Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I'm so pleased for you that you feel you are able to process your grief in an organic way that you find healing.  Having the sense that the person is with you in spirit is I hope comforting for you.  While your weather is nice I hope you have been able to get out in nature & recharge your spirits.

A Doona was what we called them years ago too, I think it is an Aussie term, the English used to call them a Duvet.  Back then a quilt was something that had decorative panels/images made from pieces of fabric sewn together, often with decorative stitching.  Given that people still do traditional quilting it has puzzled me why the Doona/Duvet ever had it's name changed.  But then lots of things seem to have had name changes for no real reason, couches becoming sofas springs to mind.  

I'm envious of your Autumn weather.  Storms crossed Victoria yesterday evening & overnight, but of course they all missed here.  For the first time in the decade that I've been here the creek has completely dried up, even the deeper pools which usually last even when it stops flowing in summer are dry.  I worry for the wildlife.  I'm only filling my birdbath mid afternoon when it is back in the shade, rather than topping it up as it needs.  Within 5 minutes of me filling it the fairy wrens & grass wrens are mobbing it, I'm fascinated how they can tell so quickly.  The bigger birds take a bit longer to realise.

How frustrating not being able to get what you were after at your local supermarket.  I hope you managed to get it all at the supermarket in big town.  I'm hoping next week will be cooler so I can go into big town to the doctor & shops.  The last few times I've been into Woolies there, they haven't had everything that I was after, so I might be brave & try the Coles.  

Big 🐻 hugs

Paws