctors. I now live in a rural area and travel is accepted as normal. I may see the therapist again as she is quite skilled. I was just so upset after that visit. She even sent me a reminder of my appointment so no need for me to call her.

Just curious if anyone else has had had negative experiences with trained “professionals”. It is taking me a while to bounce back this time as being let down was part of the reason why I was seeing her and then to actually have a therapist do the same thing was just compounding my issue.

I am so sensitive at the moment anyway.

[MsPurple]

HI Nancyblue

It is really frustrating especially when therapists double book. I'm not too sure how it happens to be honest. The systems they use usually don't allow it. I can understand your frustration. Maybe call up next appointment and make sure there isn't a double booking. It isn't your fault they double booked and it sucks you have to suffer the consequences. I am glad you are going back to see them despite this set back.

I'm sorry you feel like you are treading water. IT is good you can identify that you need to reach out and get some help.

[PamelaR]

Hi Nancyblue

I do feel for you. Feeling like you’re been let down by your therapist must be frustrating. I’ve not had your experience, though there has been a couple of them that haven’t helped in my recovery. In these instances i’ve chaanged psych.

That must be difficult for you because you’re in a rural area.

Hopefully there maybe others in the forums who can give you more empathy because they have experienced something similar to your situation. Keep reaching out, if and when you want to . You’re not alone.

[geoff]

Hello Nancyblue, and a warm welcome to you.

When I make an appointment it's always the first one of the day, even then, they are still late.

Before when I had to see a doctor mid morning, I could be waiting 30 minutes or more, but I can't wait more than 20 minutes because I get agitated, that's why it's the first one in the morning.

What does annoy me is when you really need to see someone they are booked out all day and probably the next day as well.

I also live in a country town and book appointments in advance for at least a month or so, I can always cancel them if I need to.

I'm sorry for you.

Geoff.

[JaybeeB]

Hi Nancyblue

I know how you feel. I have been sent to 2 psychologist and also 2 psychiatrists. Three were not very good. The fourth is a psychiatrist who is just wonderful and has made my life so much easier.

My first experience with a psychiatrist was one with who gave me advice that indicated I have to get used to the situation, which was causing my depression and anxiety. Three years later I still wasn't 'used to it'.

The second was a psychologist who charged more than I could claim back so I was paying about $68 out of pocket. I wouldn't have minded had she been good, but she always left me waiting 10 minutes and then ended the session early. Also, she never responded to phone calls or messages. leaving me feeling anxious about when my next appointment would be, if ever.

The third was one who never seemed to remember who I was when she saw me sitting on the stool outside her office door, and then started the session by talking to me while typing on her computer. 'So, how are you?' and I'm supposed to talk to her back. She made a fuss about giving me a note for work, which I needed. And I left the session feeling more anxious than before I went in.

The fourth is wonderful. A psychiatrist, and I do pay more but I don't mind because he helps me. He organised a return to work plan, with adjustments to my work load and environment, and fewer hours. I'm starting to feel safe at work for the first time in many many years. I now get out of bed and go to work without taking sick leave. Plus the medication is helping.

This is my first post, but yours attracted me, because I don't have faith in therapy.

[PamelaR]

Hi JaybeeB and a warm welcome to Beyond Blue forums

So great to have you onboard our community. What a lovely response you’ve given to NancyBlue. You’re so right finding the right health professional can take time. Thank goodness you have found one that suits you.

The pros and cons of therapy is a great topic. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who’d like to take about it. Not sure if there is already a thread along similar lines. You can do a search in the BB search field. If there isn’t one you’re welcome to start one about the pros and cons of therapy, only if you want to do this. No pressure. To start a thread - Go to the top of this thread and you’ll see a button - new thread. Press this and off you go.

Again welcome and thank you for sharing your story.

Kind regards
PamelaR

[Nancyblue]

Thank you JayeeB. You make my situation feel so much less dramatic. You have really helped. I have rebooked with this therapist now as I know that when I am with her I do feel well supported.

I think you are amazing. You kept trying until you found the right fit.

I have used therapy on and off for many years. I had a fantastic psychotherapist where I used to live and felt very supported.

In the past, therapy has been a perfect place to go to talk through difficult things where u do not feel safe talking to anyone else. I am a total supporter of it even though it does cost.

I was in a very bad headspace and this experience really knocked me for a little bit but resilience is something that I have as well. Sounds like you have it in buckets.

It is defitely important to never give up and keep going until you find what works and if it stops working then make some changes or try something else.

My change has been joining this forum. Thank you for the advise and support.

[alma17]

Hi Nancyblue,

You're not the only one who feels really disappointed with the medical community. I had a very bad therapist experience recently, where I also felt overall uncared for and also felt quite shuffled away. I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now actually, and it still leaves me feeling hurt.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are drawn to certain professions not necessarily to help people, they're drawn to them for power, status, money, etc. It's unfair, but I've found that we have to advocate for ourselves a lot of the time.

I hope you get some real help for your problems and you find someone sincere to care.