Life isn’t going anywhere

[lisalovesbacon]

Hi all, I thought I’d see if anyone has been in a similar situation to me. I’ve been single for 6 years now, no romantic prospects and my love life is just a string of one night stands. I am now 34 and starting to realise I’m getting older and my biological clock is ticking. Unfortunately it doesn’t look like this is going to change. I want children, I want to be married. I’m over being single and it’s starting to get me down to the point where suicidal thoughts are an every day occurrence.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Unfortunately you are the victim (I believe) of a change of thinking that has developed in the post 1990's world. 

My wife is doing her family tree and that involves visiting cemeteries. We are amazed that most families 150 years ago had 10,12,15 children. Then in the 1930's the great depression and world wars slowed that down. Then the 1970's with both parents working it slowed more. But the big change came later when suddenly adults in their 20's were seeking travel as their major dream, not married, children house etc. It seemed their biological clock wasnt thought about or technology can fix it all.

Now, that doesnt help you but it might help a reader here. For you, you have become aware and at 34yo you do have some time if you make it your priority now. My daughter is trying for a family now and is finding it a challenge (34yo) and her friend said "you think you have problems I'm 39yo and havent even got a partner.

My daughter met her wonderful husband 6 years ago on computer dating. While there are negatives associated with that method, the biggest advantage is that you immediately narrow down your search and you dont waste time dating and rejecting those that arent suitable to start with. Most in your age group are in the same boat.

I wish you well in your pursuit of your dreams and that every day you seek them in a productive way. Please take care of yourself especially mental health and seek your GP if you feel you have a need. It isnt unusual to feel so down on such a topic. I'm proud of you for reaching out.

TonyWK 

[Sialani]

Hi I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way and been struggling for some time. I have not personally been in your situation but I could only imagine how much of a stressful and depressing situation and thoughts you must feel having to think and feel like this about yourself. Maybe you could try different things or ways of dating or meeting someone who is looking for a similar relationship as you are. I know there is plenty of ways these days to have children without a partner but that could also be a lot of stress that you don’t need in this time. Is there anything I could possibly help you with or you would like to talk about to see if their is any possible way to not feel so low or to prevent having these everyday occurrences.

[smallwolf]

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It can be incredibly challenging and disheartening when our desires for companionship, family, and stability aren't being fulfilled. Please remember that your worth and happiness are not solely dependent on being in a relationship or having children.

I have many questions I would like to ask you, and to get more of your story. If you come back and reply ... I am listening.