Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear mmMeKitty,

I’m so glad the morning tea was enjoyable. I’m glad there was the performer too and you could sing along with his songs. The food sounds yummy 😋 

The black Goldendoodle sounds gorgeous. I have heard that they are very intelligent like Labradoodles. Therapy dogs are the best idea! Dogs always have a calming effect on me.

It’s good you have got your assessment done. I’m thinking that caffeine in the middle may have even given your brain a boost! I can be really focussed after a cup of coffee.

It sounds like you’ve had a busy couple of days. Hugzies to you too MK 🤗

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello mmMekitty,

You have had a busy couple of days lass, I'm glad you enjoyed the xmas do. Yes I'm sure it was the smells of the other dogs that made your support worker so interesting, when I called in on my sister last month I wasn't fussed over by her dogs as much as I had been in the past when I smelt of Woofa.

I make my coffee very weak at home, so when I am out and order a coffee I now ask for half strength as I find it almost undrinkable otherwise. Even the Macca's drive through will make it half strength I've discovered.

Are you noticing any improvement with your foot? I'm keeping everything crossed for you that things are rapidly getting better for you.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi all,

Gosh it's been flat out lately and oh so hot!  We're in for another horrible summer of heatwaves and no air conditioning here!  How on earth do you cope up in Queensland mmMekitty!  What's it like where you are Paws and everyone here.  I am having problems with my laptop in the heat as well...

Well I have the offer from friends who work for a local charity of a free puppy!  They know of several pups who are being taken from a puppy farm where the conditions have been poor.  Today they contacted me out of the blue and asked would I like a free puppy, Cavalier King Charles or Cocker Spaniel - fully vaccinated and health checked etc.  Only young they said.

I need time to research the breeds etc, it's unexpected.  Someone told me Cocker Spaniels have ear issues but I'm rather partial to them.  Anyway it's very kind of the people to offer and I will do some research and have a think.  Any thoughts Paws?  You are a dog person...

I have no tv reception due to the heat and my computer is playing up!  What a summer.  I hope everyone is keeping Ok and managing to get cool somehow!

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna,

I think Cocker Spaniels are rather nice too.   Umm... from what I know of the breeds & from what research I've done looking at smaller breeds since Woofa passed, of the two breeds the Cavaliers have fewer possible risky heredity issues than Cockers. Being from a puppy farm I'm sure the person didn't bother health testing the parents to prevent passing on issues & unfortunately many of the issues don't show until the dog is older, so the puppy can't be tested for them. Having said that it is equally possible they may be fine as even with poor bloodlines you can still get healthy dogs come through. Both breeds can have ear issues if the ear isn't properly maintained (cleaned) & the hairs near it trimmed, which any good groomer would do. It has more to do with how the ears hang down rather than anything heredity. 

If you go to dogzonline which is an Australian site listing breeds & breeders you can look up both breeds & on each breed information page it does list possible health issues, which might help you decide. Of course these are only ever 'might get' not necessarily 'will get'. 

Honestly if you do take one, the chances of them having health issues is no different to if you picked a puppy or young dog from a rescue group or council pound. Even vetted purebreds can still have issues crop up.

Not much help am I...

(just me personally - I'd through caution to the wind & go for the Cocker Spaniel just because they are cuter)

Lovely & cool here today, next few days in the mid 30s.... yuck!!!

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hello Paws & Hanna

I think I mentioned before that my family had a Cocker Spaniel, a female who was adorable, gentle & very loyal to my father. I loved the way she would greet us when we came home from school. I don't know if there was ever a problem with her ears, not that my parents would have told us anyway.

My eldest step-sis got a male Cocker Spaniel, who was full of energy, & as it turned out, hormones. He also loved to jump in the pool, usually on top of people.

I think they are classified as a medium sized dog, which may be something else to consider.

I think they are also intelligent & trainable.

*

I'm not complaining too much where I live. Inland or north, I think I'd be complaining a lot more. I can't imagine living where it's been getting to 40+ & with no real respite overnight.

Keep cool anyway you can, & remember to keep drinking water.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, mmMekitty and all

I think I will phone and ask for a bit more information from the lady I spoke to yesterday.  I'm inclined to go with the Cocker Spaniel too but they are a bigger dog than little Sam...thanks for the tip Paws about that site... I'll get back later I've been wondering if it's a bad time, being so hot and in a unit... but it's a nice offer.  I wish i had thought to get more info, so I might leave a phone message for her to ring me back about it and I'll have some questions ready!

I never knew Sam's background he was dumped at the local vet with his sister... it's always a risk I guess, but the groomer here who is a friend researched her dog's pedigree carefully and it still got sick constantly.  Thanks for the help guys!

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and all

I rang the Vinnies and they have given me the lady's number I spoke with yesterday, I'll phone later on.  They said the puppies aren't available until the New Year which would suit me better than right now.  I'm not sure about a medium dog like a Cocker but a friend here has a medium poodle cross-something - a quite big very sweet dog - and my friend never walks it and just leaves it home alone for hours and hours - I couldn't do that, I always took Sam everywhere.  I am a bit worried about things like patellar subluxation I think?  A friend in New Zealand says a friend of her's dog has that constantly and her friend is poverty stricken from the vet bills!

Anyway... we have no tv here for days now - Housing are still getting approval for a part to be replaced on the roof antenna - people here are going nuts.  I am fine - I have the laptop and a cd player and books  - I didn't know people were so dependent on TV - I like to get the news, but apart from that I am fine.  My neighbours are frantic!  

[mmMekitty]

Hi Paws & Hanna

Very sensible, Hanna, to have your questions ready & the time to consider whether to take on a dog which is bound to be larger than Sam.

*

Yeah, tv... I know a few of my neighbours have there tv's on constantly. Im not so sure what's so great about it anymore. If I want news, & couldn't easily get it on tv, I also have access via the internet. I am annoyed that now I have to be registered & log in to view ABC's news, but that is what I'd do if I didn't have my tv.

If you have a phone plan which allows more than minimal data usage, you can use your phone, download apps - I suspect all commercial channels, as well as ABC & SBS have apps, now, & keep up with news or favorite programmes that way too.

The ABC & SBS are even getting better at providing audio described programmes online. (It's about time!)

*

My foot is getting better, slowly. At least today I was able to stand while doing most of the exercises I was asked to do.

*

I have a new worker, Wednesday mornings, for home duties. She wants to work while studying to obtain necessary accreditation to practice nursing her in Australia. I'm not sure how long I'll have her. That depends on how well she studies, I guess. But, yeah, there are certainly jobs out there for experienced nurses, so I don't feel I can complain. It would feel awfully mean of me to feel resentment if she's off doing another job, her preferred job, in a few months or so.... 

Weird, mixed feelings.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, mmMekitty,

Yes a Cocker Spaniel would be much larger than little Sam & possibly difficult for you to pick up & carry if you needed to, the Cavalier is a bit smaller than the Cocker but not by much. Being used to large & giant breed dogs I often forget that what seems small to me is actually a medium size dog to others.

Given the dearth of good programs on TV I wouldn't think the lack of it would make much difference, I'm surprised your neighbours are missing it.

mmMekitty it is annoying that the ABC has brought in the need to register to watch shows. Not that I can watch them with my internet connection, but I don't see why they need to know specifically who watches what, surely simply knowing how often a show is accessed without knowing by whom is all they need. If it to curate what shows a person is shown to choose from then I object even more. 

Yay to your improving foot!!!!    Mine is also improving slightly, but I still can't weight bear on it.

I think I would find it hard to take on a carer I knew wasn't in for the long haul. You need to get used to them & for them to get used to you & how you want things done... then to have them leave probably just as things had settled into a routine would be very unsettling. I know I'm finding the constant turn over of doctors at the practice I go to very difficult & that is not having a stranger in my home.

My smoke alarm decided today to beep 12 times then stop... then 10 minutes later 12 beeps then stop... then 2 minutes later 12 beeps then stop, this went on for over an hour with a varying gap between beep rounds... no idea why it started or why it stopped... it is wired in, not battery operated so the puzzle continues.

Stay cool everyone

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Yes, indeed, the ABC's login is annoying. When you register, you are required to choose an avatar, from a selection they provide, & every time I login I have to also let them know which 'person', by clicking the avatar I originally chose... even though I didn't try to choose to be multiple people sharing one account. Maybe, just for fun, I could go & mess with their algorithms by adding another 'person' to my account, occasionally, & even removing someone, too!

*

Odd about your smoke alarm.... I might think the wiring is loose, or has had some critter gnawing at it... I'd also want to change the batteries, just in case, or see if there are any bugs living inside it .... I mean, I don't know, but might consider any & all possibilities, because that would really get on my nerves.

*

It seems the way things are, so many 'casual' jobs, & the job doesn't pay all that well, so if something better can be found, they are off. Even being a GP isn't the prestigious nor so well-paid as used to be, not for hours, with the need to contribute to the running of a practice, the hours of unpaid work done before & after hours... not to mention the responsibility one accepts when doing this work.

I think all the work in health care is hard work.

But, yeah, I'd very much like if, when I've found a new GP, that they would stay for at least a few years. It gets me nostalgic for the good old family doctor who sees you from birth to death, your sibs, your own or their kids, grandkids, etc, too. Being to see someone who takes the time to get to know their patients very well, gains their confidence & respect, so there would be no hesitation about talking to them about pretty much anything. They would be there, even at night, you could know they would be there.

Now, how can I feel nostalgic for something I don't think I've ever had before.

Only now, since seeing my PDr, & it's taken years, do I feel I can understand what that close bond would be like with someone so much trusted & respected as the old family doctor was.

These thoughts give rise to how deeply such a trusting relationship with anyone can be betrayed...

These thoughts are too deep for this late hour. I best leave it there & say:

Goodnight & pleasant dreams, to Paws, Hanna, & everyone

Hugzies

mmMekitty