Worried about my husband

[Olly123]

Hi, my husband of 10 years has shut down. Hes no longer on antidepressants. He stopped after 16 years of use approx 12 months ago. He was doing really well off them but i dont know if this just a brief sadness or something to worry about. He hasnt worked for 10 years. His self worth is terrible im sure. He recently joined the rfs after the bushfires. He was going well but a long standing knee injury has been finalky diagnosed as a stage 3 chronial fissure which is pre osteoarthritis. Hes 35. Since he seen the dr about his knee hes quit rfs and wont talk anymore. I begged him to and he says he has nothing to say. Im concerned he'll hurt himself. He said thanks for caring. How do i get him to talk. Im worried.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Olly123,

It's really understandable that you're worried about your husbands well-being and it can be challenging trying to support someone in a distressed state. It is a situation you absolutely need support with, so good on you for reaching out.
 
We would first recommend getting him to his GP for further support. If he's are not able to see a GP, you can seek more immediate help by contacting your local Mental Health Team at their nearest hospital or supporting them in attending the Emergency Department. If you feel he's not able to keep himself safe from self-harm or suicide, this is an emergency and you need to call 000 immediately.

If you are struggling to take these steps please call us on our 24/7 Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or speak to us on email or Webchat (3pm – 12am) at http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support and we can help connect you to the right support. You can also contact the Suicide Call Back Service 24/7 on 1300 659 467 for support for both yourself and your husband.

[Croix]

Dear Olly123~

I'm glad Sophie_M was here to greet you, her advice and recommendations are spot on.

Going off medication after so long will often have unpredictable results as many have found (me included). One feels OK for an extended period and gets to thinking the medication is not necessary. Later one finds out it was and going off them has set things back quite a bit.

Perhaps that was the case here. It is also very unfortunate that since you have been married he has been unable to work. Do you know the reason for this? It's also realy frustrating after going to the RFS and joining his body let him down, at such a young age it would be a great hurdle to try to overcome.

I'd suggest that he really needs to see his doctor over his current mental state, as well as withdrawing from his antidepressants. Do you think you might be able to persuade him? If not is there anyone that can? Even someone from the RFS, after all not all jobs are active, radio operator springs to mind.

Turning to you for a moment, your life, which I'm sure has not been that easy living with someone who has depression long term, is now under even more stress, added to the worry he might harm himself.

As Sophie says, facilities such as the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) can be a welcome source of sensible advice and comfort for you (you do not need to be suicidal to ring), and you can call on them more than once.

May I ask do you have any personal support, family or a friend perhaps? Being able to talk about things and get care and a different perspective can be a real help. When I was in a bad state my wife had her mum.

Please feel you are welcome here anytime

Croix