Coping with coming off strong medication

[Guest_3712]

Hi all,

Its been a long time since I posted here but I've never forgotten the support I received during some very difficult times. Without going into a lot of details I have had major depression and anxiety for a number of years. Several admissions to psych hospitals, countless medication addictions and ongoing therapy and still I'm not "well".

I have tried to live a 'normal' life these last couple of years, as possible as that is while still heavily medicated, I've had a job ( retrenched before Christmas) , seen my daughter marry and the birth of my first grandchild- all good for sure.

But the price for this normality is that to function I have to take a lot of medication. But no more. I decided a week ago I cant live in this twilight world any longer and stopped one of my meds that left me so zoned out I could only take it at night or if I knew I wasn't go anywhere. not to mention the 30 plus kgs I've put on.

I have a supportive psych who I see regularly and while he wasn't happy I stopped without talking to him first he understands my need to try and gain back some control of my life.

Dear Readers I know I'm doing the right thing, but I have been on these meds for so long I'm scared I wont be able to hang in there. Its not my first time coming off strong medication but before I was in hospital and it was still very hard. I can feel some of the old anxieties creeping back and that dark cloak of depression I have managed to kept above my head, is beginning to slip further over my shoulders.

If anyone has gone through similar experience I would appreciate any support or advice.

Stressless

[blondguy]

Hi Stressless

I hope you are doing reasonably okay with a situation which is a tough one.

I think Dr Kim said everything in her last paragraph which does cover your situation. The only other point I can assist with is super frequent GP help if you still feel the same way. I am lucky to have a great GP who 'understands' my illness so well. (even by phone if you have a good GP)

HolisticPsychiatry...Hi, Dr Kim (and ChrisB) have covered the medication issue well with their vast experience.. There are many success stories on and off the forums that have involved medication, regular therapy and lifestyle improvements.

Many volunteers and staff spend an incredible amount of hours here highlighting the benefits of this holistic approach to improve the overall quality of life for sufferers of mental illness (and their families)

This is my 35th year living with mental illness. No one wakes up and decides to feel this way. You have various genetic and chemical issues at play that do require the platform that medication does provide to function somewhat effectively.

My apologies Stressless for hijacking your thread

Great to have you as part of the forums family too SL 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Guest_3712]

Hi Bonnie

sorry I don't know how I missed your first post - thank you

i am unable to respond in full at the moment - small crisis ,but I will go back and read both again and post soon

take care

Stressless

[Guest_3712]

Hi Chris

thanks for weighing in here . If I can just clarify a few points

what everyone seems to be missing here is that the main reason I stopped my anti psychotics was I was ABUSING them

I have said it over and over. I explained this in a detailed response to Dr Kim but received no reply

Her advice was sound and I acknowledged that but my dilemma was and is my addictions. I was hospitalised 3 times for detoxing.at times I took 5 times my dose.

in the last year I begged my doc not to give me any repeats on my script and advise my gp to not give me a script. I even made him ration my pills so I had only enough to cover till next visit .

i am still on my A/D 's but this seems to be overlooked. I get I will probably need these the rest of my life but not the others - they made me so sedated they changed me . I couldn't taper off cos I just wouldn't. If they were there I took them. Like cigarettes which I gave up 20 yrs ago

I know some people have a terrible time stopping and I was scared of what would happen . I've been lucky hardly any side effects at all . Overall I feel fine more clearheaded for sure

anxiety and panic are never far away but now l have to deal with it another way - I know without a doubt if I had those mess I would be taking them like tic tacs

surely given my history I am better off without them ???

take care

Stressless

[Chris_B]

Hi Stressless, thanks for the clarification. Dr Kim's limited time on the forums prevents her from providing ongoing replies or support within threads, which is why you haven't received a further response. With respect to how to best manage your history with medications vs. your current need (or not) to be on them, that's a matter best reserved for discussion with your current treating team, with your full medical history in front of them.

It sounds like you know what's best for you. We are here to support you through whatever decision you make going forward.

Sorry we've hijacked your thread and hopefully we can get back on track in discussing how to manage your symptoms.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Paul

no problem I welcome all input

i am a bit overwhelmed with the latest posts so if u could read my reply to Chris this may explain my situation more

take care

Stressless

[Guest_3712]

Hi Holistic Psychiatry,

thanks for your support and input

i have been overwhelmed with the posts soo if u read my reply to Chris this may explain things further

take care

Stressless

[HolisticPsychiatry]

Hey Peter, thanks for your thoughts. I understand your perspective and I appreciate the opportunity to share mine here. I understand Dr Kim is busy, no worries.. and no disrespect to her 20 years of experience in this area. According to an article that appeared on ABC this week 1 in 4 teenagers now have signs of mental illness. The World Health Organisation says depression is now the world's most widespread illness. I'd really love it if Kim would take note of those authors.. especially Dr Peter Gotzsche. What if lifestyle medicine was far more powerful than anyone is currently acknowledging? What if it didn't always have to be "in combination" with drug therapies. What else is possible I wonder. Best wishes.

[blondguy]

Hey SL

No worries at all 🙂 I tried to separate your specific situation in my last post probably not well enough.

Being crook the last feeling you need is to be overwhelmed (I know what thats like and its awful)..sorry 😞

My apologies again for putting my Eagle Beak into your thread

Thanks heaps for posting back and letting us know what you think. Duly noted!

You have a great attitude SL

my best for you

Paul

[Guest_3712]

Hi Paul

now it's my turn to apologise- I don't mean to sound ungrateful- part of the reason I've been overwhelmed is I didn't expect the feedback I've received- I don't deserve it .

what I don't get is why is everyone so prepared to overlook what I've done - lying about how much medication I was taking all the time, doctor shopping putting my life at risk all because I can't face my issues.

how selfish is that ? Ive caused my family so much pain over the years . Each time I detoxed I promised it wouldn't happen again- but it never lasted

im not sure what u mean about me having a great attitude- I'm just trying to right some wrongs and make up for all the crap I've put my family through

not sure if any of this makes sense but I just wanted to assure u value yours and all the other posters support- just don't think I deserve it

take care

Stressless

[blondguy]

Hey SL

no apologies necessary at all 🙂

I like your attitude because you say what you feel. Many people (including me) dont have that quality. If I had all that busy posting/hijacking happening on one of my threads I would be very overwhelmed...

This is your thread and at 342 posts it must be doing some good which makes me happy that you are here.

Ive been working on my self esteem since the chronic anxiety attacked me in 1983 when I was 23. It takes a long time and even now my sense of self worth still needs rebuilding (an ongoing process)

This isnt cliched advice in anyway SL. It took me 3 months to have the guts to post here as I felt unworthy and mega insecure about posting with this crap depression.You have more guts than I did! No brainer there 🙂

I know you dont feel like you are deserving after whats 'happened'. Thats the whole point.......because you have had the strength to post (above) what you have about screwing up it means you are tougher and more deserving than many other people that let it build up inside themselves and make themselves more unwell...

Happy to be here for you SL 🙂

Paul