Unwell wife

[Aussietor10]

First time on this board so bear with me.

My wife was diagnosed with OCD and post natal depression after the birth of our boy 3 years ago. She went onto medication, which appeared to help her. About 2 years ago we decided to try for our second baby. 2 miscarriages and 3 very challenging IVF cycles later (while not being on her medication) we have still not had any success. The challenges of the last couple of years seemed to have culminated with a significant 'episode' which started about a week ago. Her OCD went into overdrive resulting her accusing me of something (which is horrifying to me and completely untrue). She realizes this is her illness but can't  get it under control. She slipped into a pretty dark place a couple of days ago, so we decided to go to the GP. He prescribed some anti-anxiety medication but said it will take 5-7 days to kick in with things most likely to get worse before they get better.  She is seeing a counsellor at the moment (with very little improvement from where I stand).  I feel we need to see an actual psychiatrist for some more  help.

We have an incredibly supportive family and fantastic child - so I think we are trying to do the right things to get on top of it.

However, I am really struggling myself (particularly after the miscarriage which really knocked me around) and don't know where to turn. Her thought which triggered the recent episode, while being completely illogical, untrue and ridiculous involved me and is quite sensitive - to the point were feel I can't talk about it to anyone about it.  I want to be strong for my wife and son but feel this is also eating me up inside too.

[geoff]

dear Aussietor, firstly losing a baby by a miscarriage wouldn't be a pleasant experience for the both of you, and I'm so deeply sorry for this.

The combination of having PND and OCD also is a very difficult combination, let alone just by having one is bad enough, but the both of them does increase her OCD ten fold.

I've had OCD for 54 years and I realise what this means for her but also for you.

Have you thought about her seeing a psychologist where cognitive therapy could be used, I feel as though they are more friendly and approachable, it's just that I have used both, but I dropped the psychiatrist because it was like talking to a brick wall, no emotions what's ever, and this is something that your wife would need.

I also believe that you should also see someone, because you need to talk, because if you don't then it will become all bottled up, and eventually it will be become too much for you.

The help that is required won't be instant, I'm sorry to say, it's just that it takes time for the counsellor, which ever you decide to choose, has to unravel all that's happening, plus your wife has to gain confidence in them, and this also applies to yourself.

I wish it was going to be an easy road ahead for the both of you, but it will take some time, but with the help it will improve much better.

If you want to talk about her OCD then please do so, and I also really hope that you keep posting as there are so many wonderful and caring people on this site, and many of these people are personally struggling themselves with depression and OCD, but they are lovely to still reply to other people seeking help, and this forum wouldn't survive without them. Geoff.