Keeping on track

[gld]

Finally you reach the conclusion you have concord the beasts causing you grief. Then in a brief moment you relax and let your guard down suddenly realising that it knocking at the door again.

Has anyone out there got some good suggestions to hold them back and hold on to the good habits and develop new desirable habits?

I feel that the undesirable habits have been around so long that it is so easy for them to come back as they make you feel comfortable. Even though you know they are dragging you down.

Keen to learn some new tools to better myself.

Gen

[white knight]

Hi gld

If we were to suddenly place ourselves in the Sahara desert, with all needs, food, shade, water, we'd likely fall into depression.

Assume we could get treatment there. If we remained there, in a strange unfamiliar and difficult place...how successful would treatment be?

Another example- someone drops a lit cigarette in a bin at an office. It catches paper alight. Office staff try ways to extinguish it. Glasses of water, covering it, etc. A firefighter arrives and carries the bin outdoors. Threat removed.

And so these examples lead me to suggest that often radical ideas, actions are needed to make an impact on ones life to be effective. Eh removing yourself from the desert or removing the fire threat.

This you can google - Topic: be radical- beyondblue

For me, and a percentage of mental illness sufferers get great relief leaving the city for a country holiday. If we feel relief and relaxation holidaying in the country...why are we spending 95% of our lives in the city?

Hence I moved many years ago and it was a great part of my recovery. "Recovery" meaning I survived and tolerated my illness.

Whatever your radical action which could include other actions like removing toxic people from your life, get fit campaigns, career change etc, be careful not to go outlandishly ridiculous. Eg moving to a place inaccessible to family. That would commence new trauma and defeat your purpose.

Tony WK

[White_Rose]

Hello Gen

I think if you are going to be constantly on guard you have not fully integrated your defence mechanisms. You know the saying, if you plant a flower, a weed cannot grow there. The easy part is finding out why your beasts are causing you grief. Just pushing them down and standing on top only works for a limited time. The slightest inattention sends you flying off the lid and all hell breaks loose again.

You need to keep practising your strategies until they become the default pathway. I thought I managed to do that with some of the most pressing and hurtful of my beasts. Today I listened to someone bring them all back again and I am devastated.

The small gestures inside us move us forward a little at a time, just like losing weight (or not). Each bit needs to be examined to see where it came from and why and how it becomes a trigger for us. Understanding and embracing your beasts is the best way to keep in check. Once you have learned what they do and why, you can walk past them with few concerns.

So how do you do this? Glad you asked. You need the help of your psych or counsellor to help you identify where the beast came from and what it does to you. Then you can start dealing with it every time it pops up its head. After a while it becomes automatic and although it sneaks in under your guard sometimes, you will recognise it and know what to do.

I most definitely agree with you about the comfort of old habits. I have been making the same mistakes for years and only now recognising the why and wherefores. So when a meanie jumps out on you , you may be startled briefly, but you will be able to say, "Ah, you've come out to play. Is this trying to tell me something? What's happening in my life to bring this beast out of the shadows?" A short pause will probably identify something going amiss perhaps and needing your attention. This is what I mean by embracing your beasts. Once tamed they can act as an early warning system, alerting you to watch where you are going.

Hope this helps.

Mary

[gld]

Hi,

Thanks for the replies and i feel i able to something from both of them.

White Knight i read the post and replies and it is hitting home although i feel this could be where i am floundering. At the moment i feel that there are things causing these feelings of being overwhelmed and the fear of change is holding me back somewhat.

Last year i did some study to improve my chances of leaving my current job and started taking steps getting some experience in the field i planning to move towards. Some circumstances happened that halted my plans and increased my fear of leaving my current job as it pays well and the new career pays far less. It is also that fear of the unknown although i am working on that saying, " feel the fear and do it anyway" i do not want to crash and burn. I could count how many jobs i have had on one hand as i have found change difficult in the past but i am working to turn this around in the present.

I have never been a person that has blended in and sometimes feel this could be part of my cause of some of my triggers. My feeling on this is that i could conform and blend into clicks but then still ending up with similar triggers so i have decided to be myself.

Thanks for replies and food for thought. Open for more knowledge to make change easier.

Gen

[gld]

Hi White Knight,

My meaning of recovery is taking ownership, learning what makes my situation improve and being able to live in a way that is more comfortable. So i feel recovery is an ongoing process that will continue throughout my journey as there are times that could become overwhelming for myself.

Gen