So after 8 months of sobriety. Last Tuesday I slipped and had a flask of Vodka at Lunch Time as my work load and some conflict got to me, My employers were told by a colleague and gave me a letter 3 days ago, asking for a meeting to discuss some concerns colleagues had, which completely pushed me over the edge... I wound up leaving at lunch on the day of the meeting (3:30pm Friday), getting completely wasted and coming back getting sent home in a taxi by my boss (which he paid for), although I didn't go home I went to a pub near my house, so when my employer didn't get a message saying I'd got home safely him and his wife called me 9 times. I didn't hear my phone, they wound up calling my parents to find out if I was still alive. I went home and my best friend and parents called the cops and I spent the night in hospital under suicide watch and freaking out about losing my job (I have no coping skills for this sort of thing). So on Sunday the employer called me and rescheduled the meeting to next Monday (8 days away, as the hospital gave me a certificate for a week). I feel incredibly stressed, I'm in Australia, and If I lose this job, I might lose everything. It was a stupid decision on the Tuesday days ago, but losing it on the Friday resulted in a mess with everyone concerned about me.
I was just going to lay it all on the table next Monday and explain my depression and anxiety, and how I am now on more meds and more frequent counselling, but I don't know what the best plan of attack is.
I have a letter from my GP and My Psychologist outlining that i am now receiving additional help in both departments, how I have struggled for years and how they know I am trying to get better. My boss has always been quite understanding and easy to talk to. I mean I imagine that if this had been it they wouldn't have rescheduled the meeting to the following Monday they would have canned me on the spot.
I just don't know what the best course of action is at this point. I want to improve, this was a one off and I will never let it happen again. I am seeking help for coping mechanisms and I am on anti anxiety and anti alcohol meds now (even though I am not an alcoholic. I just abuse it when I start drinking due to depression and make bad decisions because of unfounded guilt I have).
