Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[TBella]

Thanks Doolhof & Quirkywords

i think I realised I'm kind of already doing it, in a lot of ways but was unware that I was.

In some ways I'm still trying to grasp it. All in time- Rome wasn't built in a day! Hey, hey, hey!

thanks again

Tbella

[MarkJT]

Qldmouse, really like your post and what you have paraphrased from the Professor. Couldn't agree with it more especially bringing your mind back gently, really important. I used to get really pissed off with myself when the mind wandered when i was told one day to be kind to myself in those instances. I changed my approach to it and find it easier to bring myself back now.

Gave the natural mindfulness vs daydreaming some more thought and I think they are different.

The natural mindfulness to me is where you are captured by something, be that the stars, the clouds or butterflies etc and your lose yourself within it.

With daydreaming you can be staring at a blank wall and just lost in your thoughts, i.e. nothing has grabbed your visual attention, it is just zoning out.

Not to sure whether I am getting you more confused here or not! At least i know what i am thinking, translating that to text is a challenge!

Mark.

[Just Sara]

Hi all;

In the past few days I've been in an odd place. I've had major success with practicing mindfulness until it's become a normal process in my behaviour.

Recently though, I've found myself getting engulfed in 'mindless' activities like TV, music and staring into space which on the face of it doesn't sound too bad. However, as I've spent so much time doing this, I've avoided my day so to speak. The hours have flown by and routines are being put on hold.

I've learned this type of avoidance is a sign I'm not wanting to be 'in my body' and instead choose to be in my head. In essence, I'm feeling unsafe, at risk and wanting to escape the real world by pretending I'm not physically 'here'.

Mindfulness techniques haven't worked so well, and activities as simple as going to bed seem threatening. I'm disclosing this because maybe someone will identify and shed light on similar experiences.

Fear is an almighty motivator when it comes to avoidance. My fear comes from within, so fighting a foe or piling furniture in front of my door can't help.

I've lived on adrenaline most of my life. Since this chemical has waned from positive - therapy, changes in my behaviour and workable management strategies, I'm in fear of stalling or even going backwards.

Anyway, just needed to vent I think.

Sara

[MarkJT]

Sara, I certainly know about shutting out the days and the hours fly by. I generally know whether I am having a bad day and are escaping from the world as opposed to just having a chill day and deliberately doing not much but every now and then these lines get blurred and I do not know what type of day it is.

One thing that i try to keep going is routines and when they break down, that is a sign for me to stop what i am doing, re-set and concentrate harder on what i have to do.

Sometimes I win with this and get back onto track but other times i tactically retreat for the time being.

Mark.

[blondguy]

Hi Everyone!

QldMouse...thanks for the great post....

QldMouse said "The mind needs to be treated like a little puppy that is easily distracted, you have to train it with gentleness and love. You can't be harsh with it of all it will know is fear, when its distracted you need
to gently bring its attention back to the present. Each time its distracted, gently bring it back and over time it will live in the moment"

Quirky....hey...I hear you....Im still learning this as well...I still like your earlier example of 'losing' yourself in the bush...the green...the trees....when you spend even 2 minutes taking in that moment...its mindfulness

TBella...Hey...You just read my mind...exactly the same...

TBella said "i think I realised I'm kind of already doing it, in a lot of ways but was unware that I was"

Mrs Dools....Thankyou so much for your experience and this "Maybe there is a connection between mindfulness and day dreaming"

MarkJT...Thanks again big time for your clarity and experience here......Just a quick question from my learning curve.....Is it possible to overthink Mindfulness as a task instead of allowing it to 'happen'?

Sara...I hear you loud and clear with your post...my mind can get that busy I dont fire on all thrusters as well. Its been one of those days for me as well...Always great to have your intellect and wisdom on the forums Sara

Thankyou everyone for helping on this topic as it does get mentioned a lot on the forums with people like me not really understanding how we can flick a switch and make mindfulness happen. We can only help eachother understand having a moment of peace without interfering thoughts..Paul 🙂

[quirkywords]

Hi everyone reading this.

There have been so many thought provoking posts , thanks for the summary Paul.

Sara you wrote fear is an almighty motivator when it comes to avoidance, and I can relate to that.

Mark,..you wrote ... "I tactically retreat for the time being", the skill there is in the timing.

I am wondering if there are things that Mindfulness can't help with. Can it help with fear or grief?

Is there a time and place for Mindfulness and it is not a cure all for everyone? Just a few thoughts from my mind that rarely stops and the questions that never end.!

Quirky

[MarkJT]

Paul, I think that you can definately overthink mindfulness. I have had mornings where I have tried doing it and didn't, matter what i did, i just could not be successful at it. I tried to figure out why and you know what, sometimes just things to do not work. The key to this for me is to leave it behind me and get on with the day. Come back again the next day and try again.

Quirky: Yes the key to tactically retreating is the key and this goes hand in hand with your question.

In January this year i was flying from Seattle to Detroit and I got triggered on the plane. I knew immediately that there was not a hope in hell i was going to control this anxiety attack that was brewing as it was just to powerful to contain and my skills did not match at all. Mindfulness time? Forget about it so i medicated and woke up a few hours later just out of Detroit​.

No biggie for me that, in fact i found it to be a postive experience as I knew what my limits are and that i still have a lot of work to do to get on top of it. A nice reminder that anxiety is still ever present and that i must keep practising mindfulness to improve my skills.

Mark.

[QldMouse]

Thanks for the summary Blondguy and MarkTJ,

Sara, +1 here. Oh that fear, yes your comments resonate all right. You are not alone. I also have a big problem with going to bed, I sleep a couple of hours a night most of the time at the moment. Fortunately every couple of days I'm so exhausted I do get a nights sleep.

Quirky, your flight experience made me smile and grimace at the same time. Same thing for me on several flight, a Chicago to Dallas springs to mind, is it something about being triggered in the US? I make light of it but I used to have a tough time in the US with triggers.

All the best all, back to the study.

[blondguy]

Hi everyone

This really is a great place for everyone to learn...even just a tiny bit about mindfulness. Ive found people's experiences a huge help with my own health.

MarkJT said " The key to this for me is to leave it behind (mindfulness) me and get on with the day. Come back again the next day and try again" Thanks for helping me out on that one Mark.

Just for myself the altitude of a commercial plane isnt the problem....Its being locked into an aluminum tube on the ground and not being able to get out. Maybe Im gutless or over sensitised but flying can take a back seat

Have a great day everyone....if possible of course 🙂 Paul

[Just Sara]

Hi QM;

I'm glad you got something out of my post. I'm genuinely stoked when I get feedback; Paul's great in this respect. He's a pip!

One thing that inhibits mindfulness is sleep deprivation. As with Mark on the plane, medication has a place when all else fails. Sleep is our number one self supporting routine, so if it's not quality, medication can be a short term bandaid.

As I have a history of sexual assaults, my bed was my enemy for decades. Eventually I pushed it up against the wall and put my dog on the bed for security while I slept. It worked like a dream! My sleep settled and anxiety waned. I do have nights when triggers occur, and still rely on med's now and then to ensure the following day's a calm one. A tool of recovery and maintenance if used appropriately.

Good luck with your studies too hun...

Mark; You have no idea how great it was to read you also have times of blah down time. I was embarrassed about mine, so reading your post made me feel less alone...thankyou.

Quirky; fear is the opposite of love; at least that's what they say. Thanks for the mention.

Paul; your kindness comes across time and again. The words you gave me mean a lot; I'm not alone. Thankyou...

Making a coffee just now, I caught myself picking up the coffee can for the 2nd time. I took a breath, focused and said out loud; "Ok, what was I doing? Oh yeah, the milk."

It's simple, but also an act of mindfulness. We talk about mindfulness as a means of defeating some big time issues, but we need to start with the basics.

What I did was pull myself out of a vague place into a moment of choice and decision. My coffee tastes perfeck! because I took a moment to readjust my focus; that's all it takes. One small step, one massive step for woman kind. Get it? Kind...lol

Have a purposeful day everyone!

Miles of smiles...

Sara xo