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Our own worse enemy

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Your worse enemy by simply being ourselves.

One of the symptoms you can experience with ADHD is talking before thinking things through and when talking (especially with anxiety)we screw up words.

"Foot in mouth"

With anxiety added into the mix we can appear totally different when explaining our thoughts to what we intended. This is even worse when tired, stressed or upset.

If some of us think about our lives overall we look back at a "train wreck". Seems its full of basic errors and also seems these basic errors are not errors others make but I question that. Id suggest the errors those without any mental illness are diffetent errors and different conflicts. Eg

I dont know the statistics but I'd assume those with mental illness are less likely to enter into operating their own business due to stress, commitment and disruption issues. If 1 in 3 small businesses collapse then those errors are felt more often by the mentally healthy.

The mentally ill restrict their social circle. We cant tolerate toxic relationships. The mentally well can, maybe 10 fold more contacts so it would be safe to assume they have greater numbers of conflicts but they can tolerate such wars as a daily event....water off a ducks back.

The difference between us and them is that we absorb our errors, stew them, dwell on them and store them in sight of our memory. The year it happened and the error we made.

The mentally unwell are mostly permitted to operate as everyday people, we can work, spend, buy, move house, have partners, drive etc. We are functional in society however there are many normal activities we carry out that, due to our illnesses we should have guidence like financial commitments and social events...but thats hard to give up, freedom of choice. Carers can intervene but not often successful unless a spouse.

The first steps forward in this regard is to know your limitations and errors you're prone to make and to have a confidant to confide in. Eg with financial matters and a reputation of poor choices research patience and consulation before purchasing that nrw car.

In summary we make as many mistakes in our lives as so called normal people but we dwell on ours more and time is our only digestive mechanism for errors. Even time is hard because??? It takes time!. We need to get advise/opinions more often and work on throwing those past rocks in the river.

We have enough difficulty with the present without carrying those rocks of the past.

Tony WK

14 Replies 14

Hi DB,

Love your tenacity

Re:
"I'm learning from thinking and here White, when I was confirmed BP I said I'm gunna beat it, psych said it can't be done, I reckon cause maybe it hasn't, doesn't mean it can't be. Getting there.
It's about emotiional control, we've all got mental strength"

I wish you well in your quest, kowever if a psych says curing your bipolar cant be done what are the ramifications of trying to the enth degree?

For me and my bipolar I gound it far easier to accept it like I have my depression, my warts, my impatience my nature. Then that results in spending my energies on what is achievable. ..which might not include cure but enough improvements to allow me to survive better in society, make me feel better and learn to live with the punishment bipolar dishes out.

Bipolar feels like, to me, like another version of my charactor, a suppressed version takes over. Its very much like hot water flowing through my brain for up to two weeks at a time.

I cant see how you'll beat that yet I'll eagerly wait for your tactics.

Regards.

Tony WK

Hi Tony

Another great thread. Besides quoting your whole post you really rang some bells with "The mentally ill restrict their social circle. We cant tolerate toxic relationships"

I do that...a lot. I usually see that as a sign of a tired mind as I am not as good dealing with 'toxic' people when I am mentally tired compared to when I am doing reasonably okay....if that made any sense.

My Best as always

Paul

Yes Paul, my wife knows when I need sleep..."you're crabby, go to bed"

When not tired I let things slide more.

Your own tenacity Paul is a reflection of your inner spirit. You're doing well. I admire those that reflect, examine and simply try. Good stuff.

That quote book would be getting full.

Tony WK

Thankyou Tony

and yes my 'coping folder' is getting larger. I was thinking about my relationships with acquaintances if and sometimes when it becomes toxic.

My own younger brother called me yesterday and said..."umm Paul...since your're not working can you help out with xyz shrub removal and build a 20' retaining wall at mums?" He knows that I am a volunteer on the forums but keeps forgetting as I dont pull a salary & company car anymore....He is 55 and thinks volunteering is somewhat 'invisible/irrelevant' unfortunately.

Thankyou for understanding Tony

Paul

Thx White Hey all 🙂

Yeah I don't find it difficult to tackle, the hardest as you well put it like hot water going through your brain, I can handle everything except the crippling depression, this last one was a long cycle and a gooden, in mania hard self talked saying I'm not gunna have the downs, Really matter of fact, they came in spurts but could handle em, nothing like the intensity of usual hell. Got through relatively unscathed. Happies, we'll see if I can keep that up, over the yrs got the mania down to a dull ROAR though lol, went from type 1 to 2.

Gunna soothe the beast budz, it's happenin slowly. Would LOVE to hold on to the mania though 😄 that's what they pay big $ for in the drug trade, we get it free, trouble is a devils pricetag aye

Hope your days are good all 🙂