Friends aren't always there, but family are

[Zebra103]

Hey Guys, 

I have one friend who talked behind my back with her other friend and is toxic to me when in text. Every night she will text "Are we best friends" and "Do u like me or someone else like <it>"

she talks rubbish about ppl and then goes and says, "Did u talk about me", 

She's Always like "Ur mad at me", 

And no, I'm not mad, I've been depressed for around a year now, im always sad, and people have even pointed that out, this one girl said, "Oh she's so depressed, all she does is stare", 

So no, I'm not mad, I'm not mad at anyone, I'm sad you would think that I'm so sad. I haven't been happy for ages, and i just watch life fly by, like I'm watching someone else's memories, i honestly don't think i belong in this world, the only thing that keeps me together is my family, who can relate or am i just weird?

[Croix]

Dear Zebra103~

No I do not think you are in the slightest wierd. For a start you are quite right that family is one thing, and for many can be relied on, and 'friends' (really just acquaintances) in media or texts are a whole lot less.

The person you talk about sounds very superficial and if talks behind your back unreliable too. Not somebody whose actions you need to take to heart.

OK, you have been sad for a long time, and it's reached the stage where you are feeling you don't belong in this world. That's pretty serious stuff, worth the effort to take  action to feel better. Life can change and you an end up enjoying it (yes, I know, hard to believe)

I made a mistake and simply kept going by myself, and that only made things worse over time until it became unbearable. I simply could not make myself feel better. Eventually I asked for assistance and was given therapy and in my case medication too.

Now I"m a different person, no longer sad, enjoy life and do belong.

So can I suggest that you let someone else know, parent, a teacher or councilor, or if you do not want face to face to start with then contact the Kids Help Line (I'm guessing you are under 25). They work 24/7 and have phone, text and circles of young people with similar problems to talk with.

It's a very knowledgeable, understanding and comforting place.

I worry about you sitting there watching what appears to be other people's memories float by and want better for you. So if you felt like it come back and say how you go

Croix