Hi Chocolate-milk
I have to say some of the hardest workers I've ever met are those who work almost day in and day out on their mental wellbeing. To say it's a tough job at times would be an understatement. Can definitely become exhausting on occasion.
I think what would be a reasonable statement is 'I just don't know how to do life under the circumstances'. I've found it to be a handy statement to adopt, as it can not only sum things up but it can also encourage us to be much kinder to our self. For a start, it sounds much nicer and it's far more productive than 'What's wrong with me?'. While I'm a gal who's been accused of playing with words, I'm also one that feels words, therefor how I manage them is what helps me manage my mental health.
So hard to be alone with words at times (our inner dialogue), especially at night or in the early hours of the morning, when there are less of the daytime sounds happening. With less sounds to distract, full focus is put on words/inner dialogue and it can get really brutal at times.
I've read what I'd have to say's a brilliant book, 'Insanely Gifted - Turn Your Demons Into Creative Rocket Fuel', by Jamie Catto. Catto speaks of the many different facets of us that can go toward making up the whole of who we are. Each facet will sound different (with its inner dialogue) and each one will have a different feel to it. So, if it's 4am and you're channeling your harsh inner critic, it can sound like 'You're hopeless. What's the point in you even being here? You're just too much hard work'. Our harsh inner critic can have an incredibly depressing feel to it. On the other hand, if it's 4am and you're channeling your inner sage, it's a whole different story: 'What you are experiencing is one of the hardest times in your life and you're experiencing this time with basic guidance, as opposed to mind altering life changing guidance that will set you on a different path in the blink of an eye. Be kind to yourself, as it's not your fault you're not feeling overwhelming levels of inspiration with what is basic guidance. You will know, without a doubt, when overwhelming inspiration comes. You'll feel it'. The inner sage can have a super uplifting feel to it. Whether it's late at night or at 4 in the morning, it's either the best time to tap into or meditate on words/dialogue or the worst time, all depending on what we're tapping into.
