How are you supposed to deal with the now to get to the future when the now sucks

[Baileysmells]

I just hate everything about my life, I’m doing something I’ve always wanted for myself which is studying, yet I still feel empty, unaccomplished .

I have no friends, no actual relationships. My “friend” I made since moving away only messages me when she feels like it maybe once a fortnight, dry-like.

I just sit here wishing for more, how am I supposed to get to the future if the now is this bad

[white knight]

Hi, welcome,

It is indeed a fact that life is what you make of it. I've never felt the way you feel. At 17yo I joined the AirForce rather than do what my late brother did - study until his eyes were sore daily. So at 17 I travelled Australia, made friends I still see (I'm now 66yo), had cheap accommodation, got a career I chose and free medical and dental and huge travel allowances and so on. I left 3 years later and became a Prison officer, dog ranger and PI. 

Another friend in the city was bored and depressed. He pulled up stumps and took up a temporary job as a cook (he didnt know how to cook!) at a sheep station in Queensland. He decided to stay for 3 years.

There is the notion that education is a natural way to well paid work and that's fine for many but not all. With HECS debts now causing much anguish among young adults I wonder why they dont seek alternative ways to seek happiness and career.

Finally, I've noticed over a long period that people without a real passion (a passion comes from childhood/teen years) are not as fulfilled in life. My passion has been tinkering in a shed that has included model airplanes, cubby houses as a small business, small engine repairs and so on. The problem with that concept is that all passions/sports etc cost money and during study that would be scarce. 

There is much to love about life and if you hate it that much it cant be healthy the way you are leading it. That's logical but difficult to seek answers. I hope I've given you hope and options.

TonyWK

[Baileysmells]

I can’t lead it differently because of anxiety and my general outlook. It’s deeper than my actions it’s ingrained into my mind and my psychologist isn’t a big help 

[Bob_22]

Hi Baileysmells,

Thanks for your post and for sharing a piece of your life. I'm sorry to hear that you've been wishing for more and I'm sure it's something alot of us experienced with mental health issues have experienced at some point.

I know for myself, even when I had everything in life going for me, it had little effect on my mental health and in some cases made the pressure worse. I now have very little in terms of friends, family, job, income but I'm the healthies I've been in years due to some help I've gotten. That's not to say you should abandon your studies but perhaps look into yourself to see what might need help as opposed to externally. For me personally, it was about getting the right help medically and psychologically. Once I had these lined up, it didn't really bother me too much that I was low on friends or family. 

Please feel free to update us with more information. I hope some of what I rambled made sense. I know the future can be a scary thing but it's best just to take things one step at a time and let fate sort the rest out. All we can do for now is our best and that includes taking care of ourselves. 💙

Bob

[Baileysmells]

I just don’t think I can do this alone much longer but there’s no one coming along

[Sophie_M]

Hi Baileysmells,
 
We can hear that you are struggling and just wanted to encourage you to engage with supports that are available. We are here for you, if you want to discuss this feeling that you don’t think you can do this, we want to help you get through this difficult period.
 
You can contact Beyond Blue either via phone 1300 22 4636 or through Online Chat 24/7. Please don’t feel you have to do this alone.


Warm regards
 
Sophie M
 

[Bob_22]

Hi Baileysmells,

Thanks so much for your update. I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling burnt out and that there's no one coming along. As Sophie mentioned if you ever need to talk to someone please contact one of the counsellors here at beyond blue by clicking the "immediate support" button at the top right corner of this page. 

I would also welcome you to post as much or as little here about yourself if that helps you offload that sense of loneliness at all. I know many users mention they feel less alone simply by posting any issues they might have here. Have you thought about joining a book club, sporting group or taking up a hobby club e.g. arts/painting?

Bob

[Baileysmells]

I’m too anxious to join any clubs or societies