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Disheartening psychologist appointment

LilyR
Community Member

Has anyone ever had a first appointment with a psychologist and left feeling more confused and anxious than when they went in?
Before the appointment I was nervous but at the same time really hopeful as I wanted therapy to help. The psychologist wasn’t rude as such but she was really abrupt. It’s hard to explain but the word abrupt is the only word I can think of to use. I felt like I was in a job interview and was being ‘grilled’. She kept asking me what event in my life caused me to have low self esteem/confidence. There is no such event in my case. She was finding it hard to fathom I think that there wasn’t a particular event. Surely someone can be anxious and have low confidence/self esteem without a particular reason or life changing event.
I’m really disheartened. Has anything like this ever happened to anyone? I’m really frustrated and feel horrible.

4 Replies 4

Sophia16
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Lily,

It sucks that you had to go through that 😕 and I am happy that you took the courage to go to a psychologist. I guess that's the way she does her therapy. Every therapist is different.

There are good therapists out there who will fit your needs and preferences. If you still want to improve your mental health, you’re ready for a new therapist. I'd recommend you to find another one that will best suit your needs and that you feel comfortable with.

Hope this helps and you're feeling better 🙂

Petal22
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi LilyR,

Well done for seeing a psychologist but I’m sorry you experienced what you experienced from the one you saw……..

Please try again… maybe go to your gp and ask for a referral to one or if there is one they’d recommend…

Not all health professionals are like the one you saw, please keep trying until you find the right one for you…

here to chat

Pumpkinella
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi LilyR,

So sorry you had to go though that. It is hard when we are really hopeful and it doesn't quite work out the way we thought. Yes I have had psychologists in the past that were not great. I am not surprised you feel horrible and I'm so sorry, it sounds like that psychologists needs more training. One told me that I should just live with it because there is nothing going to change (it was my first session lol). But while it can take a couple of goes to find the right psychologist there are many great ones out there. I think its just that we have to change our expectations to understanding that finding the right psychologist can be a process but once you find him/her it its really helpful. Its not even a matter of finding one that isn't abrupt or baffled, its also about finding one that you feel like you can get comfortable with and that you can connect with. As psychologists are people with their own personalities, sometimes it can take a couple of goes before you go -"yes I feel good here".

You can always have a browse yourself for registered psychologists at: https://www.psychology.org.au/Find-a-Psychologist

You can search by issue and then click on their website link to have a look at their approach to counselling. I found my current psychologist there and he is great! The psychologist before him - I could not connect with. Seeing their photos helps too, some faces I just trigger me and others look like I could be more comfortable or connect with them.

I think it can definitely be the case that your feelings were not triggered by a big event in your life. I think that we live in a social world where we are constantly in comparison with one another and can feel inadequate. Its not like we live in some utopia right?! You are always welcome to discuss any feelings you have on the forums too.

I think it would be great to just practice a little self-care. Treat yourself with something - even small, to unwind yourself after that experience because it sucks! Then you can perhaps shift your attention to the process of finding the right psychologist for you - that you connect with.

Love

Pumps

mocha delight
Community Member
Hi lilyr I’m sorry it happened you and I think you definitely deserve to do some self care for yourself. And I was given the advice before I started seeing my psychologist that: you may have to try a few psychologists before you find one you click with. Which I was lucky that I (week thought that I did) clicked with mine even from the first appointment but she was not the one my gp recommended to me as that one when I called were she worked the receptionist said she was not taking on new clients. But I found the one I’m now seeing one the ‘find a professional’ section here on the beyondblue website so I called and managed to get a appointment for two/three weeks later. So don’t give up as I can definitely say no matter how many mental health professionals someone has to see it’s completely worth it when you find the right one so please don’t give up until you do as it’s worth it once you do.