Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Hanna and everyone...

Awe I’m really sorry about Woofa..hopefully the anti inflammatory helps a bit with the pain as well...Poor little guy....I hope he feels better soon...🤗💚🙏.

The joys of having fur babies...My fur girls didn’t travel very well years ago...and every outing led to them both being sick all over the back seat and floor....They are not so bad travelling now as long as I stop around every hour so they can get some fresh air and a little walk....

I do hope you get to meet up with your sisters on Saturday...

Its sometimes hard on anniversaries of bad things happening....even if we don’t think about them...their always seems to be something that happens around that time to trigger memories....I’m sorry you were triggered into not feeling the best....

Hugs dear friends...and fur hugs for our pets..💜💜.

Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, wave to everyone,

I know they say sharing is caring... but you really didn't need to share your hot weather... today has been hot & muggy... blah!!... seriously though I hope you are both safe with the storms & tropical downpours hitting NSW...

Woofa loves his massages... I've been giving him them plus detailed physical examinations since he was a puppy... I've done it with all my dogs as apart from being enjoyable, it also gets them comfortable with being handled (useful at the vets)... more importantly as an old family friend taught me as a child... it helps me be familiar with what is normal/healthy & enables me to pick up sooner anything not right... which is how I picked up the sore spot on Woof's spine.

I enjoy it too... I find it so calming that it is one of my go to's on my mh safety plan.

The power will be off tomorrow as they will be doing maintenance work... I must remember to fill up some bottles tonight with enough water for my cuppa's & for Woofa... it is a pain needing power to have water.

I'm off to water my pot plants... they look in need of a drink...

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi paws

I hope you keep a Thermos of hot water to make a cuppa tomorrow.

It's good you've been giving Woofa massages! Sam goes all sooky!

It's been muggy and warm here but no rain. I think we are in for more storms tomorrow.

I have a dental problem so have to try to get an appointment tomorrow, so I'm a bit sore tonight.

Sending you hugs! 🙂🐕🌞🌄😷🐶🏵️🌻

[Paw Prints]

Hello all,

Lunch was cancelled... my sister couldn't come... so it has been put off until ???...

Grandy thankfully all of my furs over the years have been good car travellers... I'm glad you have found something that helps you furs manage... it must have been so hard for you in the beginning... I wonder if they make travel sickness med for dogs or if it would be ok to give them human ones?..

Am I the only one shaking my head in disbelief at the news footage showing children playing in the flood waters... I can't believe any parent would allow that... flood water has sewerage & all sorts of unhealthy, disgusting stuff in it... plus it would be so easy for a child to go too far into the water & be swept away or caught on a submerged item... it only takes seconds for a child to drown.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, waves to everyone,

I am sorry your lunch meet up with relatives was cancelled, that's disappointing for you, I hope they can rebook it soon.

I'm sorry I don't have much time to be here at the moment, there is lots to be done here in real life as it were - I didn't see the footage of kids in the water... the floods look very bad. How is Woofa going on the new pain meds, are they helping? I hope he is going OK, we worry about our pets..

Grandy, Mrs NSC is probably very upset if she comes from around the area where the war is... people from these parts have such a terrible history with so much suffering.. and they are very nationalistic.. I suspect the people from these areas have never recovered from their terrible history of suffering.. she probably was upset, please don't take it personally, perhaps she needed to vent her feelings. I would give her space, let her speak a bit then as Deebi says, make an excuse to have to leave..

Big hugs oxoxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, wave to everyone,

Woofa's meds seem to be helping... but being him... he gave me a scare last night... he has been showing signs of the early stages of doggy dementia for awhile now... last night for about 2 hours it went to a new level... he was very confused & disorientated... he just kept wandering about the house looking lost... he couldn't settle & it was like there were invisible barriers preventing him passing certain spots that only he could see... if I went over & walked through he would follow otherwise he just stood there getting more distressed because he couldn't pass... he also couldn't get on his beds or mine... he just stood looking at them as if he either didn't know how to step on or he didn't know what they were for... by the time I finally got him to settle my worry levels were through the roof... then about 1/2 an hour later he got back up, happily went outside to puddle & then went back to bed all as normal... no longer showing distress or confusion.

The neighbour has been working with heavy machinery in the paddock beside me today... Woofa has felt the need to bark ferociously at these scary interlopers... from inside as they were far too scary to go outside & bark at... so to save my sanity I have spent most of today settling him whenever one of the machines moved.

Very humid here today... yuk!!!... the forecast said it wouldn't rain today, but there seems to be a storm brewing... fingers crossed as we need rain.

I'm tired enough for bed already & I have the start of a headache... I will be glad when today is over

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Hanna and everyone...🤗.

Im really sorry Woofa hasn’t been very well...that’s so sad..I need to google doggie dementia..I didn’t even think that it was a possibility they could get it....It must have been very worrisome for you to see him acting that way....I do hope so much that he will be okay...

I had a smile when I read how Woofa was barking at the monster machinery from inside, because they were to big and scarey to do it from outside....My 2 girls do similar...They will run inside and bark when they bring their tractor out from across the road...I wonder what the dog’s brain interrupts them as..

Hanna, I know your right about not taking it personally...Just over her knowing everything and putting Australian people down and the government...whoa the language and yelling is just way to much for me....

Its so humid here, strange for regional areas to be so humid...I wish we could take some of the rain away from Queensland....

Paws, Hanna I hope your both doing okay and your fur babies as well...hugs to all...🤗🤗.

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

Sam was getting confusion at night - he would get up and wander down the hall and didn't seem to know where to go.. it would take hours to settle him down as if I put him back on his bed he would get off and wander again.. he needed lots of comforting and cuddles... I was getting very little sleep as we were up for hours until I got him settled by playing soothing music (harp music seemed best - my friend who plays, played harp at the vet's once here and she said all the animals fall asleep to harp music).

I took Sam to the vet who couldn't find anything physically wrong, as he said sometimes this behaviour is caused by pain. I wonder if you might need to check with the vet again that Woofa is not getting pain at night when it cools down? It might be possible this is causing the behaviour.

The vet gave me a sedative tablet to give Sam half an hour before bedtime if I thought he was distressed, or during the night if he had an episode. I crush it up inside some cream cheese. It works a treat, together with lots of comforting (he's actually very scared and confused) and the music playing. They also recommend a soft light so the dog can see where he/she is.

The other thing was take him walking all different places so he has new sights and smells, play mind games , and more socialisation with people and other dogs. It's all worked a treat, he only has an episode very rarely now.

I don't know if this is helpful, but this is what we did here. I hope you can get some help for your poor Woofa, it's no fun having this distress..

Sending you big hugs, as I know how much we worry about our beloved furs. oxoxoxoxo

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

Yes the swearing and putting the govt down isn't nice for you and she shouldn't be doing that.. you're quite right to dislike the language.. she does sound like she can be difficult!!!! I'd have some excuses ready so you can make a quick exit when she starts...

It's very humid, I keep thinking it would be better if we had a good thunderstorm and it rained, instead it's like this day after day.. it makes me and Sam very tired. Does it have this effect on you? The other women in the dog park don't like it either.

When I lived in coastal town the humidity was around 90% often in summer, now I don't know how I coped!

oxoxoxo

[Hanna3]

Paws, there are some very helpful utube videos on doggy dementia but I know you have difficulty with the computer playing them.. I don't know if there is some written information on the internet about it, but my dear friend in coastal town's little dog behaved like Woofa by the sounds - she was a maltese - would walk into corners and couln't work out how to get out again, that sort of thing. She would stand in a street and not know where to go, she would stand looking confused.

Maybe a check with the vet to check the pain and meds? Do let us know how things go, it's worrying for you. Big hugs! oxoxo