Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

I can understand that being a bit unsettling having the fires going even though you are outside the warning zones. The fire season is starting earlier now so it is easy to get caught a bit off guard when it is not yet summer. There is nothing more frustrating than a deliberately lit fire so it’s awful if that is what’s been happening. I hope it’s all settled soon. I really need to have my action plan ready as there is a fair bit of bush around and beyond this town. It can be easy to get complacent here as the climate is mostly mild. The summer before I moved here there was a fire that looked like it might threaten a town about 15 minutes north of here and my elderly neighbour who lived here then told me people were packing up their cars just in case.

I’ve got my washing machine going late at the moment so it will be ready to put out first thing in the morning. I can feel I’m incredibly tired now so I think I will sleep well. Today was so much better eating safe foods at home. The symptoms that persisted late into last night are very much subsided today. It gives me so much more peace. I went to my favourite ocean place again. The sun was radiating through clouds producing what I have heard people describe as “god light”. The golden rays were beautiful. I visited my favourite rock pool there too. I didn’t see crabs today but the other day there were 5 little crabs near me there feeding on what they could find on the surface of the granite rock. A little beige fish, camouflaged against the sand, would suddenly make me aware of it as it moved along the bottom of the rock pool. I saw a carpet python the other day too. It’s the third I’ve seen in that area.

It turns out that my kiwis have been talking to your kiwis via a satellite phone. So I think the brewery concept may take off in your backyard too. I heard mention of the development of a franchise business called Kiwi Kegs. They were trying out catch phrases such as “be legless, not kegless”. Oh dear 🙈 

Well I can feel I’m nodding off so will make my way towards bed. You sleep well too Paws.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I know what you mean  by "god light" & it is lovely.  I don't know why, but I'm surprised at there being carpet pythons in WA.  I can't think of any reason why they wouldn't be there, yet they are not something I associate with WA.  The weird way our minds (or at least mine) work.  

I was up all last night & all of today as being me, I've been unsettled by the nearby fires.  The phone alerts have been coming through constantly & when I look out my lounge window I can see the smoke.  I got my hopes up when it started raining this morning, but it wasn't enough to help & probably just made things worse for the firies by making the fire trails slippery.  The winds have been gale force since early afternoon which just makes it worse.  Thankfully for me the wind is blowing away from my place.  The forecast is for the winds to stay the same overnight, so I will be heading off to bed early tonight.

Now I'm wondering... where did the kiwis get the satellite phones?... I suspect a certain walrus may be behind this latest development... especially the plotting of the whole business idea... I suggest a long straw in one of the kegs so Eddie the Emperor Penguin can imbibe while in your chimney... then when he is tipsy you can try to get him to blab about the walrus' plans.  I think the suggestion that Eddie stay in your chimney for Santa to dislodge may be a clue that the said walrus is plotting to go without the usual xmas festivities on his iceberg.

Hmmm... it's just occurred to me that the kiwis have been strangely quiet... I think I better check what is going on in my shed....   

“be legless, not kegless”.     Oh dear indeed  🙄🤣

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

I have been thinking about you today in relation to the fires. I can totally understand not sleeping. I’m glad at least it is moving away from you. Strong winds make it really tough for the firies. I was reading about the winds and storms in eastern Victoria too. Poor Victoria is really copping it at the moment. I do hope some cooler weather helps and they can get on top of the fire.

All three carpet pythons I’ve seen here locally have been on the road. Sadly one was run over and dead. Another was hit by a car but still alive. Myself and two friends came across a group gathered around it. We decided to do whatever we could to rescue it. My friend picked the python up in a cloth bag and I acted as ambulance driver to get the snake to the vet. He was so beautiful in the car, making every effort to live and was looking up and around at us. We were egging him on to be ok. His injuries were internal. We handed him over to the vet but after calling the next day found he didn’t make it 😞 I say he was a he because of his small size and the males are smaller than the females but I could be wrong. The other two I saw were females I suspect as they were much bigger. The one I saw the other evening was crossing the road and fortunately not on my side of the road. I would feel terrible if I ran one over. I’ve held carpet pythons a few times and they are beautiful, curious creatures.

It’s been windy here so my washing dried well. I feel like I haven’t got a lot done today as I’ve needed to rest a lot. But that is ok. This morning I had the excitement of finding a peacock spider on my stove. I was about to cook my usual omelette for breakfast when I saw a little jumping spider. On closer inspection I could see his red and blue colours which I recognised as Dunn’s Peacock Spider. I decided to put him outside as I didn’t want him to have an unfortunate accident such as accidentally jumping into my frying pan. In a previous home I had a male and female of the same species who kept coming into my kitchen. One day I went to rinse out my water bottle not realising the female was in it and she was down the plug hole before I could stop it 😢 The male kept looking for her after that and I felt terrible 😞 So go my spider sagas.

Ah, imbibing Eddie while he is in the chimney is an excellent plan. We shall learn of the walrus’s plans. I have now passed a long straw to him after the kiwis rolled in a keg. I told them Eddie just wants to be a professional quality control taster for them and they fell for it. Hmm, interesting, Eddie is mumbling something about Operation Waddle. It sounds like a secret operative mission. I will try to extract further details. To be continued… 

I do hope you can get some sleep tonight Paws and feel a bit more at ease. Sending supportive hugs 🤗 

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Oh you are lucky seeing a Peacock Spider, I've only ever seen pictures of them.  A big Whoops about the one going down the plug hole, but at least it wasn't intentional.  My house has been inundated with web making spiders of all types for a few months now.  I swear I brush away a cobweb & it's back before I can leave the room.  They're not just up in the cornices, every doorway has them making an archway & I'm even getting them on my bookcases, kitchen shelves, in fact name a spot & it probably has a web.   I usually co-habitate happily with spiders, even huntsmen, but this is getting annoying having them appearing everywhere & I'm probably going to crack & run around spraying everywhere I can reach.  Given it was a dry winter & spring I don't know why they have decided to move indoors.  

Oh you are brave rescuing that python.  Not something I could do & I don't think I could pat one either.  It is sad it had to be put down though.  Unfortunately cars vs wildlife rarely ends well for the wildlife, which is one reason if I'm driving home at night I always drop my speed once I'm off the highway & on the country roads.  

Hmmm... Operation Waddle... me thinks the plot thickens... I await updates...     There have been strange goings on in my large shed... lots of banging & mysterious deliveries to the rear of it...  all activity ceased when I walked outside & before I could even get close, I was shepherded away by a few very excitable kiwis to my backyard to "see something wonderful"... which turned out to be my rose bush... this was followed by my being led hither & yon... until I quite forgot why I had gone out & they returned me inside to a cuppa...  when I remembered later & peeked out my window I saw the shed was padlocked... so investigations will continue...

I'm hoping your symptoms are easing... sleep well

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

Peacock spiders are so tiny that you may have seen one with knowing. The female looks like other jumping spiders. It is the male with his colours that gives it away, but even then he is so small that you have to really look closely to see the colours. The photos you see are almost always macro images that make them look so much bigger. I find macro images of jumping spiders in general absolutely hilarious 🤣 If I need a good laugh they’re always good to look at.

I am also very spider tolerant and don’t mind them, including big hairy ones like Huntsmans. The one type I will kill are Redbacks if they are in the home or garden and could lead to a bite. I was bitten by one 3 years ago. I don’t blame it as I was pushing down on grass to get up and was squashing it with my hand. It was seriously painful 😣 You barely feel it at first and then the pain just builds and builds. The best pain reliever was putting ice on it.

Pythons are a good way to get to know snakes, being non-venomous. They are curious and will explore you, flicking their tongue which is how they smell you.  I’ve also held a Stimson’s python which is delicate and smaller than a carpet python. I feel like they have real personalities. The one we tried to rescue was just sitting in my friend’s lap next to me in the car and it felt like he knew he was being looked after. I don’t know if that’s a human projection from me but all 3 of us loved him and wanted him to live. I later found out from a vet nurse from the vet clinic that it was a medication given to him that killed him unintentionally, so I don’t know if he would have lived otherwise.

Those sound like clandestine activities in your shed Paws. The kiwis sound like they are well versed in the art of distraction and diversion. I have managed to get Eddie to spill some more beans. Apparently there are two operatives currently active. Operation Waddle and Operation Tipsy. It’s self evident the variety of birds involved in each. Croix has convinced the penguins that the world beyond the iceberg has more mischievous mayhem opportunities than the iceberg. And he’s convinced the kiwis that the world beyond the iceberg is brimming with many varieties of inebriation. They have been encouraged to venture forth en masse and discover this new world. So I think our challenge is to entice them back to the iceberg as the centre of fun and beverages. That will be something to sleep on tonight as I hatch a plan 🤔 Feel free to share any thoughts on what may make the iceberg the centre of the universe for penguins and kiwis once again.

Thank you re: symptoms. They were better today. I’m getting test results from the doctor tomorrow. I hope things are really settled and under control with the fires now. We have a possible severe thunderstorm forecast tomorrow, though it looks like it could affect areas to the north more than here.

May you sleep well Paws and have a lovely day tomorrow.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

However non venomous pythons may be, I still have no wish to get close to them or any other snake.  It must be some ancient survival instinct that tells me to stay away.  I would love to pat a tiger though & even a saltwater croc, so my survival instincts are obviously a bit wonky.

I'm off into big town tomorrow to renew my licence & go to the chemist.  If I can I will possibly grab some things from Woolies that I can't get at the general store, but that depends on how I feel after the first two.  It was cool today & tomorrow should be the same which will make the drive bearable.  

I'm hoping your test results gave you some answers & a path forward.  

hugs 

Paws

ps:  I'm thinking perhaps pointing out to our feathered interlopers that if the outside world is so great... then why didn't the Walrus accompany them...   though that may fall down as we aren't living with the walrus... or perhaps something along the lines of the best breweries are always in cold climates... think whisky in Scotland... Mead in Scandinavia... Beer in Germany...  definitely needs more pondering 🤔

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

You are definitely braver than me regarding tigers and saltwater crocs. Someone I know recently posted a video about saltwater crocs at a notorious crossing where cars often get washed into the croc infested river 😲 I find the idea of bears quite scary and so the thought of camping or trekking in parts of the world is a bit freaky to me. Yet I’m ok with snakes. But I do think we may have in built alarm systems about certain creatures that have epigenetically imprinted over time. So something in us sees a stick or a shadow on the path ahead and immediately questions if it is a snake.

I hope all goes well with the trip to big town tomorrow and that the license renewal goes smoothly. One good thing about not being in the city that I’ve found is certain services have less demand. So places like licensing centres and other government services aren’t as hectic as in the city. So I hope the licensing centre is not busy and it’s all straight forward. I hope you might be able to get those additional items at Woolies too. I have got the occasional delivery from Woolies when I’ve been unwell such as when I had Covid. There’s no Woolies here so the truck comes from another town. I wonder if that is also an option if you ever needed it? I don’t know if they would deliver to your location or not.

Only the blood test results had come through today, not the x-ray results. One liver enzyme is raised at present that can indicate liver damage but it’s not overly high. But the left side pain seems most likely costochondritis which the doctor and I both agree on. It’s easing gradually so it will hopefully go away on its own.

There’s been lovely soft rain falling here. It’s not cold at all so I have the sliding door open with the fresh night air coming in. I can hear the frogs at the river - the quacking frogs and banjo frogs. There was some thunder earlier but not the possible severe thunderstorm the forecast mentioned.

Yes, those are good ideas for enticing penguins and kiwis back to the iceberg. I think the kiwis can be convinced that they can most successfully market Kiwi Kegs as coming from the pristine iceberg in the pristine waters of the southern ocean. It is all the more unique that a walrus is in the southern ocean when they normally inhabit the far north of the globe. So I think the walrus could become a mascot for Kiwi Kegs. A kind of coat of arms could be imprinted on the kegs with a kiwi on one side and a walrus on the other. Purchasers of the beer can get a free bottle opener included in the shape of walrus tusks.

The next plan is how to get the penguins back there. I am thinking of having a ski jump built where the penguins can perform aerial skiing on the iceberg. They will be reminded of how much fun an icy environment is. Even the kiwis might enjoy it though unlike the penguins who will be performing complex aerial manoeuvres they will just set of go plonk once they launch off the ski jump. These briefly airborne kiwis can go by a new name - skiwis. It can be a side attraction for the brewery business.

I think we have a potentially successful kiwi and penguin relocation plan Paws 😉

Hugs and sleep well,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

My bad hips having been worse this past week, especially the right & when I dragged the bin up my drive this morning it didn't appreciate the effort.  So the trip into town didn't happen today, hopefully tomorrow.

I don't think I would be too keen to walk in woods that had bears either, though I do think they are cute & yes I would love to pat one.  I often wonder why people talk so much about there being lots of dangerous animals here in Australia when almost none would eat or trample you.  We don't have bears, lions, tigers, mountain lions, wolves, moose, bison or any other large dangerous beasties here.  

I think you plan to convince the kiwis of the marketing  advantages of the iceberg is brilliant...  Now we need to work out how to ship them back... The penguins could swim there... but I think it best to ship them with the kiwis...  I'm wondering if you have seen any whales near you that might be heading south for the summer?... Ummm... but we also need to ship the gear for the ski jump & brewery, now I'm thinking we need a pod or two of whales.  More pondering needed...

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

I’m sorry you have the hip pain. It’s frustrating having anything that affects mobility. I hope the pain is much better tomorrow and you can make it to big town. I’m wondering if you have any heat packs which can sometimes help provide relief?

Yes, apart from the crocs up north and the possibility of sharks in the ocean, and things like irukandji jellyfish 😟, I feel like in general it’s actually not that dangerous in Australia. Most animals here do not see humans as prey, whereas they are potential prey in various other countries. 

I have enjoyed seeing animals today. On a short walk by the river I counted 9 Western Mourning Skinks sunning themselves. They are medium-sized so not as big as the Kink Skinks but still much bigger than the tiny skinks. They are a mix of black and yellow. I also got to pat two dogs, a little white poodle and a super enthusiastic blue staffy. It was very humid this afternoon. I felt like I was in one of those glass houses that are built to house tropical plants as there was so much moisture in the air. I looked at the current weather observations and both the humidity and dew point were very high. At dusk cicadas were chirping in my backyard which is always a sign summer is on the way. The Carnaby’s Black Cockatoos were calling. At nightfall many small birds were chirping and as usual the possum was galumphing on my roof.

Well I am thinking the ski jump can be moulded from the actual ice on the iceberg. The kegs could be used as flotation devices as they are quite buoyant, even with kiwis and penguins inside them. However, there is also all the brewery infrastructure which a team of blue whales has agreed to carry. So I think we are all set. Except one problem prevails which is Eddie is still stuck in my chimney and he is the leader for all the others who won’t leave without him. So this means waiting until Santa arrives and can expel him from the chimney. But the timing will be perfect with a delivery of penguins, kiwis, kegs and brewery equipment as a special gift for Croix on Christmas Day. Santa might help carry some items on his sleigh too. Hee hee!

Well must go and do my dishes. Wishing you a good day tomorrow and a successful trip if you are able to get to big town. Sleep well 😴 

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Yes it does get frustrating having my body not being able to do what I want it to.  You know exactly what that is like yourself.  I will go into town tomorrow now, as I decided to give it an extra day of just gentle movement.  It was very warm here today, but my birdbath only had two visitors, a lark & a single solitary fairy wren.  The fairy wrens usually come in pairs with one keeping watch while the other bathes, but not today.

I'm beginning to wonder if my nearest neighbour has moved out.  I thought they were working off farm, but I've noticed they haven't mown the verge & the electric wire on the fences is off & sagging badly.  I saw some young bulls in the paddock, but all the gates between all the paddocks are open for them to roam at will, rather than them being rotated through.  The electric wire being off meant the cattle had a field day eating the leaves & soft branch tips of my tree.  At one stage there was 4 of them reaching over the fence & I was a tad concerned the old fence would give way, thankfully all still intact.  

Oh it must have been lovely patting the dogs, especially an exuberant staffy.  I'm sure it was doing lots of butt wiggles in excitement.

Humidity is horrible as there is no way to feel cool. Are you expecting a cooler change or even some hot dry winds from the north to come through & push the humidity away soon?  Pleeease don't send it this way. 😓😩

It sounds like you have the big move to the iceberg all sewn up.  I like the idea of having Santa help carry things.  After all by the time he reaches WA he will be virtually at the end of his run & have lots of room to spare.  Plus it won't be out of his way as he must already have a stop over at the iceberg on his itinerary.  It might do to post Santa a letter suggesting he make your place his last stop (bar the iceberg) so that when we all get to the iceberg on Xmas day, he & the reindeer can sit back & relax while tasting the selection of beverages concocted by the kiwis.  I'm sure a certain walrus would be delighted to host them until into the new year at least.

Hugs

Paws