Dont be sorry Skye. You have legitimate concerns. But that need not be the case. And I'm sure it wont come to that. As I've said to you elsewhere, you are only looking at the very worse case scenario. And you still dont even know you have it.
So take your one appointment with the Psychiatrist, and reassure yourself that you dont have schizophrenia. And then, either way, accept that diagnosis. Make the most of it and go from there. If it turns out that you do have 's' know that it CAN be successfully treated. And dont forget what I said to you on another thread - it is only a word, and a diagnosis of 's' does not change the person that you are now. You are better off knowing. I just hope that when you get a diagnosis either way, that you will accept it. It is highly likely that you DO NOT suffer from 's'. So you will need to accept that too.
You say that you are concerned that if you are diagnosed with 's' that it increases the possibility that your kids may also develop it? So dont you think it would be best that they know in advance? Or would you prefer them to go through this same process that you are currently going through? The not knowing, the constant wondering.
It has to be your choice Skye, and you need to settle it sooner rather than later. You arent offending anybody here, and I have sympathy for your fear of the whole concept of it. There is no need to apologise.
If you need to take some time out from the Forums to collect your own thoughts and resolve this issue, then so be it. You probably have all the advice you are going to get by now anyway. Just work out in your own mind now, what is best for you. What will make you happy? What will you finally accept?
I know this is really difficult Skye, but it is an important issue in your life. For your own, and your family's wellbeing, you need to resolve it.
Good luck, and always know that we are here, no matter what. We will all support you.
Sherie xx
