Help for my son

Mumneedshelp · ‎19-03-2017

Hi everyone. I have no idea where to start to get help for my son. He is not in any immediate danger to himself or others at the moment but has posted something on social media that alarmed his family very much. Where do I start to get some help? Who do I speak to first?

Any type of information would be very greatful

thank you

Croix · ‎19-03-2017

Dear Mumneedshelp~

Thanks for coming here. I can feel the worry and confusion you feel at the moment. A mother has a special relationship with her children and needs to help and be there for them, I understand.

I'm afraid you don't really say enough in your post for us to have a really meaningful conversation. While I could guess at what's wrong I don't think that should be the way to go.

May I suggest you post again and say some more. What your son said, his circumstances - if he has troubles or worries at the moment - your relationship with him, his age, your family and so on.

If he is under any treatment and anything else you think might be relevant. As a rule of thumb the more information then the more accurate the advice can be - bearing in mind there are many here who have had all sorts of experiences and now want to use them to help others.

In the meantime there is wealth of information on various problems and illnesses contained in The Facts menu above - why not have a look?

Please post again, you will be met with care and understanding

Croix

MsPurple · ‎19-03-2017

Hi Mumneedshelp

Welcome to the forums. It is great you are trying to help your son. How old is he? There are different services for different age groups this is why I am asking. There are some CAHMS teams and headspace for youth aged. I suggest you talk to your GP about your concerns. If you son is under 16 then you could book an appointment with them about your concerns (talk to your son about it before the appointment as it would be too confronting doing it with the dr first.). Give the son and the dr time to be alone for a bit if that's what your son or the doctor suggest. Try talk to your son about your concerns and try open up some dialect. Talking to your doctor first may be helpful as they maybe able to give you advice on how to talk to him about it. I also suggest you look up a youtube video called the black do by world health organisation. It will help give you more insight. They also have a videos for caregivers that would really be helpful

Hope this helps. My mum helped me out heaps when I struggled with mental health in your youth. Keep trying and you can do your best.

Mumneedshelp · ‎21-03-2017

Hi and thank you for replying. I have contacted the mental health team and they will contact my son. There are a few problems with my boy and I can't go in to too much sorry. The posts on social media were about not wanting to be here and what's the use of living. He is 25 and has depression but won't do anything about it. He says he's fine and will sort it but he's been trying to sort it for a long time now. He is a pot smoker and also has used ice and other drugs. I was told by his younger brother that he is trying to get back in to selling ice and will end up a user again and back in jail. He was on remand for a while until we went to high court to get him released on high bail. Some charges were dropped and fines issued for others. There is another serious issue but can't say in here sorry, that we need to keep on top of as well.

Croix · ‎21-03-2017

Dear Mumneedshelp~

I'm very sorry to hear all that. Please don't apologize for not gong into detail - that's fine.

I also have the strong feeling the you son is one thing, you, your younger son and the rest of your family could be another.

Whatever happens you need strength and the ability to make sound decisions despite the anxiety and pressures that face you.

Do you have anyone to support you? Even someone that cares for you and can just talk can be a great relief. You sound as if you have a better relationship with your younger son if he is prepared to say what's truly happening with his brother. Does he live with you?

As far as the legal system is concerned, you are helping your son to the max already, and by alerting the mental health team you have probably gone as far as you can there too for the moment.

Unfortunately adult children have to want things themselves for matters to happen properly. You can get the team there, but he has to want to cooperate for it to do any good. Also, sad to say, ice is most dangerous.

Does he have anyone he holds in high esteem or in affection who might be able to dissuade him from financing use via sales? Similarly anyone who might make him want to try to work with the health team? A girlfriend perhaps?

MsPurple has given some good advice about your GP and also some references that could help. You may also find looking at some of the threads in the Caregivers Section may show others in similar situations.

I do know that many have become somewhat wild in their youth and have later come back to parents with appreciation for they love and concern they showed , even if it was not responded to at the time.

You have my best wishes

Croix