17 year old daughter depression anxiety

[Preston1979]

Hi everyone,
I’m in a bit of a parenting nightmare. My daughter struggles with anxiety and depression and has recently been medicated for this using an SSRI, the first one she had what we though were adverse effects which were losses of massive chunks of memory which we were very frightened over and a doctor switched her to a new one, however in the end we found out that she was drinking alcohol with the SSRI and this can cause memory blackouts and even personality changes.
Going of only the idea she had memory blackouts and not knowing about the alcohol her doctor wants her reviewed for bipolar, no family history and no other indications. However her psychologist said she does not see anything more than anxiety/depression so why would our doctor be referring her? Would this just be to cross all bases? Also would a psychologist that has been seeing my daughter for months now have a better idea than our family doctor who she doesn’t see that often?
I’m also struggling as I am trying not to take on board all of this stress and my daughters own personal worries but I can’t help it, we have other children and it’s not fair on them. My daughter is 17 and 18 early next year, I need to learn to take a step back and let her lead her own life. Any tips on how to do this please? I’ve tried a counselling service but I am so damn head strong is doesn’t help me. I just worried so much about her it’s ridiculous.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Preston1979,

Welcome to the forums and thanks so much for joining us. Full disclosure: I'm not a parent, but I know that this forum is full of parents in the same situation as yourself - so hopefully they'll jump into this thread or you can find theirs.

I'm sorry to hear how much you are all struggling with your daughters mental health. I am glad though that she is seeing a psychologist; is that helping?

I think that the Doctors suggestion may be different if they knew that your daughter was drinking at the time, but at the same time it is not harmful to cover all the bases anyway in getting a 'diagnostic picture'. The more that Doctors and psychologists understand what's happening with your daughter, the better they can be at helping her to cope. While it makes sense the psychologist would know your daughter more than the Doctor, at the same time sometimes a different perspective can be helpful.

It's only normal that you're taking on all this stress and honestly it would be weird if you weren't. You care about your daughter and your concerned for her so naturally you'd be wanting to do everything in your power to help. With your daughters counselling, is there ever family sessions? I know you said counselling on your own wasn't helpful but with family sessions it's much more holistic and about how you can help and be there.

Ironically, one of the best ways to be helpful is to step back - like you said already. Maybe that could look like trusting your daughter in the work she's putting in with the psychologist, or making some time for yourself as part of self-care.

I hope that this helps a little bit. Feel free to browse the supporting family/friends threads to find other ones from parents too.

RT