Store Your Happy Memories Here:

[Croix]

Dear All~

What this place is for:
This thread is a tool, a resource, and also I guess a dash of entertainment.

I’ve found that when life is grim that sometimes thoughts of past happiness can create a chink of light in the grey overwhelming press of down. They can help occupy the mind with lighter reflections.

With that in view I invite people to set down a brief passage describing some happy event they look back to with fondness and peace.

They - and others too - can then return to it when they feel the need to glean a little warmth.

It is not a place for gloomy or dire tales, those can go elsewhere.

What to do:
Just set out, as simply as you like, your recollection of some past experience that means something good to you, something you enjoyed, something from safe times.

It can be, like my story below, anything – from an account of visiting grandparents to simply cooking and eating a melted-cheese sandwich in a favorite kitchen – you get to choose.

How to do it:
Write. Write enough so someone else can feel the mood, know what happened, find the goodness. (stop at 2,500 characters please!)

Grammar, syntax, spelling, punctuation are not compulsory, just write as you can – the only important thing is the content - not literary merit. Short or long - it does not matter.


I hope you enjoy, contribute and find a little distraction here when you need it.

Croix

[Quercus]

Hi Croix,

That story was lovely. There is something about the memories of being a child cared for by a trusted loved one that brings back gentle feelings.

When I read your story it triggered a memory. It is happy and painful in equal parts. But important so I will share it if that's ok. The prompt word was crab.

We sit in a pub at uni. A group of friends at a table laden with beer. Everyone in the room is laughing. It is a "quiz night/excuse for drunkenness" and people are owning up to the strangest place they've had sex for bonus points to win.

I am learning. This feeling (being allowed to have friends and go out) is still new to me. My friends are lovely and rowdy and fun.

The boy I admire sits next to me and he flirts. With me!! My friend has leant me a dress and I feel pretty and very drunk. My mind is chaos.

They are all silent. The room erupts in laughter. Oh GOD. I said that aloud! No. More. Beer!

We are awarded points for my admission and the quiz continues. My friends ignore the next round to quiz me instead. I'm blushing. Sooooo. Mangroves huh. What happened? Spill!

I blurt out. I stepped on a crab. In the mud. He showed me how to hold it so it couldn't nip me and how to tell it was it was a she. She had blue claws.

They laugh (with me never at me) and their smiles are gentle. He keeps flirting anyway. They don't mind that I'm awkward and always say the wrong things. In this room with these friends I am safe to be myself. I feel free and I love it.

[Doolhof]

Today I visited a friend who recently had an operation. While at her home another mutual friend dropped in and yet another lady happened to make a phone call while I was there so I was able to chat with her too.

My friend also asked if I could help her with a couple of jobs while I was there. I was very pleased to do so.

Driving home I had a smile on my face thinking of my friends.

[Croix]

Dear Nat~

It is a lovely memory. I thought it delightful that even though your tale was not of the sort your friends were expecting it worked out just fine. You said just the right thing to suit you and them - plus the boy you were interested in too of course.

What a beautiful way to learn of yourself and others.

Thank you

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Hey there Croix...I have a bit of a dilemma..and yes it concerns "happy memories" surprise surprise! As you know I don't post here simply because recalling my happy memories makes me so damn SAD! We have discussed that before but I still don't know why..

.anyway...I have been asked to recall and relate some memories I have of a special event a long time ago..(I am the only one in my social circle who was there)....and the occasion was indeed a happy one! Great memories..wonderful experience - I was so lucky to have been there! So far I have said nothing and not shared the memories with anyone. I am procrastinating like crazy and brushing people off....for one reason. It causes me pain. Why pain? Nothing bad happened!

It makes me very emotional, and stirs up deep feelings within me..as Happy Memories are supposed to do! So why can't I talk about it, describe it, etc? Why don't I want to eagerly share my memories of the event? What am I afraid of? Can anyone explain this to me?

[Doolhof]

Hi Moon,

Certainly is a little perplexing for you. A happy memory causes feelings of sadness.

Maybe it is because:

-in some "strange" way your mind is telling you that happy memories are not allowed due to mental health issues.

- part of you desires to have more happy occasions but you have forgotten how to accept, acknowledge and appreciate them

- part of you feels like you don't deserve to feel that way

- depression is causing you to think sadness is best

I don't know, just a few suggestions that I can relate to when I feel like I should be miserable instead of happy. Other people may well think totally differently.

Today I was going to cancel a lunch date with a girlfriend as I was feeling more miserable towards the time we wee to catch up. I texted to let her know I would be a little late, met up with her and enjoyed our time together in the end.

Hopefully recalling the happy memory will make you feel like you have the right to that memory of a happy time and it does not need to be coated with sadness.

Wishing you well, Moon,

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

It

[Quercus]

Hi Moonstruck (and Croix and Mrs D and all reading),

Croix I'm taking a detour if that's ok but I do have a memory to share too).

I think MrsD has got an idea there about it possibly being part of your MI. My psychiatrist tells me the point of my therapy is to be able to feel emotions at a "normal" level again. When I think of my Grandparents for example I often feel overwhelmed with grief. As if they have only just passed. He says these extreme emotions are part of my depression.

And that managing the depression will eventually make me able to feel emotions without being utterly overwhelmed by them.

❤ Nat

PS.I'm really happy to see you about again 😊.

[Quercus]

It has been a hard sleepless teary kind of night. The kids wake me with the sun. I am on my second cup of tea when the door opens. Daddy's home they yell. Always with the yelling. It is far too early and I haven't had enough tea.

I wait for a few moments for them to demand kisses and spinny hugs and then go to rescue him so he can shower in peace without having to explain 50 times the names and how to spell body parts.

At the table Miss 2 demands oats. Mr 4 porridge. I have given up explaining they are the same. It's as useful as an ashtray on a surfboard. He stands in the doorway and I smile to see how they respond to him. And smile wider at how he stops to brush a hand over their hair and ask "What did Mum ask you to do?". Supporting not taking over. They stop waving the spoons and splattering porridge and eat nicely.

Now it's my turn. I sip my tea and wait. He smells like soap and home and beloved. The smell I imagine in therapy when they ask us to think of a safe place.
He wraps me up tight. I rest my head under his chin. He knows me so well. I need this.

There aren't words to explain why I feel yuck. So I whisper I don't like my hair short anymore. He laughs quietly and tells me he is quite fond of trolls. I pull back amused and raise an eyebrow. I know where this teasing is headed...

He ruffles my hair further. It sticks up everywhere. I know he is thinking of those little troll toys with the colourful hair. You're such a toad. I tell him. Lucky you're my kind of weird.

He pulls me close again and slides his fingers through my hair. Kisses me. He tastes like toothpaste. Toothpaste and tea. We're a good combination.

The kids splatter porridge all over the table and for once he shrugs and says at least it's not permanent marker. A grin and a smile just for me. I am in love all over again.

[blondguy]

Hi Croix...My apologies for hijacking your thread for a moment...and thankyou Croix

Moon...I can answer your question....on any of my threads. I will be off topic if I answer it here....and its not my thread too....Doh!

Hugs

Paul

[Croix]

Dear Paul~

It's all good, you are very welcome, and giving some of your wisdom here would be more than fine

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I took a little while to think about this, trying your situation on myself for size.

I guess if one has a lot of disappointment in some areas of one's life and the hurt is deep enough then one can be very reluctant to be disappointed and feel that hurt again, so even happy memories are shunned in case they too turn sour. Not logical I know.

An example from my life, one of the greatest disappointments I've had was leaving the police, not my choice. Ever since then I've steered clear of all memories for the time I was serving. I know quite well there are good as well as bad, but they are all in involuntary quarantine. Occasionally a memory leaks out - unfortunately the unpleasant ones, a minor example being the sheep incidents in my thread - but otherwise I'm often stuck.

Does that make any sort of sense to you Moon?

Croix