My partner has PTSD and Anxiety and I find it challenging at times!!!

[BelindaD]

I've completed a cert4 in mental health so I'm aware of some things but it's different when it's directed at you? How can I cope personally while supporting him and helping him get through his issues. I have been able to 'sort him out' by being direct about his 'lashing out' on me and telling him not to direct it on me when someone else is the reason for his 'explosion'. I see things clear but how do I reach him and help him to see clearly? Some medications he has been on made him worse but thankfully he no longer is on those type of drugs.....My patience gets thin at times and I want to walk away from the relationship.... I'm stuck between a rock and hard place?  If I can understand this better maybe I will be able to help him more and be more patient.

[Jacko777]

Hi Belinda,

I know exactly what you are saying, we think we understand someone's condition but when we are attacked it is really hard not to 'react.' You have feelings too and you can't always be his rock, maybe you don't have to walk away from the relationship but sometimes I think it's okay to walk away from a fight that is based around symptoms stemming from his condition.

You are his partner, not his doctor, just because you have a greater understanding doesn't mean you can 'fix' him however you can be a great supporter, point out when he is not being himself and prompt him to seek help when you think he needs it. There are lots of resources for 'carers' on this site, no doubt you will find some good ideas there and I hope others here will have more. Look after your self and talk any time.

Jack  

[Kennaugh8]

Hi Belinda,

PTSD can be a very challenging thing to deal with as the person suffering is trying to suppress and avoid the feelings and thoughts that they associate with the traumatic event. I understand that it can be really hard to cope with as a carer and at times you may feel like you want to walk away but with the right type of help and the support of loved ones, it is possible to overcome PTSD. If you are able to understand and recognise some of your partners cues that cause them stress and anxiety, you may be able to help them avoid those feelings or to a lesser degree. 

Have you suggested seeing a psychologist to work through the trauma and anxiety? Being able to confront and recognise those fears is the hardest step but with the help of a professional, your partner can be safely guided through some cognitive and exposure techniques to assist with coping and overcoming the trauma. 

Whilst you may have a greater understanding of some mental health issues with your Cert 4, it is more important for you to be the support for your partner and to use your knowledge to help yourself. Being a carer can be a difficult and stressful time so it is also important for you to have support around you when you need it.

If you haven't had a look already, here is a link to the Beyond Blue page for PTSD which can give you a bit more information and understanding: 

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ptsd

You can also call someone at the Beyond Blue chatline or reach out through these forums, just know that you don't have to do this alone and there is always someone willing to listen or help. 

Chris

[pimmento]

Hello Belinda, I have actually been where you are.  It is a road  traveled by many, we just support our loved ones and the signs are there with PTSD, it can be a traumatic experience for the carer.  The important thing is that you also look after yourself.  If you say that you were able to express to your partner that it was not acceptable that he lashes out at you and he listened that is a good thing.  If you could encourage him to take the steps towards balancing his life out by contacting a therapist, counselor or psychologist to help him understand himself better then that would be a good step to take. I see that others have said this to you in this forum, so I am hoping that you get back here and tell more of your story.  pimmento.

[BelindaD]

Jacko, I tried to be supportive and use what I know to my advantage but you got a mix of PTSD, anxiety and it was really hard. I think he  was giving me barriers  to climb at every turn and I  just couldn't climb anymore. my mh was slipping (I got my own barriers too!!).  It might be a cop out but I addressed it with him and his replies told me volumes (I'm in the way), I had to end the 18mth relationship...there was so much more going on than I can put into words but I think he wanted out so I went out. My mh is recovering now 🙂

[BelindaD]

He has always being seeing a  doctor for his issues and I have helped and supported him through many bad times but in the end it wasn't meant to be. My mh was really declining so for my own health I had to go and hopefully he finds what he needs too.

Thanks for your reply

[BelindaD]

Hi Pimmento, I tried and was supportive but I think his anxiety was the hardest thing in the end? I've said somethings above which will help you key in some pieces but I had to end the relationship as it was not right. I think he wanted out anyway and hopefully he is happier this way. His anxiety and PTSD made him attack my character etc and I wasn't going to allow such things. It's so hard to describe how things went and how he twisted so much in his mind and how I always came out being a Bit**. I didn't want to play the 'support worker' role anymore so now my mh can slowly recover. Thanks for your post