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At loss part 2

Community Member

So 16 days of pure heart ache and anguish have passed, he is back tomorrow. I’m not sure how things will unfold, I love this man, he has broken me, left me at my most vulnerable and assumes things will be ok when he returns. I’m afraid I’m not strong enough to do this anymore. I’m scared that he will return and decide that we are not what he wants anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I am strong enough for my family to go on. That’s a woman’s way, we just keeping going. But I am so tired of trying to carry this load on my own. I don’t know if I should be passive and listen to what he has to say about our future or just make the choice that will break my heart in the best interests of my family. Or keep trying. He’s my love and my best friend, I just don’t know what to do anymore.

2 Replies 2

Dear saddenedsaint
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums we are so glad that you have made you way here and had the bravery to post. We want you to know that this is a safe space to discuss your thoughts, feelings and experiences and receive honest responses and suggestions from fellow forum users.
We are sorry to hear that you are going through this right now; relationships can be so difficult to navigate at times especially in ones where you have been hurt in some way.  We also understand that the fear of loss can be daunting however know that until you have that conversation with him, you won’t know what you are working with and like you mention, whatever comes your way you will handle it, it’s what you do well; have faith, know your strength and be kind to yourself.  The following resources might be helpful for you to look at while you wait for a response to your post:
Beyond Blue Relationships
Relationships Australia

If ever you feel like you need to talk this through, we are also here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our Webchat Click Here .  Our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it.
We’re sure you will hear from some of our lovely community members here on your thread soon. They’re a really amazing community, and will have understanding, advice and kind words for you.  Thanks again for sharing. It’s a powerful and brave first step towards feeling better.
Sophie M

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Dear saddenedsaint, what a sad situation.


You sound full of mixed emotions. It's hard! 


If you want to talk more about what's been going on, feel free to do so. 


Dealing with the anguish of deep issues in our relationships, which effect our family so much -not only ourselves, is not something you have to do on your own entirely. 


One minute we feel we can't keep going and within a short while we realise, we HAVE TO. 


Extending lots of love and care at this time to you. Hugs.