TLDR; my girlfriend gets anxious about seeing me and it’s frustrating because I want to see her all the time, like people do in relationships normally.
I (19) recently got a girlfriend (18). We've been dating 2.5 months & started dating just as the coronavirus restrictions came into place, so saw each other in person for a few dates and then quarantine started. We video call every night for hours and in the morning before our day starts and text throughout the day. This was perfect for quarantine because we couldn’t see each other easily, maybe every 2 weeks, so I was happy to see her infrequently but talk to her heaps online. She’s super extroverted and confident, but has quite bad anxiety and gets anxious about actually seeing me in person.
Now that quarantine is over we're allowed to see each other freely, & say I haven’t seen her in a week & I ask to come over to her house, she won’t explicitly say no & it’s more like ‘yeah … I guess you can come over’, & she is rarely super enthusiastic & very indecisive when organising dates & stuff. It’s not that she doesn’t want to see me, she really does, but her anxiety gets the better of her & it can be sort of awkward because she doesn’t really want me to come over but can’t communicate her feelings to say no. She says she knows she should see her girlfriend & really wants to see me, but her anxiety doesn’t allow for that & says I shouldn’t have to deal with this sort of stuff & that she’s a bad girlfriend for not wanting to see me.
On one hand I agree with her about this, but all relationships have their struggles & maybe for us this is ours. All I want to do is be with her all the time, but I'm conflicted because I don’t want to hurt her & make her anxiety worse by seeing her in person. I care about her so much & the last thing I want to do is hurt her, I know how hard it is to deal with anxiety.
What should I do? She refuses to get help from a professional about managing her anxiety, I’ve suggested it & she says she’s always dealt with it herself. Should I talk to her about how hard this is on me? I know I’m coming across as selfish & pissed off, which honestly a part of me is, because I just want to love her & cuddle her & just be there in person with her, is that too much to ask of a relationship? I’m just wondering if this is worth sticking out, maybe it’ll get easier for her over time but there’s also a chance that it won’t. I’m trying my best and I’m super supportive of her but it’s still so hard.
