My girlfriend has depression and I need help

[Caidsf]

Firstly Hi,

My girlfriend and I started dating on the 19th of March 2014, we love each other very much, but she has depression, which sadly ruins us, I love her and stay up to talk to her but some nights I'm not enough and she self Harms, her parents don't allow her to date, thus they don't know about this, they also don't believe in depression, I love her and my life is easier with her, I too have a minor case but she helps me with it but it seems I don't help her, I know telling her parents is a good idea but what if they say no? We would have to break up, I can't take risk of losing her, for myself or herself 

[Jacko777]

Hi Caidsf,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, I am glad you have posted.

Perhaps you could get your girlfriend to call the BB phone service (number below), they will give her professional support and advice. It's free and 24/7. I think they will have some ideas that will take into consideration your girlfriend's parents but most importantly her recovery.

You can't expect to have all the answers for her, I presume you are not a mental health professional. I would never have worked out what was wrong with me had I not found some professional help. Your girlfriend will benefit from taking some steps towards recovery by seeking help, she can't be expected to fix it on her own and you are there as her greatest supporter. You could check out the resources on this site for 'carers' to see if you can pick up some tips.

Your girlfriend will be safe ringing Beyond Blue, perhaps you can go with her to make the call. Keep us posted.

Jack

[geoff]

dear Caidsf, hi and welcome to the forum.

It seems as though your 'caught between a rock and a hard place' in this situation, and would suggest to take Jacko's advice and ring BB, however before you do I would feel that to suggest or mention this to her parents is going to backfire on her, simply they don't want her to date, and secondly they don't believe in depression, so they must be very strict.

They will also be infuriated that she is self harming, and then believe that the relationship has caused this, plus it has also caused her to get depression, but their understanding of depression is that she must shake it off and get on with her life, and that nobody can get this illness if their mind is focused on what they are trying to achieve.

If they know that you have depression they will then want her to end the relationship and then endeavour to force her away, away from you.

So my belief is that it would not be wise to go down that road.

I can't say what the counsellors on the BB line will say to her, but I would expect that they will want her to see a doctor who will pass her on to a psychologist, but that's up to them to discuss.

Another alternative is for the both of you to go and see your doctor who will then help her and you. Geoff.