what happens after you care for a family member?

[Canucky]

Anyone out there feeling lost after looking after a family member?

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Canucky...

Welcome...I cared for my children until they left home and now have lives of there own...then I nursed and cared for my late husband through his battle with cancer 7 years ago...

Suddenly I was on my own...I didn’t know how to care for me..because I always put my family first...

I was very lost for the first few years and well still feel lost at times...

I have 2 little fur babies..dogs that I now care for and they help fill that void of being alone...also looking for things to keep busy..volunteering yourself for a charity...finding things you like to do...

Its a whole new life when the person you cared for is no longer around....

Im sorry this has happened to you..

Here for you Canucky..if you feel to talk more about you feeling lost...

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Grandy..

[Guest_4643]

Hey Canucky, welcome to the forums.

I can relate to a certain extent with what you're talking about. Sometimes I look after my Mum, as I live with my Parents. I try and do what I can, but my Dad mostly looks after both of us too. I feel like a real burden on them. You're not alone, thank you for caring and looking after your family members.

[Canucky]

Hi Grandy

thank you for your reply and sharing your story. Sorry about your husband.

I actually looked after both parents until my mum past away.....thats a few years now but still have a hard time with it sometimes. My dad is in a home now because i couldnt help him with his medical issues but i felt bad about putting him in.....i understand now it was for the best.

I must say some people you have known for a while treat you a little different when your caring and sometimes loose touch with each other. I guess no one really knows the isolation of it until they actually become a carer.

Things will get better i know this, but thank you for your kind words

Canucky

[Canucky]

Hi mb20lover

Thanks for the welcome!

Yes looking after parents especially is hard. I believe they brought us into the world, fed and nurtured us so it is only right to pay forward the care. It hasn't been all plain sailing though especially the demands of caring for someone can be both emotionally and physically. Carers are special and dont lose sight of that.

Don't consider yourself a burden, they love having you there and your help is much appreciated, but take time out for yourself!!

Canucky

[Guest_4643]

That's true, and thank you Canucky

[Ggrand]

Dear Canucky,

I can understand about friends treating you differently..I think it’s because they don’t understand the love you have for your parents is stronger then the bind of friendship..and feel sort of left out.....So true dear Canucky, people don’t understand unless they have been a carer for someone in their family....

It would have been hard for you to see your father being placed in a nursing home..as you said..it’s the best place for him with 24/7 care...

Please don’t feel bad about your father in a home...His medical issues will be looked after and you know that he is safe in their...You can always visit him when you feel up to it..and take him small little gifts..like magazines or books he likes to read..little treats that he’s allowed to have and enjoy your time with him, when you can...

Talk here anytime you feel up to it Canucky...we are here for you to help support you through this hard journey your on right now...

Yes things will get better, always remember that your very welcome to talk here about whatever you feel like..no pressure..

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Grandy..

[Kelly2021]

I recently lost my mum and have never felt so alone . My heart is broken . I just get up every day and hope that one day I won’t hurt so much

[Guest_4643]

I'm so sorry for your loss Kelly2021, and welcome to the forums. We're here for you.

[Canucky]

Hi Kelly2021

Sorry for your loss, it is traumatic and it does get better over time. I lost my mum 8 years ago this year and at times my thoughts lead to tears. Mum's are wonderful and are there for us no matter what that's why it hurts so much. I keep thinking about all the wonderful times i had with her rather than the illnesses she had. They may be gone but they will live in our hearts forever.

be kind to yourself

Came back for a chat if you need to

Canucky