Would you and how to tell your GP you self harm?

[LJpd81]

Recently I have been self harming. Im not sure if I'm allowed to say how though. Should I tell my doctor? And if I do , how do I tell her? She is quite approachable and lovely. The idea of telling her that I S/H, fills me with so much anxiety! How do I blurt that out? What would she do? I already am booked for 6 psychologist appointments and I have written it down as one of my reasons for attending. Any advice please?

Thanks very much.

[LJpd81]

Hi so I did end up getting a phone call from my friend. Apparently there was issues with reception. We had a good talk. So there was a reason.

I've felt unwell all weekend and now. This breath test, I had last week, turns out it's an ulcer in my stomach. And it's making me nauseous. So I'm on antibiotics.

So yesterday I went to my doctor and I wrote a letter to her saying that I am still S/H. It was actually quite a bad letter and I said I didn't care and wouldn't stop. Naturally she asked to look at my marks.

She straight away said that I have to go to hospital and see a mental health team. Of course, I was extra anxious to hear this. I said I'm seeing a psychologist, I don't need to go, do I? She printed out a referral and said to go today. She said don't worry. She said just to get checked out. It's confidential and they wouldn't admit me.

I was super scared. I did go. I told my husband I was being checked out. But he doesn't know about me S/H.

I talked to a psychiatrist. He was super nice. We had a chat. He recommended that I take a stronger antidepressant and to try to distract myself when I get the urge. I don't intend to stop.

I'm seeing my psychologist tomorrow morning. She does know.

Also I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow, so will see what happens.

Been sad and down today,unwell, and worried about tomorrow.

[smallwolf]

So you have a little team now... GP, psychologist and psychiatrist. When I became suicidal, shortly after I chatted with my GP I also had a call from my psychologist's office and was referred to a psychiatrist as well. My appointments became more frequent ... to make sure I was OK.

There is a lot going on in your life at the moment and sounds quite stressful. I read that you work at a supermarket. I just want you to know what a wonderful job you are doing in these times. I am not sure what exactly are the things making you anxious but I can guess. Please do not forget how precious and important you are.

[LJpd81]

Thanks very much for this kind reply.
Do you think the psychiatrist would want to see me again? I am showing my doctor today my sores. I feel bad for saying this, but I do not intend to stop S/H. I feel good when I do it.

I woke up so tired today. I went to bed early and read for ages. Woke up at 3.30am and couldn't get back to sleep.
I have woken up still not the best and don't want to deal today and see my psychologist and doctor.
I have decided to ask my doctor for the next week off, until Monday or Tuesday. Mainly as I am sick and can't go to work like this, plus mentally cannot deal.
Thank you Smallwolf. I mostly enjoy my job. It's my customers and team mates that keep me going normally.

[Harpbird]

Hi LJ, sorry to hear your unwell. Hopefully your dr will give you the time off.
so horrible not being able to sleep, I had a few of the best nights sleep I ever had last week, but I was so full of reflux yesterday and all last night , it was yuk. So I am so tired today and back to coughing all day, I could easily just veg out in recliner all day.

I have an osteopath appointment at 9 am. I am sitting in my car enjoying a extra hot chai latte before I go in. I am a little nervous, as when he asks how I have been ? He can instantly see straight through “ the I am ok” then do I tell him I “S H “ two weeks ago? Oh the dilemma. Mmm.
I hope you have a good day. Xx

[LJpd81]

Hope you are going ok Harpbird. Sorry for the late reply. When I have my appointments, I feel so emotionally drained and Can't do anything but watch Netflix or something.
I hope your reflux is better and your appointment went well as well.
I know what you mean on saying I am ok, I am good to your doctor. I do it all the time. I will say I am good, when in fact I am not. I am trying to tell my doctor now if I am not ok.
Yesterday I had my psychologist appointment. I feel it is going well. We talked about S/H and techniques etc, breathing exercises, distractions. I did say I would try, but I wouldn't promise. I do feel comfortable talking to her. Next appointment is Monday. That will be my 4th appointment. My 5th is a week later. I am wondering as I am close to nearing my 6th appointment, if whether I will get more appointments? As my doctor only referred me for 6 appointments so far. I am actually hoping for more.
Also I saw my doctor again. Basically to tell her how my hospital appointment went, although she had a report sent to her from the psychiatrist. She said it was up to me whether I take a higher dose of medication. I have only been on the lower dose for 2 weeks. So I am not sure what to do. Also I showed her my marks.

To top it off I have been unwell and have a stomach ulcer and sore tummy, upset tummy etc. I did get time off work until Tuesday thankfully.
Today is my cardiologist appointment. A bit nervous. Not until this afternoon. So very overwhelmed at the moment. Yesterday I felt teary and trying not to cry in public. Yesterday I thought for sure, I would cry in front of my psychologist. But I held it together.
I am strongly thinking of telling my family soon about my psychologist appointments. It is eating at me and I feel guilty I have told my aunty but not my family. Will discuss with my psychologist Monday.

[Aaronsis]

Hello LJpd81 and hello Harpbird

I wanted to say how proud I am of you both for being able to share such raw and such personal information and to get how you are feeling off your chest and the support you have for each other is just wonderful.

I have been thinking a lot lately about Doctors appointments and the things that happen in what seems to be a common "thing". People so desperately want an appointment and feel the frustrations of not being able to get in sooner, and this goes for both General Pracs as well as Psychs, and then we a person does get in they feel scared or feel vulnerable or maybe even shame or embarrassment at what they need to talk to their doctor about. So then not only does the doctor not get the whole picture but the patient does not get the whole support that they need, which in turn can leave them feeling let down or even disappointed and maybe even like the doctor is no good. I understand immensely how hard it is to have these conversations, I really do, so I am wondering if there are other ways that you can let them know how things "really are" with out having to feel so vulnerable or so full of shame or even guilt or whatever the feelings are that limit the appointment.

So I have been thinking that what about a code word, something you can say easily to your doctor that lets them know things are not good and that you would like to talk more or that there is something else to say but you feel awkward to uncomfortable. This would let them know that there is more conversation to be had and they could help out with that. Maybe the code word is something easy like "peaches" or something that is not so hard to say and has no stigma attached. I think that it is really important that for you to make the journey to feeling better that you are able to get the best from your doctor and also be able to feel like you are worth the work, as you are so very worth it.

The other point is and I know you will know this but they are doctors and I am so very sure that they have these conversations all the time, so while you are feeling so very uneasy about it, it is part of their day and part of their job and so will not be shocked or angry or make you feel bad about yourself.

I am wondering what you think about this?

There is no shame in SH, there is not shame in admitting you are SHing. There is support and care but first you need to be able to accept the care.

Huge hugs to you both and I hope today brings a smile to your faces

Hugs

Sarah xx

[Harpbird]

hi LJ, I feel the same after seeing the psychologist, though I still cry through my appointments, my gp organised 10 appointments, on mental health plan, told me after those he will review and give me more if needed so hopefully you can get more if needed. Oh the reflux is the pits, I only ever had it with my last pregnancy 30 years ago and it’s been pretty much constant last 17 months. My gp referred me to gastro specialist three months ago, I want to ring them and find out when I can get in but really couldn’t be bothered being on hold all day. I suppose I got used to people asking how are you? They didn’t really want to hear I am in agony and back to SH. My appointment with my osteopath was good , he really does have magic hands and can ease my pain Atleast for a little while. He asked how I was , I said ok but had a bad week two weeks ago. He looked at me and said did you? Using his hands pointing up and down his arms. I said “ no “ but nodded yes. Then said “yes” and nodded no. Was funny , lightened the moment before I said yes. He asked to see, I showed him my leg. He was very concerned in case it gets infected. Because we live on a farm with animals.
That’s good, your appointment went ok, I hope you learnt some of the relaxation techniques. I have my lil granddaughter here so she is my distraction.
I hope you can find an even dose with your meds. I know for my pain getting the right dose is tricky. I hope your tummy settles soon, I don’t have an ulcer but am celiac and if I get the slightest Bi t of gluten my tummy cramps and really cruel pain wise, then I am basically bed bound for days. Hope all goes well at the cardiologist , I find wearing sunnies out in public and with ya mask on , no one can tell your crying or upset. I found telling my youngest daughter about my SH was a big relief. She knows it’s my secret and good to know she will be there and be ok if I tell her if I do it again. you must have felt comfortable telling your auntie , don’t be hard on yourself, there is no shame in seeing a psychologist, so many people do these days. Thinking of you today.

[LJpd81]

I'm freaking out. My area where I live is going in to a 7 day lockdown from 5pm today. I'm freaking out and scared, and wondering will my psychologist appointment go ahead Monday? It's an essential service right? Feeling anxious

[LJpd81]

Thanks very much. Great ideas. I feel now my doctor knows I am self harming a lot, she will probably check on me more. I do feel I can talk to her. But I'm getting more confident. I did ask her to check my wounds yesterday.

My psychologist said a similar thing, she is used to it. So yes it's good it's common.

I've put on Kath and Kim. It's at least making me laugh while I feel anxious.

[LJpd81]

Thanks very much. It's great you feel comfortable to cry in your appointments. I wonder if I will ever. Not sure. Reflux is terrible. I hope it eases soon and you can get some relief. And start to sleep better. It's you can tell your osteopath about s/h. It's not easy and very easy brave to tell someone.

Yep, I agree wearing sunglasses and mask is great. No one can see my face.