Dear Iadus~
I'd have to say yes in answer to your question. I have indeed felt life to be pointless, but don't now, far from it. So what's the difference? What's changed - at least for me?
At the time things had got so bad inside myself I was depressed, suicidal and had an anxiety condition as well. Nothing seemed to work and my mind was so full of the negative self-blaming thoughts there was room for anything else. So I too wondered what is the point. At the time I certainly did not realize where these thoughts came from and believed not only were they mine, but irrefutable. No hope.
Later I found they were a symptom, and not mine at all, no matter how convincing or personal.
From the outside not a lot has changed, we are all still mortal as you point out, but inside it is another matter. I was luckier than you have been so far and was able to get hold of competent medical assistance which gradually reduced both my suicidal thoughts and my depression.
I'm not 'cured' but have reached a stage of recovery what I'd not willingly give up life. Depression no longer manufactures thoughts with no hope. I can see more of the world I'm in and some of it is good, even fun. People (and the medical profession) pay attention and I'm able to do things I think are worthwhile - feelings of accomplishment.
You have not had my luck -so far. To be brushed aside by ED (actually the powers-that-be who govern it), or any other avenue you have tried without success will of course make you feel worse, insignificant perhaps. It certainly has for me in the past.
So that our conversation may be more meaningful to you, would you like to say more about you circumstances, and if you have anyone in your life who you can lean on?
I've more I'd like to share but think I've said quite enough for now, I hope we get to talk more
Croix
