For the first time in my life, I had suicidal thoughts

[Scott084]

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to the forum and looking to speak with other people going through a similar situation or who may be able to offer advice.

I separated from my wife in October 2021, I left a few times and stayed with my dad for a few days but always returned home. The "spark" between us was gone and we weren't really talking much. 

I was happy to leave and move in with my dad until I could find a more permanent solution. We have 2 beautiful daughters together. 

We had a conversation (not an argument) one night where she asked if I was there for her or just for the kids. I was honest and said that I was there 70% for the kids and 30% for her. She was obviously not happy with this and she left the house. The next morning I was confronted by the police and our home with an IVO against me. She claimed I was financially controlling and a whole heap of other nonsense. 

The next 12 months would cost me over 100k in legal fees to see my children, along with being slapped with a community corrections order because she messaged me about the kids a few times and I was silly enough to reply.

I lost my family business

And now everything is finally coming to an end, she won't sign the divorce. 

I just struggle each day to find the motivation to go on. If I didn't see my girls I know I probably would have ended my life.

I've been on anti depressants since I was in my early teens for panic attacks, but I've never felt this depressed before.

I see a psychologist regularly and I'm going to raise this with her. But just wanted to see if anyone out there can relate. 

[smallwolf]

Hello,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes a lot of courage to open up about the challenges we face, and I'm glad that you've reached out to connect with others who may be going through similar situations.

I cannot imagine how difficult this past year has been for you with everything that has happened - from separating from your wife, to losing your family business, plus then legal battles. It must be so emotionally draining. It's understandable that you're feeling depressed and struggling to find motivation.

At the same time you also mentioned that you are also seeking support from a psychologist and that you recognize the importance of taking care of your mental health. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

It's also understandable that your daughters are a source of comfort and motivation for you. As you navigate this difficult time, keep holding onto the love and connection you have with them. Stay strong and keep reaching out for help when you need it.