Store Your Happy Memories Here:

[Croix]

Dear All~

What this place is for:
This thread is a tool, a resource, and also I guess a dash of entertainment.

I’ve found that when life is grim that sometimes thoughts of past happiness can create a chink of light in the grey overwhelming press of down. They can help occupy the mind with lighter reflections.

With that in view I invite people to set down a brief passage describing some happy event they look back to with fondness and peace.

They - and others too - can then return to it when they feel the need to glean a little warmth.

It is not a place for gloomy or dire tales, those can go elsewhere.

What to do:
Just set out, as simply as you like, your recollection of some past experience that means something good to you, something you enjoyed, something from safe times.

It can be, like my story below, anything – from an account of visiting grandparents to simply cooking and eating a melted-cheese sandwich in a favorite kitchen – you get to choose.

How to do it:
Write. Write enough so someone else can feel the mood, know what happened, find the goodness. (stop at 2,500 characters please!)

Grammar, syntax, spelling, punctuation are not compulsory, just write as you can – the only important thing is the content - not literary merit. Short or long - it does not matter.


I hope you enjoy, contribute and find a little distraction here when you need it.

Croix

[monkey_magic]

When I first came here I was saying whatever and not reading everything or overlooking the whole system. Feelings were possibly effected. Re- reading I'm thinking why did I say that? I should have sensored myself. I think that's called growth which should make one happy....

Just going to think I'm happy for the day

[Croix]

Dear Paul and M_M

Paul, these things are meaningful to any one, but have more impact as a child, and so they should, there is the tacky taste of the watered coke, plus the new experience of being short-changed. It prints in the memory.

And you a re right, being a kid can be simple like that, time to concentrate on the act of having a drink, and not have to deal with all the complexities that crowd round in adulthood.

M_M, you are right you have grown, and while looking back can give you a measure of your progress it does not do to dwell too long on such things, pain in the past and the actions that resulted should be acknowledged them left behind.

In a lot of ways you have a new life now.

Croix

[Mozette]

I was out with a large group of people yesterday for a Christmas Party and sat down with a couple of people I work with in a lovely little cafe. We got talking about the UK. I told them about Stamford - a town my friend had taken me to where time had stood still. She wanted to take me there to show me that the council was building new suburbs in the same way they built them in early 1200's... with stone masons and nothing else. Sure the huge blocks of stone were brought in on trucks and moved by cranes, but people were carving out everything else by hand... it was amazing.

My friends sat there stunned that an English town like that existed and then I told them about the music shop, and how the steps into the shop were stone and had never been replace, so had wear marks of where people had walked on them, the tiny bay windows which protruded from the shop, and into the old concrete footpath outside - so very Dickens and very English! I loved it. I didn't tell them about the crooked assistant manager trying to sell the flute to my friend... it was all about the township and the place.

And it was the first time I talked about her without crying.

When I got outside after about half an hour, I as though I was going to forget her; as though I was going against her memory... sure it felt good to share that memory of her and my time together in 1997, but I still felt guilty in a way. It was a good memory though.

[Doolhof]

Last week I was admitted to a small country hospital. I had a room to myself which had a door to the outside world... that I discovered was not locked!

Early one morning I could not sleep, so I went out for a walk, it was cool and crisp and so peacefully quiet! Hospitals really do not encourage sleep!

I heard a possum in a tree making quite a racket, it did not like being disturbed by me walking under its tree. I could hear some frogs as well.

I found a milk crate and sat and looked at the stars for a while.

The lighting highlighted the colours in the roses, the perfume seemed so heightened in the coolness as well.

It was so cool, I returned to my room for a blanket...that is when I was sprung by the nurse coming back in the door!

There seemed to be a bit of pandemonium happening after that as nurses dashed around trying to find out who had a key to lock the door!

I had a quiet chuckle to myself and had enjoyed my little bit of peace in amongst what was not such a pleasant time in general.

[Croix]

Dear Mozette~

I think you are discovering the same thing that I have. When a person passes away all one can think of is the last little bit of their life, when it ended. That consumes all.

As time goes on other events and feelings come to the fore, and they happen more and more often. I guess that is why people say 'time heals'. It doesn't really, but you get a balance with the happier memories from your joint lives becoming stronger, mixing with new memories from your life since, and you end up able to be sad - or happy - without the pain.

My first wife is a good example of this. When she passed away my grief was overwhelming. In time I remarried, and now have a mix of memories, with a lot of good ones there.

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Mrs Dools

A pity you could not persuade them to leave the door alone, though I suppose it would annoy the possum.

Night can be a healing time of tranquillity. That's why if I'm able to go for a walk I prefer the night. Walking with the earth revolving under your feet and the stars overhead can give a sense of perspective one does not find cooped up inside. Then again there are possums. rabbits, bandicoots ....

Croix

[Mozette]

I know it's not a bad thing to become accustomed to my friend not being in my life anymore - and it's always going to be sad that she's not here anymore. But it's not yet a year (and her birthday's not yet been) and this is what make me feel guilty - that I'm not more broken up about this.

Is it the distance? Is it that I wasn't immediately there when the family needed my support?

It's late at night when I've been thinking these thoughts the most; as during the day, I'm okay and enjoy life better and easier - even when it's raining, like it is now.

[Croix]

Dear Mozette~
Sorry to be so long in replying, had to pop into hospital for a while and only just escaped (nothing serious).

Feeling guilty about grief I'd imagine is very common, mainly because we have expectations of what grief looks like, which of course is simply wrong. There is no 'I should be ..."

Some people cry a lot, or depend greatly on others, others do not seem affected on the outside but make big changes in their life as a result. It my sound trivial but someone I know from then on always gave mony to those begging/busking in the street despite always having disapproved of them before.

Late night is the time these thoughts come to the fore, I guess one of my methods is to get up, have a cuppa and read something cheerful. Hopefully breaks the chain of gloomy ideas.

Being so far away from the person you care about and not being to hand to help as it happens are things many have to face, it is not fault, it is simply circumstances.

My I ask what strategies you have planned to deal with things on her birthday?

Croix

[Zonnekp]

Hi Croix,

Speaking of which. Back in South Africa in the town we lived in there was a Wimpy. It looked out over the bridge crossing the river. My husband and daughter and I used to go there Saturday mornings for brunch. Always ate nr 9 on the menu, burgers with avo, cheese and bacon, with a side of fries and Coke. Best burgers ever!

ZonnekP

[Croix]

Dear ZonnekP~

I'd no idea Wimpy was so far-reaching. A regular family meal is a lovely thing to remember quite apart from the good food.

Thank you for that

Croix