Anxiety when visiting the Psychologist

[MoonWings]

Hello,

In the past three days, there have been major changes going on within my life. I came out as suicidal to my mother, who quickly booked me in to see a psychologist so I had someone to talk to the same day. However, as I reached the appointment I was completely unable to get out of the car. I could feel my heart pounding and I couldn't bring myself to get out.

I thought that maybe it was just because I'd had a full on day. My mother spoke to the psychologist and she said that she wanted to see me ASAP, and booked an appointment for the next day as she would be busy for the next week.

The exact same thing happened when we arrived at the next appointment. I couldn't get out of the car, even though I knew I needed to. I could feel my anxiety levels shoot through the roof and I was unable to get them them under control.

I have another appointment booked for next week, and I need to get into the next one. Anyone have some tips on how I can get myself in there? Also, can psychologists admit patients to hospitals? I'm extremely worried that I'll start talking and I'll say something that warrants her needing to send me to a hospital.

Thanks,

Moon.

[james1]

Hi Moon,

It sounds like there's been a lot going that could benefit from seeing the psychologist. I'm glad your mum's been supportive in getting help.

Others may be able to give you better tips on how to manage anxiety. For me, I just try to breathe and tell myself that, even though I'm late to work, I'm still there. The troubles I have are more self-deprecation so it's just about reminding myself that it's okay to make mistakes and feel bad. When we're stressed, as you are now, that's totally normal and acceptable.

I wanted to talk more about hospital. If you want, you can also have a look at my hospital topic in the treatments board.

It's okay to go to hospital. They will take care of you while you're there. You're suffering from a mental illness and it's normal to get medical assistance when we're ill. If your closest friend was suffering and had to be taken to hospital, you'd be pleased that they were getting the care they needed.

Did you want to talk about what your thoughts were while sitting in the car? Perhaps we can help you try to get those thoughts under control so you can get out.

It sounds like you need a bit of help at the moment so I"m really glad you've come here. I hope you feel safe in posting whatever you feel comfortable posting. We're here to support you.

James

[Starwolf]

Hi Moonwings,

Thank you for sharing your concerns with us. I'm glad you have come to the right place.

Anxiety can be paralysing. Opening up to reveal our inner core doesn't come easy. Please keep in mind that therapists are professionals. Listening to and trouble shooting mental/emotional concerns is their job. Mental issues are just another area of medicine. Just like diabetes or blood pressure problems, they ought to be treated as such. They're something happening to you, not caused by you so judgment doesn't apply. Whatever you have to say, please rest assured that the psychologist will have heard it all before.

If face to face conversation is too daunting, why not write down your concerns and hand this over first. S/he will take it from there and make you feel comfortable. You deserve quality of life and peace of mind so please take good care of yourself. This courageous first step will help you reclaim both. Perhaps your mother or a friend could go along with you. Would this help ?

There are quite a few techniques that help relieve anxiety symptoms. You can for example google Relaxed Breathing and Relaxed Body Scan and practice those at home.

Having your mother's support is a valuable asset. She knows you need help. No need to struggle alone when assistance is available. With help and support, the situation can be managed and things can and will get better.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi MoonWings, your body is telling you something and your mind is telling you something else . This confusing situation arises when we get conflicting messages from different parts of our brain . Ok , let me explain...

There is a primitive or reptilian brain (your amygdala) that sits on top of your spinal cord deep in your brain. It controls the “fight , flight or freeze” reflex that we have as a response to perception of danger . This was a very handy evolutionary response when we were cave men as it allowed us to very quickly respond to predictors and not get eaten!!

Over riding that is our thinking brain or mammalian brain (the cortex ). This part of your brain has all the filing cabinets in it with information about making sense of the world around us and deciding how to act . So if we hear a noise outside and use our cortex we can “ think “ about whether it is really a saber tooth tiger, or just wind in the trees…

Guess where your response is coming from ? I think you are totally responding to what your amygdala has perceived is a threat “ the psychologist”, by going into adrenaline pumping freeze mode ( same thing that happens to a deer in the headlights of your car by the way!) Is it rational ? No! Does the Amygdala care ? No! the Amygdala is doing its job . It is protecting you !!! However, your cortex , later can see that is “ got it wrong”

So , how to manage this - we have to outsmart the amygdala.

1. Arrive 1/2 hour before the appointment as this flight / fright / freeze response can’t be maintained for long, so give yourself time in case it happens, to get out the other end of it . The adrenaline / cortisol output is usually only maintained for a max of 10-15 minutes and subsides over a few mins once you do the breathing exercise .

2. The body needs the message that there is no danger and you don’t need to run! But it needs it from the body not the cortex . So use your breathing to tell the body everything is ok . Give your body the message that the danger has passed , that i am now relaxing peacefully catching my breath . Slow your breathing- breath in slowly for a count of 3 , hold your breath for 3 and then out for 3 . Repeat 3 times . With every breath out , drop your shoulders , try to loosen your muscles with each slow breath.

3. If necessary , warn the therapist , and if on your last attempt you can’t get out of the car , ask them to come meet you there and walk you in ! Or just sit in the car and have a chat ..

[MoonWings]

Hi James,

Thanks for replying to this post. I appreciate it.

The point you brought up about a friend being hospitalised really got me thinking. However, I'm still extremely nervous about the thought of being put into a hospital. I have no idea what goes on, especially when a minor is being hospitalised (I am still a minor).

I don't remember everything that I was thinking, because I feel like I was zoning out while everything was running through my mind. I guess I was afraid of the outcome of the appointment, and nervous about meeting the psychologist for the first time, and about what she would say to me. Anxious, because I guess I'm always anxious, especially about new people and places, and just generally worried about what would happen during the appointment as I have never been to a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist appointment before. I can't remember anything else, I was quite distraught at that time.

It's nice to know I have people that don't even know me willing to support me, so thank you.

Moon.

[MoonWings]

Starwolf,

Thank you for your suggestions. I appreciate it.

I'm a very private person so I would actually find it much harder to open up if I had someone I knew with me. The idea of writing what I'm feeling down and giving it to her sounds great, I might do that before my next appointment.

Thanks for all your help,

Moon.