Adult son anger issues
My 26yr old son, has a speech learning impairment, he looks and is quite bright, but has slow processing, this leads to confusion.
He comes across initially intelligent and confident, carrismatic as well, this is all short lived when expectations overwhelm him, and his go to are anger 😠 outbursts which result in breakingthings.
He blames me for my poor life choices, which have made him how he is...
Condensing a lifetime of trying to survive and navigate this existance, I find I've let him down, I don't plan well clearly.
How to help him ????
Currently living in rented property took a few years of homelessness to get to this point, re inventing myself to have a permanent job, functioning enough to provide safe environment, so he can get himself together. Which I struggle to maintain myself, his siblings avoid him as they see him as a selfish and dope smoking basically.
atm I am fearful of his outbursts, he just lost another job due to a rage incident.
He doesn't listen to me, hasn't for years.
He has not harmed a person or me but, I feel totally lost and bewildered that this beautiful person has this out of control terrifying side.
It's a cry for help 😢 and I don't know how. I've not done life well.
Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.
You are trying so hard to deal with a difficult situation and I am sorry it's taking a toll on you.
Firstly, I want to say that we all make mistakes and sometimes make poor choices but that is how we learn. You have done an amazing job going from homelessness to where you are now and you should be very proud of yourself for all the progress you have made. I don't believe you should be taking on the blame for your son's behaviour, you are doing your best to provide an environment of safety for you both and I believe he needs to recognise that and appreciate you for all you are doing. I also think that you need some support with the situation and wonder if you have friends and family who are able to give you that support.
That being said, your son needs more help than you can give him alone. His anger is most likely born out of frustration and he needs some professional help with learning how to manage this. Has he been to a GP for help with this? Has he been diagnosed? Is he currently getting help from counselling of any type?
You cannot take all of this on yourself, so my suggestion is to reach out to our Beyond Blue helpline and get some advice for yourself and for your son.
This following link will take you to the page that gives you information about what Beyond Blue offers in the way of immediate support
We will also be here to support you if you wish to continue this conversation.