New to the Group, in support of partner....

[Lost4words]

Hi everyone,

I am feeling overwhelmed with the fact my husband wants me to help and support him- but when I want to see a dr about it he runs for the hills. It has only become a lot more serious lately after him telling me "he can't do this anymore" and he thinks about doing something to himself so we will get his insurance payout etc. Which absolutely guts me and saddens me to think he is thinking to do that.

I don't help the situation because a lot of the time I am speechless and don't know how to reply-I just shut down. I have to tread on eggshells around him because he does take almost everything personally and negatively. He also has a relationship with alcohol and drinks daily , easily almost 700ml bottle of spirits to escape his feeling and worries but he then is on the war path to put me down and place a lot of the blame on me. I am also feeling really tired of his verbal abuse towards me - I practically do everything -when I have been beside him for the past 13yrs. It hasn't been easy at all.

I just want him to see he doesn't have to do it alone and get past the stigma. There have been times when I want to leave because the lack of respect and love hoping if he gets the help and support he needs we might have a chance. But I know this is the time he needs me the most. I need help to help him. Do I ask him to make an appointment, or do I just make it myself and just take him. Because I think he expects me do it all- since he blames me for the way he feels. Sorry for the long post.

[white knight]

Hi L4W

Ok there is something you can try.

I'd tell him I'm going to my GP (or marriage guidence councillor) to learn if thete is anything I can do to cope with his behaviour including his talk of suicide.

If he comes along great. Ig he doesnt all is not lost, you might learn something worthwhile.

If he doesnt go with you then when you return home dont tell him what was said after all he had his chance to go....and he can go next time.

This is not a game it just sounds like it. Suicides out number the national road toll and its mostly men that carry it out.

Here are a few threads you can read. Use google

Topic: is there room for stubborness- beyondblue

Topic: can you force people?- beyondblue

Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue

Topic: depression and sensitivity, a connection?- beyondblue

Topic: anyone with suicidal thoughts? Please read this- beyondblue

All the best. Repost anytime. We are here for you

Tony WK