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Supporting a friend with depression
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Recently my really close friend confessed to me while she was drunk that she has depression, and that she has been seeing a psychologist/therapist (I'm not really sure which), but that it's not helping at all. My friend is one of the most caring and kind and smart people I've met, she gets good grades and has an amazing boyfriend and friends apart from me who all love her. Despite all this I always could tell she wasn't feeling 100%, and sometimes she would have breakdowns during school and I'd spend an hour or two with her trying to help in any way I could, however she never told me what was up until now. I'm not sure the details about why she has depression, and I guess sometimes it's really difficult to explain those things anyway, but I just really want to help her and I'm not sure how to go about it. I've done some research and I came across this forum thing, and thought it was worth a shot. At the time she told me about her depression I tried my best to reassure her that she's an amazing person and that we all love her etc, but I was hoping someone on here would have some tips or at least some advice on how to go about supporting my friend.
I just feel so helpless in this situation because I don't know what to do, any advice would be really appreciated.
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Hi harrystyles,
Welcome to the forums! We're so grateful that you have reached out here to our friendly community tonight. It sounds like your friend is going through a really tough time at the moment, but she sounds very lucky to have such a caring friend like yourself. Please know that you've come to a safe space and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need.
If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend getting in touch with our Support Service which is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or you can visit on our website www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport for online chat. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to give you some information and advice to help you and your friend.
You might also find some helpful advice on our page "Supporting Someone with a Mental Health Condition": https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anx...
We hope that you find some comfort here in the words of wisdom and kindness that our community can offer.
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It sounds like you are being a great friend just by listening to her and reaching out to see what else you can do.
Listening to your friend and trying not to minimise her feelings is important. By that I mean, don't say "everyone feels like that", or "you just need to focus on happy stuff." Unfortunately depression is something we can't control. Knowing that our friends will stand by us can be really helpful.
It's also important that you look after yourself and don't take her problems on. If it gets too heavy or hard, you could get help for yourself too.
Thanks for being such a good friend.
Kind thoughts, Jess