Daughter with anxiety and depression

[Murp]

Hi, my 15 year old daughter has been diagnosed with clinical depression. I will call her E.   E first went to school counsellor, (I made the appointment as I knew something was wrong and E was not coping with things at school, she wouldn't open up to me)  Then to GP and psychologist. All 3 have diagnosed her with clinical depression.   Once a A grade student, she  now can't concentrate to do any school work, not even reading.  E has withdrawn herself from friends. E tells me she doesn't have any friends. E doesn't want to go to school. and has only been able to go a few times a week  E is not sleeping well and spends a lot of  time in her room.

E has just completed 5 sessions with a psychologist. E opened up a little but has now refused to talk because it is not helping (her words).  E is very reserved and does not like opening up to people. E also refuses to take any medication that may be prescribed and does not want to see a GP again or visit a Psychiatrist (this has been recommended)  

I am making an appointment with GP to discuss what to do next. It is so frustrating and I feel so helpless to get her help.

E will not do anything to help herself, she cannot keep going on this way.

The other problem that I have come across with some GP's is the rights of a 15 year old child and its the  decision of the child to make on any further treatment, not mine. 

I am a parent who is trying to help their child get better. Help!  hope this makes sense, am just writing what comes in my mind. 

[ConcernedMother]

HI Murp

I am new tonight to this forum and I know what you are going through. I went through the same with my son. He is now 25, but same thing happened with him.

Around 15 he went from a high achieving young boy into a depressed and sad boy who got angry if I tried to interfere ( his words) and also wont open up to psychologists.

Unfortunately I have no real helpful advise, as my son is still struggling but I hope you find answers and comfort

[Narniakid]

Hi Murp!

Welcome to BB and well done on seeking help - you're doing the right thing taking your daughter to the GP and the psychologist.

From personal experience, when I was first diagnosed with depression, I was extremely hesitant to open up to my mother, in fact, it would make me extremely agitated. I don't know why, because I knew she was just looking out for me, but for some reason I guess I just didn't like feeling weak and vulnerable in front of her. I guarentee deep down she appreciates what you are doing for her, even if she doesn't show it. You're a good parent.

The steps you have taken so far are all in the right direction. What I suggest you do now is read up on the information on depression and anxiety here on BB, and if you can, encourage your daughter to do so as well - being familiar with the symptoms and the triggers will help you both cope with it, and remember that so many of us have gone through or are going through the same thing; you're never ever alone, there is always help. If I were you I'd also read up on the resources for carers of people with depression and anxiety.

Also, make sure your daughter is comfortable with your current psychologist - she will never open up to one if she isn't confident that they'll be able to help her. I went through about 3 or 4 before I found one I really liked, and I've been seeing her for 5 years now, and I've made a remarkable recovery. Just explain to her that it's really important she likes her psychologist and trusts them, otherwise the sessions may not be useful for her and you're just wasting your money.

Good luck, keep up the great work, and don't take you daughter's depression as a personal failure - more often than not, it is a chemical imbalance that can be treated with the appropriate therapy and medication - it does not at all mean you've failed as a parent.

Crystal

[Chris_B]

Hi Murp and ConcernedMother, welcome to the forums.

Below are some threads from other parents in similar situations that you may find useful. Feel free to reach out to other members in these threads:

 Parents dilemma

Mum of young adult suffering from anxiety

17 year old daughter refusing to get help

Mum of teenager with depression - need advice

Mum of a 16yr old with mental health issues. Hoping to connect with other Mums

Need help with my daughter 15

The videos below were made by beyondblue as part of our Have The Conversation series, they're interviews with parents who have coped in these situations too:

1. How to talk about it

2. What to say

3. What to do

[Murp]

Thanks for your response. Very helpful

[coralee]

Hi ive got a 15 year old daughter that has been nauseous for 14 months and hasn't been to school, the thing that is making people believe its a psychological problem is because her sickness starts to subside from 2.45pm and by 3.20pm has completely gone,  i have taken her for numerous blood tests that have all come back normal, have even been to iridologists and a naturopath because i was desperate. She has a BMI of 14 but isn't anorexic, the pediatrician has confirmed this, she is currently in a youth mental hospital to try and find out what is going on, they haven't really given me any answers except that they think its psychological and have been betting her to attend groups in hope that if she gets her mind off her sickness she'll feel better, but it hasn't really helped her, she said she finds it very hard to participate, she can't concentrate at all or do anything they ask, she just sits there even after trying. We are concentrating on getting some weight on her, thinking she'll feel a lot better, but  won't stop the nausea. I feel as a mother, and so does my daughter feel something is going on thats not psychological, we're hoping its her low BMI causing all of this, as she hasn't yet had her first period either, this all started when she started maturing everywhere.  She refuses to go to school because she says she feels sick and can't concentrate, but yet she gets upset because she likes school and really wants to go back, ive asked her if she would like to change schools, but she looks at me and says "why" i like this school. She shows no other signs of anxiety or depression, as soon as shes well after 3, shes straight out the door to friends places, she says shes not depressed even while shes feeling sick, she just wants to get better so she can go back to school. Please if anybody knows someone that has been through this and come out the other side id love to hear from you, as i currently can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. thanks