How can I help my obese husband

[vp82]

I’m really lost now. My husband is overweight and I don’t know how to help him. He eats rubbish all the time.

One day something will happen, his organs won’t work properly.. I don’t know.

We have a 3y/o daughter and I’m scared 

he know the weight is out control but looks like he’s given up and he doesn’t care.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

Being overweight myself I've got what I think is a measured view on this topic.

Obesity means a combination of lack of will power, hereditary factors, temptation and a cyclic rotation of all factors. It's not complicated, it just near impossible to overcome without medical and/or surgical intervention.

Most certainly a GP visit can be more than beneficial.  I would also suggest that talking won't help in fact such is this impossible fight within him, he could easily begin resenting you.

There has been many breakthroughs recently in the medical world you could investigate. In the meantime "let's go for a walk" would be much more preferable than "that's junk food". 

Finally, like giving up an addiction, you'll have to wait for it to arrive, you can't rush it. Hence the medical options are more realistic.

Good luck.

TonyWK 

[FGe]

Hi VP82, I was pretty much the same. Recently, I discovered that chewing my food (any food) well is showing promising results. 

[quirkywords]

Tony and Fge have given you, vp82, some helpful suggestions. I was overweight for many years and I found focusing on health and not weight helped. 
You are not alone and we are listening. 

[therising]

Hi vp82

I've found getting to the bottom of why people overeat (myself included) can be the start to making some difference.

Once an emotional drinker, I'm now more so an emotional eater. While there's the addiction side of things (hits of dopamine etc to the brain), being addicted to the joy found in chocolate, the bliss found in pizza and so much more makes it all such an emotional thing. COVID lockdowns here in Melbourne made trips to the junk food aisle at the local supermarket the highlight of my days. Managing down (depression) means looking for up (a high). So, it can be such a chemical, psychological and even soulful experience in a way (binging to get the high or sense of connection to life).

Another factor I faced about 8 years back involved sleep apnea. I was overeating something shocking. It felt absolutely compulsive to the point where I really began to question it, as well as questioning the fatigue I was experiencing. Basically, all I felt I could really do was sit on the couch and eat sugary high energy foods. When I spoke to the specialist who treated me, she said 'People will typically either go for a lot of sugary foods or loads of caffeine because the body's craving the kind of energy it's not getting from good restorative sleep'. Perhaps sleep apnea is something worth looking into.

Then there's the 'What's easier?' factor. What's easier - to face preparing healthy snacks, eating good meals and getting a bit of exercise each day or opening a pack of something you absolutely love? I think, when we don't have a lot of energy, the changes have to be really simple to start with. They have to be so simple to the point where we can think 'I can manage that'. One simple minute of walking around the back yard each day is not a big call. Next week, 2 or 5 minutes may feel easily achievable. That also works out to be 1, 2 or 5 minutes of not eating. A simple sense of achievement is a form of inspiration. 'I'm an achiever' is a mantra that can begin to change the inner dialogue that can sound like 'I'm absolutely hopeless'.

Personally, I've got a number of triggers for eating rubbish.