I’m So Over It!

[BLACKDOGG66]

Hi… I’m a newbie… have raised money for BB for a few years, but never have I felt the need to post my issues.

I am 56. I had a well paying job in govt positions for 38 years. My last govt job pushed me over the psychological limit (mid 2019).

I have not held a long or well paying job since then. I am now at the point of writing a will and getting ‘out’!!

I hate my existence…. I can’t afford to do anything… all my animals need vet assistance, I’m just about to loss a heap of lower teeth to gum disease, I can’t sleep, I have no purpose. 

[indigo22]

Hi Blackdogg66,

I am sorry to hear that life has managed to get on top of you in the last few years, I can empathise with much of what you are going through. I am in my 60s now but was informed I had periodontitis (advanced gum disease) when I was 35. I have gradually lost most of them now and the ones that are left play up fairly regularly. Lack of finances can have a debilitating effect on your outlook, but I believe we all have purpose. I have been through stages of suicidal ideation when things have been at their lowest point, and there have been times I was ready to pull the plug but I am still here and I am glad that I am so I can give you some comfort in knowing you are not alone. Something you may not know about is NILS (no interest loan scheme). If you are on a Centrelink payment at present, you can apply for financial assistance through NILS and it is paid back through your fortnightly payments at affordable amounts over 12 months, sometimes longer. This would at least allow you to get some vet assistance for your animals. Our animals are what keep us going when we feel like giving up so please consider looking into this. I would also like to suggest that you try some guided meditation to help you improve your sleep, there are many free meditations available.

I hope these suggestions will be helpful for you, come back and talk anytime, we are here to listen and please

remember, you are not alone.

indigo22

[Doolhof]

Hi Blackdogg66,

I'm really sorry you are in such a battle with your depression right now. I'm in a rather dark place myself at present and have been doing some more research on the internet about how to assist myself with depression and suicidal thoughts.

Have you tried phoning Suicide call back, Life Line or Beyond Blue to talk to someone? I discovered some helpful information on the suicide call-back web site. 

I find it is a struggle to put into action strategies that will help when I am feeling really down. One moment at a time.

I don't have answers in regards to your health situation nor your income. Lack of finances can be a struggle, I totally understand that having had 20 hours of work a week recently taken from me. Maybe some verts have a payment scheme in your area. 

Not sure if I have helped at all ! People here do care for those who are struggling.