Dear Moon~
Well I’m sorry to hear you are not doing well, I read your
other post too and can see things are pretty tough. You do seem to have two battles at
the moment on top of your fear reactions, the first is not to rely upon drink and the second is how to deal with your GP.
I really wish there was a way to immediately fix everything, however I can’t see it. The path to improvement is most likely though longer term measures. It is the only way I've managed to improve. Alcohol will quickly get to be a problem in its own right
if used as a buffer, and as you have said will
end up killing me if I start relying on it again – something I’d really hate to
see.
I guess you are right in thinking a GP is the starting point
to fixing the current problems, but I think it really does have to be just the one
GP. Treatment for the various problems you have, both physical and mental, are
not done in isolation. Progress, treatment and therapy for one can greatly affect the other – and
vice versa. This can make for a highly dangerous situation if they not all being monitored by the same doctor.
It does require a coordinated balanced approach with as much
knowledge of your history as possible.
At the moment you are seeing only one side of your GP, and
after 10 years I’m sure that despite your lighthearted approach she will have a
pretty good idea if things are not right, after all she has been privy to your
state on previous occasions and organized therapy which you needed it.
If you find it hard to talk face to face then write everything down and hand over the paper.
Start with the symptoms and go on to the thoughts. I'd strongly suggest you include the temptations you are having about drink and see what strategies are available.
I’m not sure this is what you wanted to hear, however sometimes
the harder road is best. Looking at my self I find when in the throes of anxiety perspective can be lost and any port in a storm seem attractive no matter how inadvisable.
Croix
