Want to be a hermit?

[white knight]

I suspect not many members will read this thread. Reason being, even people with mental illness commonly maintain their regular contact with others.. .including me.

However, all my life when depression hits ive been tempted to withdraw fully from people...with the exception of my close family members.Why?

Sensitivity plays a huge part. Without it a thick skin would shield me against those that hurt. Ok, thats my reason for me being tempted to become a recluse so what stopped me?

After a few attempts to run away from humans i realised that it wasnt practical even though l was desperate . I still needed health care so a current medicare card (nowadays), supplies for hygiene, utensils, tools, even hair cutting implements..and if something breaks? What about shelter?

I'd suspect these are the reasons hermits are homeless in cities where they can access services.

So if you have a burning desire to withdraw from society, what is an alternative?

A comfort safe zone might be your answer.

Firstly as people with mental illness we should not feel guilty for not contributing towards society. We are often only capable of focussing on our own survival.

Find an environment that suits you in housing you can afford. Many of us cant afford much. Consider a caravan...if you are single you are mobile and can park it in someones back yard for low rent..or be a drifter of caravan parks with some roadside or free camping.

The concept should be to maintain just enough contact with society to enable you to reap the benefits of it. I call it "swanning". I swan into town for my supplies, have a coffee at our fav cafe if it isnt busy and im feeling well, then swan out.

Over time you will perfect the regulation needed of home and away from home to remain in your best possible mental health.

A friend of mine a single guy with ptsd rents a cottage in our small town (pop 200). He drives a hiace campervan. His rent is very low here and he can tour around as he likes. He has many friends in Melbourne so when he wants he drives down, stays overnight then leaves the next day. He swans in and swans out.

If you are so depressed and can no longer tolerate people for whatever reason, resist the feelings of total withdrawal

In 1983 l expressed to my GP my need to live in the bush alone and with no contact. He said "you'll last about 3 months then you will be very unwell".

If you have just survived society, take care of yourself and find a safe place on society's fringe.

Tony WK

[white knight]

Hi, welcome again,

So glad you found one of my topical threads on the www.

Yes, many do need to find out for themselves what isolation will result in, hardship? discomfort? etc

Soul searching is a great way to explore the inner self.

Google

meditation- he helped me for 25 years, Maharaji

youtube Prem Rawat Maharaji appreciate

youtube Prem Rawat Maharaji the perfect instrument

youtube Prem Rawat Maharaji sunset

Anyway feel free to let us know your plans for health care, medication etc because as stated in my original post, you can’t divorce society completely and have your necessities as well.

TonyWK

[BeyondDepression]

Hi Tony .. sorry for late reply .. I really don't hit the internet much at all anymore 🙂

To explain, I am not leaving society but travelling within towns, on my own, self sufficient but never more than two days away from a town. As such I expect if I do find a problem with my health then I will be able to find assistance pretty quickly. Also if serious I have an satellite GPS with tracking and messaging.

I have been thinking on this a lot, and feel that it is the right path for me. I need to follow my intuition I think. Perhaps by getting back to the real basics I can embrace life again and see the beauty that I seem to have been missing since I was a child. Perhaps not too! The last is my foray into accepting uncertainty in life. I cannot say for sure whether I will be successful and in fact are keeping all my plans very open so as to a) not disappoint myself or others, and b) not have to push myself tremendously to meet a target.

While away I will be looking within. I will be thinking a lot on life, who I am, my purpose, my hopes and dreams. Basically I think I will be trying to find that "self" that has been locked away from the time I was told to do something different to what I thought was best for me. It sounds selfish! Yes! It is! This year is all about me. I think to become a more compassionate person I need to be completely in touch with who I am, and I personally think this is the way to do it.

So not a hermit completely, but I read another forum where someone called it "swanning". Staying away from built up areas as much as possible, but still have the means and wherewithal to "swan" in, touch base with society and get back out.

Maybe I'm looking for some enlightenment? Perhaps I see that with all the distractions we have in our lives that "getting back to basics" may actually help me move forward. One step back, two steps forward sort of thing.

So we'll call it psuedo-hermitism shall we? 🙂

One month to go!

[white knight]

Hi BD,

Well thanks for the clarification, it all makes sense to me.

You'll be amazed at the offers you'll get to do some work, maybe work for lodgings at an orchard or sheep station. Then there will be the unexpected. I once had a wombat enter my tent one night ironically at a place called skeleton creek. Scared the daylights out of me he did.

My only constructive advice is there will be times when you will be harassed by the public. A public area is free for all. As a former private investigator that carried out surveillance often, I can tell you the public dont like strangers and try to force them to go elsewhere. I'd have to stand my ground and educate them. Even outside their home they believed I had no legal reason to be there yet (as I reminded them) their property line stops at their front fence. They ring the police often so expect visits. Sometimes it pays to drop by the cop shop is walking past and have a yarn, saves them wasting time on complaints.

You might even find it beneficial to buy a pushbike!

TonyWK

[SSand]

Hi, Hope someone can help. My brother has bipola and autism. He has trouble being around people and interacting with others, particularly if he doesn't know them and when he is down. He lives with my elderly mother who is his carer. We need to find somewhere for him to live more independently and my mum and the family want to organise this before my mum is no longer with us. If we wait till after the event the trauma will make it worse. He need somewhere where he can have lots of privacy from other people but still close enough to a centre to get medication, meals on wheels and go to the bank and getting groceries is not too much of a challenge. Financially, it would be best to rent as if he doesn't like it we are not left with property that may be difficult to sell. However, we are worried about his ability to look after the premises and he will never pass a rental inspection because he is a horder. Is there any organisation that can help or websites you can suggest.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm bipolar and I'm the author of this thread. Thankyou for posting in it.

I'm unaware of any websites but my first port of call would be the council chambers of the town you think would be best for him to rent at.

Ideally such a town should be say 3000-7000 population (If you Google the name of a town followed by population it will tell you), a train station, supermarket, at least two banks, hospital, an atm, chemist, community health centre, council chambers and aged care.

Towns smaller risk losing those services. Also good is a city on the same rail line so he has access to x-ray, specialists etc.

So now I'd attend the local council chambers and ask for disability services. You need all the help you can get. Ps. Well done in thinking ahead.

TonyWK

[Hmmmm]

Hi WK and anyone else who comes across this post,

'Hell is other people,' is a well-known quote. For me, a better quote might be, 'Hell is people in authority.' I want to escape society so that I never have to encounter another human being who can make decisions on my behalf. I hate them so much that I sometimes feel desperate enough to leave my beautiful children and wife. I don't want to leave them, but as long as I continue to live in our home together, I need to continue working to pay the mortgage and bills. I am trapped in this endless cycle. I can't commit suicide because that would devastate my children. I can't up and disappear as my wife controls our finances. My only choice is to divorce, split our assets and live in a caravan. I know that I will feel guilty and alone, but I can't keep living like this. Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what I am looking for on this forum. I'm a weirdo.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Hmmmm,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us on the Beyond Blue Forum. We are really sorry to hear how much you are struggling and hope you start to recieve some support and words of guidance from our lovely online community. 

It sounds like you are feeling trapped and powerless at the moment with your responsibilities. I can imagine this being very consuming and debilitating and we think you are courageous to be fighting and trying to do the right thing for your family despite how difficult it is. Relationship strain and financial pressures can challenge our mental health, for men especially
  Experiencing thoughts of suicide can be scary and isolating, regardless of whether you feel you will act on these thoughts or not. We strongly suggest you reach out to our counsellors tonight. We’re available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEDT on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area.

Our friends at Mensline Australia are available 24/7 on 1300 78 99 78. If you give them a call tonight they will be able to point you in the right direction for help and give you the space to be able to talk things through, especially if you are in distress.

Please know you are not alone.

Warmest Regards,  

[smallwolf]

hi. I notices this was your first post on the forum. Welcome.

firstly, I want you to know this is a safe place to chat and the people here are supportive and nonjudgmental. Perhaps if you wanted to stay a bit longer and chat about what you are going through here, you might create a thread to start that conversation. It sounds as though things are quite challenging for you on the home front. If I could ask one question ... what changes would you like to see for life to be better for yourself?

[white knight]

Hi Hmmmm

Thankyou for posting.

At this point I am also interested in the answer to Smallwolf's questions. I'll keep an eye on this thread.

TonyWK