Beti,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us here, welcome. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with feelings of loneliness and depression, I hope you know that your feelings are justified in this situation.
Have you spoken to your partner about your feelings? They may be able to give you some valuable insight or advice to help you feel better. It can also be therapeutic to share your feelings with somebody, as it helps you to release all that built-up emotion in a healthy and productive way.
In terms of avoiding saying things you regret, I completely understand, this can be difficult to do, especially when trying to navigate your emotions internally. Perhaps if you feel yourself saying something potentially regrettable, take a moment to close your eyes or breathe in, or maybe give your partner's hand a little squeeze and they can take over the conversation or divert the attention elsewhere. This can help you to think logically and clearly about what you're about to say.
When I'm feeling upset or angry or disappointed with somebody else's behaviour, one thing that really helps me is typing or writing out exactly what I would love to say but would never have the courage to say due to the consequences. It's quite therapeutic, and can help you pinpoint exactly what you're feeling.
I hope this helps, please feel free to continue chatting with us if you feel comfortable doing so, as we'd love to hear more from you.
All the best, SB
