Husband has agreed to see a psychiatrist but won't get a referral

[Kezv]

Hi. My husband had a heart attack last year at age 29 and has suffered from depression over the last year. This has affected him not working for bouts of 3 months, not talking to his friends and family for weeks at a time when he is depressed. He has now agreed to see a psychiatrist to get medicated but refuses to see a GP to get the referral. I rang the specialist rooms and they won't see him without a referral. The GP won't give him a referral without seeing him and his cardiologist wouldn't give him a referral.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

[CrashCoyote]

Hi Kezv,

Thank you for posting. I lost a friend at your husband's age to heart problems and am assuming he has a history of heart problems in the family. He is way to young to just have an attack.

Unfortunately, he must want to help himself.

I was a policeman for a long time and there are very strong laws in place in N.S.W. (and no doubt other jurisdictions) to protect people from being forced to have treatment or be detained for mental examination. This is a good thing as we couldn't have people being "committed" on the whim of law enforcement or medical staff.

Unless your husband is a danger to himself or others AND displays evidence of that, there is little that can be done.

Perhaps he has friends that can talk to him if he is too proud to seek help, or even ask if he is willing to web chat here or call the 1300 number.

I am sorry I don't have a solution, but in response to your question, "Does anyone have any suggestions?" these are the only viable alternatives I can think of.

Kind regards, John.

[white knight]

Hi Kezv, welcome to beyond blue forums

People with mental illness seek medical help for their well being, but most also get it for the sake of their family and friends.

Please do a search and read  "Caring for the carer".  Because that thread covers basic obligations for the mentally ill towards their carers. If you didnt know it- you are the carer.

He should be responsible and that means loving you. There is no place for stubbornness with mental illness.

Tony WK

[CrashCoyote]

Hi (again) Kezv,

I forgot to mention, does your husband know that seeing a psychiatrist does not automatically mean being medicated? The thought of being on meds can be very frightening to many people.

The psychiatrist has other tools in his tool box and will listen to your husbands views on treatment and give him realistic options. Something as simple as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) usually done with a psychologist.

Is your husband prepared to get a referral to see a psychologist? They are not generally doctors so cannot prescribe meds. He may feel more comfortable with that.

Kind regards, John. 

[geoff]

dear Kezv, well I can't offer any more than what John and Tony have said, but he's at a young age too young to have a heart-attack, but you have to convince him that he does need to see his doctor.

Surely his cardiologist would have sent his doctor a letter on how he is going and what has happened, so I'm sure that he/she would like to see him, so basically he has no other option. L Geoff. x

[Beltane]

is it the stigma of seeing a psychiatrist perhaps? many cases of depression and anxiety can be dealt with by a general practitioner and a therapist (for the therapy part). as someone already mentioned, antidepressants arent the only treatment for depression- therapy is very successful for many people. some people do need medication, but he can always try therapy first and see how he goes. and he might not be on meds forever- many people recover and come back off them after a year or or so.

i've had depression/ anxiety diagnosed for 3 years now. a general doctor diagnosed me and has always dealt with my medications, and they referred me to a counsellor/ psychologist for therapy. only now after 3 years am i seeing a psychiatrist and thats ONLY because i have a liver problem that means its difficult to find a medication for me that doesnt damage my liver, so the GP needs a specialist to  make sure we get the one that wont hurt my liver.

as my GP said- there is an extremely long waiting list for psychiatrists, and general doctors are trained in diagnosing and treating depression/ anxiety and are very effective at doing so. so a psychiatrist might not even be necessary!
that may help him feel better? its a little less of a stigma to just go to your doctor then to see a "psychiatrist"- sometimes that concept just carries so much stigma! and it might be a little less hard for him to just take it one step at a time- try not to get too far ahead and think "oh god i need medications and i need a psychiatrist and this and that". just take a deep breath and think "ok, i'll just see my doctor and see a therapist, and then i'll go from there".

[Snoman]

Hi Kezv,

There is a great web site aimed at helping men feel its ok to seek help.  You can find a link to the Dr Brian Ironwood's Man Therapy web site from Beyond Blue's home page (just under the big image there is a row of smaller images - click the Man Therapy one).  It might be worth getting your husband to have a look at it.

If your husband learns more about depression, he might feel less anxious about seeking help.  He needs to accept his condition in order to do something about it.

Would he see the GP if you went with him?  Going to the GP and talking about depression the first time can be very difficult.

The first time I went, my wife had an appointment that she could let me take instead as we wanted to ask stuff about our kids.  That worked as a good opening excuse to get me in there.  Then I found it impossible to tell the GP "I think I have depression" but instead I managed to say "my wife thinks I might have depression".  I could only say that much because I knew my wife would be hounding me and send me right back with no opening excuse to be there.

Sno