Self-care....or is it laziness?

[Moonstruck]

Was reading a book by a medical professional, with recognised expertise in mental health (anxiety, depression) In referring to that time of the early morning when just upon waking....(I have felt it many times) that feeling that you would rather just stay there and rest a while before facing the day.

You may not have slept well, you're "just scared" of beginning the list of duties and responsibilities that you have on your "list"...you know? that list of "things to do" that well meaning friends and professional people advise to "keep busy, start a hobby, get involved in an activity, do some exercise, get out in the fresh air, get connected to others, volunteer for a charity to help others"......all worthwhile things sure.....but then we are told to take time just for "us". to nurture "ourselves" and when our body and mind are pushed to the limits, it's OK to "have a rest"...do what our bodies are telling us etc etc...........

The book I read advised to "get out of bed immediately...just get out of bed, make a cup of tea and move around"...don't give in to the need or urge to lie peacefully resting. ! So now I am confused. I am in my 60s and am really struggling more with ordinary physical things like housework, going for walks....due to bad hip and lower back pain...just going shopping around the streets, nothing out of the ordinary....can have me crying with pain for the rest of the day/night........so getting the balance right between "getting exercise and keeping busy" and allowing myself to take it easy and retreat from the world occasionally without feeling GUILTY is not easy.

I am battling anxiety and, in the past, panic attacks, dependence on alcohol to lessen the anxiety, some PTSD and I feel I have come a long way. Am I entitled to "experience the peace and safety of my bed first thing in the morning"...or is this being "lazy"? Do I have to join a club or push myself to go for longer walks each day, no matter how much pain it causes me? Do I "need to get out of the house"more? Or do I just follow my instincts at giving my mind and body what they tell me they need? If I feel peaceful sometimes just doing nothing....is this being lazy?

Your thoughts would be welcome.......peace and love to you all.....Moon S.

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

I agree that exercise is really important. I used to lap swim quite a lot. Living away from a swimming pool I went for long walks with Sam. We've been pretty immobile during the hot summer but today was deliciously cool and we had two lovely long walks. I had a wonderful GP years ago you used to say don't run, don't jog, all that is too hard for your joints - just walk but walk a lot!

Sorry to hear about your back and hip. I have lousy knees and neurological problems that make my feet extremely painful, but I still walk as much as I can. Sam was a different dog this afternoon, like me he loves cooler weather and today he was trotting around with his ears blowing back in the wind and a grin on his face. Alas it's not going to last, hot weather again after the next couple of days...

As for housework, I've just had a notice I have a rental inspection (horror! - my place is a mess it's been too hot for weeks now to do housework) so suddenly I have to start to vacuum, clean and tidy before the hot weather hits again and I'll be too exhausted to do it.'

I'm not a housework lover I'm afraid, so I would say relax and just look at it - don't do it until you absolutely have to! I once had a friend whose house was so immaculate it was terrifying. I was too scared to touch anything. I like a house to be a home! Somewhere where people can put their feet up and leave a cuppa and a half read book lying around and just relax.

Pats to Woofa, hope you're doing OK there. What's on offer in the café tonight?

[Elizabeth CP]

I'm wondering if we could put a different spin on those retirement Village ads & learn from them.

1. By the time we are older (ie old enough to move into a retirement village) we have contributed our fair share to the community through work, caring for our family or others volunteering etc so we are like those happy people in the ads deserving of the chance to choose what we want to do & where to live. We have the right to choose for ourselves.
2. We have as much right as those people in those ads to do what we want to do without feeling guilty because it isn't the same as what others want. I have no wish to take up lawn bowls or golf because I prefer bushwalking but you have the right to do the activities you enjoy regadless of what other like.
3. These ads depict groups of people enjoying each others company reminding us of the important of social interaction with people you like to spend time with. Social connection is important but it needs to be with people you are comfortable with. I'm much better with people on a 1to1 basis rather than groups.
4. Note the ads do NOT show the peoples own home. We think everyone else has the perfect tidy house and gets up early to ensure this is true. That is a lie. My mum told me she was advised by her mum when she had young kids to put the dishes in the sink & go out. The housework will still be there when you get back but you'll feel better for having a break. These 'happy people in the ads' are happy because they've slept in until they feel ready to face the day. They left the vacuuming for another day & are doing what they enjoy so why can't we do the same.

Lets focus on what matters to us rather than what we think others expect. 'Others don't live in our shoes & in our mind so they can't judge!!!