Advice on how to tell your doctor your depressed.....

[canadiangirl]

Hello everybody. I'm new here, My name is Reill. I struggle with depression and low self-esteem on a daily basis. And I need help, its not fair on my children, my fiancee, and myself. This is eating me alive. Ive lost heaps of weight. I think of my home as a giant shell, and I'm the little hermit crab peering at the world outside. I've lost all happiness and umph for life. Im hardly happy anymore, I barely laugh. Is this how a young woman should feel. I cant bring myself to get out there and meet other moms to make friends. Im lonely. Hell, I can barely leave the house. Im lazy, unproductive with goals, I want to work and feel good out but I'm tired, I have no energy. All these things sound good in my head but I never do them..How is this fair on everybody? Especially my children. As with my self-esteem, well I have none. I hate my image, I hate everything about it. I hate my body so much that I dont even want to share it with my fiancee. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. But I dont believe it. I tell him to "F off"or "your lying" how does he think im beautiful when I dont see it?? Ive talked to my doctor about it. Ive told her im depressed. But I havent told her everything, as I have a hard time talking about my feelings. My blood test came back that I have hyperthyroidism. I've been  on medication now for a week but im still feeling awful. This must be more than hyperthyroidism. Any advice on my feelings, and how to talk with my doctor. Thanks for taking the time to read my post. xx

[pipsy]

Hi canadiangirl.  May I refer to you as Reill?  Very unusual name you have.  I feel so sad for you and how low you're feeling.  You've tried talking to your Dr but have no idea how to really talk to her.  Sounds like a bit of shyness as well as low self esteem.  Often when we're feeling really 'black' we think no-one could possibly understand something we don't even understand.  What you could try next time you visit Dr, write down everything you're feeling.  You've just been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, not sure what that means so won't ask.  Obviously you're going to have more tests till Dr knows what treatment you need.   It sounds like an over-active thyroid, which would explain the constant tiredness.  Once you're on treatment, hopefully the tiredness will disappear.  My mum had thyroid problems too, but hers made her run around like a headless chook, so I think hers was the opposite of yours.  Dr will explain it better so you can understand.  It could be the medication might take a while to 'kick in'.  If you're still feeling 'yuk' though, go back and talk to the Dr.  Get more information about the thyroid condition.   As I said write down your feelings of depression, which could also partly be because you're naturally frightened of what lies ahead.  You feel terrible about yourself, so therefore can't see what your fiancee  sees.  He still sees the beautiful woman he fell in love with.  We never ever see ourselves as others see us.  If your fiancée goes with you to the Dr, would that help you with feeling better.  Ask him if he would go, you might be surprised.  BB is always here too. 

I'm also going to send you a big hug.

[Elizabeth CP]

Hi Reill,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. As Pipsy said your thyroid problem will be making you feel very tired. Based on my experience feeling tired either causes me to become depressed or exacerbates it.  Overactive thyroid also causes weight loss and you not feeling like doing much is probably due to the fatigue. 

Your doctor may have listened to your symptoms, did the test and found out you have thyroid problems so he now believes he understands what your problem is so gives you medication which may take time to correct the thyroid problem. What he doesn't understand is how this is affecting you mentally. I would go back to him and explain that you are feeling really depressed and unable to cope and ask for a referral to see a psychologist. He should be able to put you on a metal health plan so the visits are covered by medicare.  Having someone to discuss what is happening to you and reassure you that some of your feelings & actions (eg not feeling like doing much) are normal under the circumstances and help you to stop feeling bad about not doing things you think you should. A psychologist can also help you deal with the negative self image you have. 

Obviously keep in contact with your doctor to ensure the treatment for the thyroid problem is effective.

Good luck and also ask your doctor for advice re how you should be caring for yourself at this time. He can advise you on whether you would benefit from extra rest, nutrition or other practical ideas. Then hopefully you can get the extra rest you need without feeling guilty about being lazy. Once your health is improving physically & mentally you can gradually take on some other activities you enjoy.

[White_Rose]

Dear Reill

A warm welcome to Beyond Blue. We are here to help and support you so Please tell us how we can best do that. You have already had two great replies which I hope are useful to you. It's hard to battle depression and a long term physical illness at the same time so it is important to manage your health as a priority.

Depression alone is so debilitating that it can make you feel like not bothering about anything else. To get the best help and support from your doctor you do need to be as open as possible as Elizabeth has explained. I often suggest you copy and print your post above and take it with you to your GP. Or print the whole thread if you think it would be helpful. Give the copy to her to read. It's so much easier than trying to explain verbally.

Once your GP knows how truly dreadful you feel she can ask you questions which will help you to further open up. It is hard to tell someone, especially if you have a tendency to burst into tears as I do when describing my life.

It's good you and your GP know about your hyperthyroidism as this will help her prescribe medication for your depression, if required, which does not clash with the other medication. As I understand it, medication for hyperthyroidism takes a while to become effective, though I imagine that by now you will be feeling some slight improvement.

Your doctor will know how much your hyperthyroidism is affecting your mood and it may be that when your medication kicks in full time your depression will go away. Now that would be nice. Talk to your doctor about this as she may feel you don't need antidepressants at all. It may be a case of waiting until the other meds take over.

Allow yourself to be unwell for a while. I know what it's like to run a home and care for children. I have four children, now all grown up and left home, and I had glandular fever when they were young. I was exhausted. Eventually I realised I could only do so much each day and if the housework was not done, well too bad. And I hated seeing things not done. Tell your children you are not well. I presume your husband already knows. Ask them to help you by putting away their toys etc, do the little things they can manage and this will help you enormously. Try to explain your feelings about yourself to your husband and ask him for help in the house. It really is true that you will recover more quickly if you first let yourself be unwell. Sounds silly I know but you must rest now to get well again.

Please write in again.

Mary