Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[MarkJT]

CMF: bingo!! Mindfulness at its best. That feeling of being calm. Taken for granted by so many, appreciated by so few. When you live in a world that is in personal turmoil, those little moments of calmness are just so valuable.

You will be amazed at what you actually start to see from now on.

Mark

[blondguy]

Hey Mark

CMF has really kicked some huge goals here.....Great stuff 🙂

And more to come as well too...Nothing better than a good news story

Paul

[MarkJT]

Paul & CMF, yes positive stories are awesome and play a huge role in recovery.

CMF: Your successes need to be celebrated, not talking massive party style but just you acknowledging that you had a win. When we are suffering mental health conditions, wins do not come often so when they do, give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it.

Mark

[Sad_Puppy_Dog]

Anxiety has been with me for a long time. At least around the start of high school with bullying, expectations, the future, grades, peer pressure, etc. I over analyse, overthink, to a ridiculous degree.

After much chaos and setback particularly in the last 10 mths and time spent with a new psychologist for 2 mths, I have come to learn a bit about myself with overthinking and acknowledging it more loudly. The boiling point happened in the recent session where I became teary thinking about how much it rules my life. When asked what I was thinking, I responded that is it just SO EXHAUSTING.

It is a part of me that I do NOT want and have not managed to control and recently it is something I am confronting, questioning, analysing (!) by myself and with my counsel support. I LOATHE it, even (As goes the perpetual cycle) wondering if it has anything to do with driving people away or them recognising that quality in me and wanting to flee. Undetermined.

My mind is not always at high levels of fear though that occurs from time to time. There is some degree of me going "What if this? What if that?" about numerous things, actions I consider taking. I do seem to prefer some order, structure and logistics though I have always wished to be more carefree like some others.

My mind is frequently restless, on overdrive, going back over the same problems and scenarios (Recent breakups would be the main field above all) from things that have occurred even a long time ago, trying to get unanswered questions resolved and solve problems, going round in circles. It is SO tiring, playing my life over and over again ad infinity. It kind of makes it difficult too because I am a writer and I am creative with film, drawing and design. I'm a storyteller and a visual person...so my skills/talents can actually open up to serve me in a negative way. ^&*$!

I have recently been told to focus on mindfullness, the present moment. I am wondering however about the experiences of others who have a mind that just won't slow down, that won't stop obsessing, rehashing, planning, analysing and all of those other appropriate words. And are there examples of people who have controlled or "beaten" this aspect of themselves that I can read about? Would love to see what is out there. Thanks.

[MarkJT]

Sad Puppy Dog, what you have described will pretty much resonate with a lot of us in here. This is what anxiety does, it scrambles your mind and yep, is just so exhausting.

Before I talk about mindfulness, are you being treated? Have you seen a GP? if you have not as yet, get onto it ASAP. All the mindfulness in the world will not work unless you are being treated. We must have that clinical assistance to treat the core reason why we are anxious.

Practicing mindfulness takes time to learn and importantly understand. When our minds are racing it is exceedingly difficult to ground ourselves but in time, you can do it.

Think of this as aiming to run a marathon. You are not going to go on your first run and attempt to run 35km, it won't work. Start off with a 2-3 km run and then build it up from there.

So with my anxiety, there was a point in time that if any towel was not perfectly squared with tag to the back, a member of my family would die in a car accident. This was not a maybe, it would happen and I obsessed massive over it.

Once I realised that this was anxiety and in a moment of peaceful clarity, I knew that it was just not reasonable to think like that it was comforting.

Later on when i saw a crooked and messed up towel, my first instinct was to straighten it but i refrained from doing so. Was particularly difficult to do but i maintained my composure by listening to music. Music is one of life's greatest pleasures and grounders. Once I stopped fretting over the crooked towel, i was able to move on without the nasty thoughts.

I continued to practise doing this for some time until I now look at a crooked towel and actually have a giggle as to what i used to be. I might straighten it but that is for neatness sake, not because someone was going to die if i didn't do it.

When your mind is racing, stop what you are doing, tell yourself that you are safe and that everything will be fine. Concentrate hard on your breathing, in through nose - long deep breath and slowly out through mouth. Concentrate on that really hard and when your mind wanders, and it will, peacefully bring your attention back to your breathing. One breath at a time. It is important not to get pissed off with yourself when your mind wanders - be kind to yourself.

Hope this has helped but more than happy to answer more questions or just chat about it.

Mark.

[Sad_Puppy_Dog]

Hi Mark,

I have a GP (Still not sure if he has the compassionate bedside manner that I really want in a doc) but after a rough decline a month ago (Became suicidal) I had to see another GP in short notice as the normal one wasn't available. Been seeing this other one 1-2 times a week since, although both are currently away now when I need a medical certificate.

Anyway, I have them, a psychologist for the time being, a counselor through my job network agency and will be referred to a psychiatrist in the near future with my anti-depressant medication reviewed.

I am also extremely impatient, which makes things even harder a lot of the time. I know that mindfullness will need patience and time, trying to slow myself down and focus on other things. Sometimes it does and will feel borderline impossible to get certain thoughts out but I know I just have to keep at it and let it become a habit that sets in and does its job. I also know and have been recommended to keep myself more busy than I am already, to lessen the isolation of being at home alone so much and sitting with my thoughts...which is when the overthinking is at it's absolute peak. Giving myself things to do and actually making myself do them, is also going to be a process that requires some time and patience.

I'm trying to learn different ways of being kind to myself and to not succumb to huge self criticism.

I can't think of more questions just yet (Though I predict they will come) but I am interested to learn and discuss more about it because it's becoming just so important for me to understand this part of me and to hopefully find (If possible) mastery over it. Thanks.

[MarkJT]

Puppy, awesome that you have got that clinical care - awesome. If you are not happy with a certain GP or psych, find another one. They should be challenging but show compassion at the same time. You are not there to make friends, you are there to be helped.

Being impatient is one of my (unfortunately) stronger points! That is another trait that i am working on and on some days I am really good but on other days if i have to wait one second longer than what i have to, i am heavily annoyed and very angry. Work in progress for both of us!

Yes keeping yourself busy is important or at least engaged in something. Lazy minds are not helpful for us. I like to think that I am pretty advanced in my PTSD recovery and have a handle on the depression and anxiety but even when i have a lazy mind, it is not enjoyable.

You know what you are doing, you know what you have to do and I can sense that you have a genuine determination to want to succeed which is great but it is just time. In time when you improve your skills, you will be able to cope quite well.

I do not know how much of this thread you have read but i recommend that if you can set aside some time and have a read it would be really beneficial. Some really good posts in here. Might have to do this over a couple of days though considering it is 300+ posts long!

Get onto your app store and download "Smiling Mind". It is one of the apps that helped me learn what mindfulness is. It is guided so helps you learn. I love it. Another good one is "Buddhify".

Only takes 10-15 mins per day but if you can do some in the morning and night it will accelerate your learnings.

Mark.

[blondguy]

Hi Sad Puppy Dog!

Mark has vast experience with mindfulness and has helped me understand what it is and how to start practicing it too. Ive had anxiety for a long time followed by depression and I keep his methods handy. Thanks Mark!

You have a proactive mindset and good on you! I really liked what you wrote in your last post.....it was great stuff...

Sad Puppy Dog mentioned "I'm trying to learn different ways of being kind to myself and to not succumb to huge self criticism" This is excellent...being self aware and having the determination to try is very empowering..

Thanks for posting and I hope you can stick around the forums...when you are up to it of course 🙂

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Sad_Puppy_Dog]

Thanks Mark and Paul,

I remember Smiling Mind being mentioned by someone to me recently, one of the counselors I think. I will set aside some time for it and the same for scrolling a bit more closely through this thread. Setting up a new routine and new disciplines is a trial and error process, but I hope I can add something like that, which doesn't need to take up a huge amount of time but is hopefully effective in being able to get me calmer.

[MarkJT]

Puppy, you are spot on with what you say that it is a trial and error process when setting up new processes. That is so good to hear as you are definitely not setting yourself up for failure which happens so often.

When you start using Smiling Mind, remember that when your mind wanders, and i can guarantee it will, that is fine - just acknowledge that your concentration has wandered and then bring it back. Do not get frustrated - the more you practice, the better you will get.

One of the keys is to be kind to yourself when learning. You will be fine.

Mark