Hi Chris
My heart goes out to you as you continue to face incredible challenges. Of course, I wish you the speediest of recoveries. Don't let anyone depressing or highly triggering interfere with your recovery. I imagine you'll be able to easily feel who's depressing and highly triggering. If it happens to be a nurse, give yourself full permission to ask for a different one. Only the best for you Chris 🙂 The best treatment leads to the best recovery.
'Bruised, broken or bleeding'. I'm sure you'll be able to relate to the findings of others who face depression. What a lot of them say is 'No one really seems to care unless you're bruised, broken or bleeding'. Some folk just can't recognise or relate to mental pain. So, here you are with your body stating the obvious; you're in a heck of a lot of pain. I imagine you're on some good meds to help with that. If there's one thing most parents can't tolerate, it's seeing their child in obvious pain. Taking it up a level, for a highly sensitive parent, they can't tolerate sensing their child's emotional or physical pain. Parents come in many forms.
I'll offer one of the many considerations my daughter has wisely led me to develop over the past year when it comes to her father. The words 'Low bar' offer clarity. The reason I mention this involves your parents. While I hope this incident has manged to permanently change their mind in how they relate to you, with things improving greatly, I offer the 'low bar' consideration just in case. Over the years, my husband has been an absolute legend when it comes to showing up for me in regard to hospital based challenges, obvious loyalty in the way of monogamy, as a completely reliable bread winner and all that kind of stuff. His behaviour has set the bar. Above the bar you would have effective mental health support and the kind of natural or spiritual based stuff that keeps the soulful side of us in good health, like a sense of adventure, a deeper connection to life, sensational plans for the future, exciting changes etc. As my daughter pointed out to me 'Mum, you accept too low a bar when it comes to what Dad offers you. He offers the minimum'. While I'm deeply deeply grateful for the minimum and I believe he basically loves me, the level we accept the bar being set at by others can determine what we feel we deserve. I believe we should not accept a low bar from others. Keep an eye on where your parents set the bar Chris. Look for them to raise it from this point onward.
