struggling

[seraphimpaige]

so ive been struggling so much recently. i had this absolutely awful agitation in my head for about 2 weeks in april after on-going anxiety attacks and ocd symptoms. Ever since then its been a constant struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, derealisation, depersonalisation, brain fog and awful severe and chronic insomnia. Every day i feel weak and fatigued and im struggling with the unknown of the condition as to whether or not this is a mental or physical condition. I've always had strong health anxiety so im sure its the cause but its still so debilitating right now. It's gotten to the point where i'm seeking help from psychiatrists and psychologists every day and even frequently visiting the ER. Every night the symptoms are worse and the intrusive thoughts and agitation are unbearable, i simply can't stop them or distract myself from this. I'm getting some medication today for anxiety so hopefully that helps but im just really in a bad place and may even talk to my psychiatrist about inpatient treatment if it gets any worse. if anyone could recommend other methods of coping or any advice it would be greatly appreciated, because its getting very hard to cope and my intrusive thoughts have progressed to thoughts of suicide to relieve the pain from all of these symptoms.

[Sophie_M]

Hi seraphimpaige, 

We are so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way and that the anxiety and panic symptoms are leading you to feeling so low. We can only imagine how you are feeling right now but want to say that you are not alone and where are here for you if you need us. 

We are incredibly encouraged that you are seeking support from professionals and that you are reaching out to them when you feel like you need to. That is an amazing thing to do for your healing and must take a huge amount of courage. You never know who will read your post and be inspired to seek professional support - thank you for sharing your story. 

If you ever want to speak to someone you can call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. You can also call our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14. Whoever you call you will be met with kindenss, understanding and support. 

If you do feel unsafe, it is important that you see this as an emergency and call 000 straight away.

Thank you again for posting here today, we hope that you can update us on how you are going and that you can continue to explore the forums for other conversations that resonate with you. 

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

[Croix]

Dear Seraphimpaige~

I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcoming you here, I'm glad you came as you sound in great distress and I'm also glad Sophie met you, as her suggestions are good ones.

I have no overall answers, I did however notice one thing. At night your thoughts race and you are unable to use distraction. That is a loss, as I've found it has been of great value, either though visiting an imaginary place I have in my mind to go to (ask me about it another time), or else reading something I know has made me feel good in the past. Other things I use too.

I'm not suggesting these are the things that would be effective for you, however what I found it was the difficulty in breaking that chain of thoughts the biggest barrier to giving distractions - of any sort - half a chance.

If you have not done so already can I suggest you practice using a free smartphone app called Smiling Mind. This has lots of exercises for all levels of ability (even mine) and when I use it I come out from a session with that horrible loop of thoughts broken and in a temporarily calmer state.

It's at that point pre-planned distraction can actually take your attention and work.

You can download that app starting here, for Android or iPhone:

https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app

I do plan what I'm gong to do in advance, so I do not waste that calmer time and just as importantly do not have to think.

Might this be worth a try? It does take practice so you will not succeed the first time you use it, concentration comes from prompts, but when you get even half successful amazingly it works!

Croix

[Petal22]

Hi seraphimpaige,

Sorry you are feeling this way I know it’s a very scary place to be in….

I had severe anxiety OCD………. The anxiety was very intense…….. when I was going through this condition I would call my phyciatrist regularly I learned this was a compulsion of mine to try to receive reassurance…. When I was in the severe side of my OCD everything seemed to go so fast… I would have panic attacks…. I couldn’t sleep for long I’d wake up wide awake…… and struggle to get back to sleep I felt like I was living in an internal hell…..

My intrusive thoughts were constant…. They would send my anxiety into overdrive……….. my intrusive thoughts would scare the hell out of me!

I have now recovered from this condition 4 years going strong! My recovery started from seeing a gp We did a mental health plan together, I also saw a clinical phycologist and psychiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD……. This then led me to a clinic that specialised in OCD this is were I learned to master my OCD…… OCD is a vicious cycle…… my therapy I did was meta cognitive therapy this is the therapy that gave me the tools I needed to break free of the grips of OCD………..

I was taught many strategies and skills at my group therapy …… I was also taught how to recognise when I was getting into my OCD cycle and how to disengage from the OCD cycle…. It took time and practice to learn the skills but they now come easy to me……

my gp also put me on a antidepressant to help manage my anxiety which I think really helped….

If I can learn how to master my OCD and break free of its vicious cycle there is HOPE you can aswell with the correct help……….

I’m here to support you and chat to you, I understand what you are going through…. Hang in there, please ask me any questions….

You are not alone many people have this condition……….