Struggling to remain supportive

[Waiting_2_exhale]

My son 21 and is totally dependent on me in every way.He constantly says he needs drugs to help him escape from life because he has severe anxiety. He wont get a job because he has no confidence and says he will bash anyone that pisses him off. Wont drive cos he is worried about causing an accident. He has been on so many different anti depressants and anti psycotic medications but will not take them consistently, has been on SSRI but now refuses to take them because he said they dont help, are making him fat and take too long to work. He is now obsessed with getting medication as he thinks they are faster acting and will help. He gets another medication on the streets and completely loses his mind when he cant get them but at the same time he takes so many when he does have them he goes into phycosis and he forces me to help him through. He refuses to go to hospital and says will kill anyone who tries to lock him up. This usually lasts about 3 or 4 days. He doesnt sleep, complains that no one helps him but will not accept any help. He wakes me at night saying he needs to talks and then rants and raves for hours blaming me for all his problems. I feel terrified as he wont let me leave for hours even though I have to go to work the next day. He hates me working and rings constantly to ask when I will be home or to tell me he hates his life and wants to die. Honestly it is wearing me down and making me a nervous wreck. I'm now at the point where I actually try and avoid him when he is in a mood. After so many years of trying to talk sense to him, I just dont know what to say anymore, which makes him more furious and he says Im not helping and I make him worse. I cant win and dont know what to do or how much longer I can do this. I work and go home, no socialising because I cant relax and enjoy myself because he is always at the back of my mind, worrying is mood. I feel completely trapped, sorry this is so long and rambling but I cant think straight anymore.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Waiting 2 exhale,
  Welcome to the forums! We're so grateful that you have reached out here, we know that it is not an easy thing to do, but it is so important that you have. We're really sorry to hear what you are going through with your son at the moment. It sounds like you are a very caring parent. Please know that you've come to a safe space to talk about these thoughts and feelings and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need.

We'd strongly recommend getting in touch with our Support Service which is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or you can visit on our website www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport for online chat. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to give you some information and advice to help you.

It's concerning that you're feeling trapped. It might be worth getting in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.

If at any time you are concerned for your own safety, or your son's, please do call 000 (triple zero) if it is safe to do so.

We hope that you keep checking back in with us to let us know how you are going, whenever you feel up to it.